1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:04,470
What's new at school?
-Nothing.
2
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:07,139
Nothing! Oh, uh, one
of the lunch ladies died.
3
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,774
They found her in the gym with,
like, two holes in her neck
4
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,843
and all the blood drained
out of her.
5
00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:12,678
Good lord! Who does
something like that?
6
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,280
Obviously a vampire.
W-w-where's the pepper?
7
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:16,949
Wait, what?!
Vampires are real?!
8
00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:19,885
Yes, summer, vampires
are real. Who knew?
9
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:22,855
Oh, right, all humanity,
for hundreds of years, now.
10
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,023
Yeah, summer,
it's a big universe.
11
00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:26,558
Get used to it.
R-right, Rick?
12
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,893
Well, what are we
going to do?!
13
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,628
We're gonna live our lives
until we die.
14
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,997
Possibly by vampire.
More likely auto accident
15
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,199
or heart disease,
but possibly vampire.
16
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,136
Grandpa Rick, couldn't you,
like, use your superknowledge
17
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:40,205
to turn yourself into a teenager
and come to our school
18
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,042
and help us hunt
the vampire down?
19
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,143
Um -- wow.
20
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,712
Yeah, pretty specific
pitch, summer.
21
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,348
I probably could
turn myself into a teenager
22
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,884
and hang out in the
zit-covered, hormone-addled,
23
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:54,186
low-stakes assworld
that is high school.
24
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,888
But here's my reverse-ask --
25
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,724
why in the [Bleep]
would I ever do that, ever?
26
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,560
And how dare you
even ask me that?
27
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,028
And why aren't you more
ashamed of yourself?
28
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:03,929
Dad!
29
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,731
Be ashamed of yourself,
sweetie.
30
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:06,932
Jerry! Do you know what you
just said to our daughter?
31
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:09,268
Sor-ry! I wasn't
paying attention.
32
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,703
To a conversation
about vampires?!
33
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,440
Clearly, I didn't know
it was about vampires,
34
00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,275
because I wasn't
paying attention,
35
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:18,177
which you would know,
if you ever
36
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,511
paid attention to me!
37
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,413
Oh, here we go,
right to the victim role.
38
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,748
Am I a victim, Beth,
39
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,117
or am I married
to a mean, unfair monster
40
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,518
that always hurts me?!
41
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,053
Jesus Christ!
42
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,988
Will you fix your marriage
or get a divorce already?
43
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:35,360
Well, we tried
a couples' therapist.
44
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:36,862
That's earth therapy.
45
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,764
You might as well ask a horse
to fix a merry-go-round.
46
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,232
I mean, he'll try his best,
but mostly,
47
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,767
he's just gonna get horrified.
48
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,636
I know about a place off-planet
with a 100% success rate.
49
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,372
Well, we want to make it
work, if we can.
50
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:48,607
It's just --
-then it's settled.
51
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:49,942
No need to pack.
-Oh!
52
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,710
Let's go, go, go, go!
[Door opens, closes]
53
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,947
Do you think mom and dad
are, you know,
54
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:55,981
gonna get a divorce?
55
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,883
I think it's okay
to dream, Morty.
56
00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:02,054
I'm gonna go make
some wooden stakes.
57
00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:04,022
♪
58
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,748
♪
59
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:36,255
I booked you for a two-day
intensive at nuptia four,
60
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,091
the galaxy's most successful
couples' counseling institute.
61
00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:40,626
They could save the marriage
of a dog
62
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,294
and a bar of dark chocolate.
63
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:44,696
They could save the marriage
of a porn star and a porn star.
64
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,132
Well, I know I'm ready
to try whatever it takes.
65
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:49,001
Which clearly implies
that I'm not.
66
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,536
It's not
a competition, Beth.
67
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:51,837
Oh is that how you're
gonna try to win,
68
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,539
by implying I'm
competitive?
69
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:54,840
If the shoe fits.
70
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,041
My shoe fits up your ass.
You wish!
71
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,509
Okay, have fun.
See ya Thursday!
72
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,011
Oh!
73
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:00,179
Jerk.
74
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,780
Don't insult my father.
75
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,782
He's the reason our kids
are only half-stupid.
76
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,617
Ha! You just called
yourself --
77
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:06,685
oh.
78
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,520
Beth and Jerry Smith?
Yes.
79
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,788
I'm glaxo slimslom.
80
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,790
Welcome to nuptia four.
81
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:15,694
Your marriage
can rest easy now.
82
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,864
Jerry, go ahead and sit
there and put this on.
83
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,400
This machine isolates
the part of the subject's brain
84
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:24,870
containing all perceptions
of its romantic partner.
85
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:28,073
And we will now render
Jerry's perception of Beth
86
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:31,710
with artificial
biological life.
87
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,746
[Growl]
88
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,081
Interesting.
89
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,749
What the hell is that?!
Take that back!
90
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,585
You do not think that
about me!
91
00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:40,852
I didn't do anything!
92
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,154
They scanned it out
of my brain.
93
00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:43,255
Can I take it back?
94
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,057
There's nothing to regret.
We're dealing with
95
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,059
unconscious,
unhealthy thoughts.
96
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,327
Beth.
97
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:51,330
Now, we scan for Beth's
perceptions of Jerry.
98
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:52,698
Scan hard.
He's dead to me.
99
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:53,899
Everything's dead
to you.
100
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,267
What?
Nothing.
101
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,739
[Whimper]
102
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,674
Read it and weep, bitch.
103
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,343
[Crying] Does everybody
see what I mean?
104
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:07,079
I think we all see
what you both mean.
105
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,547
[Bell rings]
106
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,449
Any leads
on the vampire?
107
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,917
No, summer!
I mean, you know,
108
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,286
I think it might be time
that we just l-let it go.
109
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:16,054
Oh, so, now, you're
too cool for this,
110
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,356
just because
grandpa Rick is?
111
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:19,191
It's not that, it's just
that the universe
112
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,627
is a little too big to care
about something so small.
113
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:22,628
Aah!
114
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,263
What up, my helsings?
115
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,964
Who wants to hunt
a vampire? Ha ha ha!
116
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,699
Rick?
How -- how did you --
117
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,101
yeah, I got bored
and then, I remembered,
118
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,203
this morning, how I blew
summer off, and I thought,
119
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,938
"hey, why are you such
a grumpy douche, Rick?
120
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,473
Go to the garage,
transfer your mind
121
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,642
into a younger clone of
yourself, and get embroiled
122
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,777
in some youthful hijinks,
what's the bfd?"
123
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,545
So here I am.
I'm tiny Rick!
124
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,114
O-o-okay.
125
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:43,548
Well, it's good
you're here, Rick.
126
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:44,950
I was pretty sure we
didn't have what it takes
127
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,585
to deal with
a bloodsucker on our own.
128
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,086
Don't short-sell
yourself, summer.
129
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,988
You got everything it takes.
But it'll still be fun
130
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,557
to do this as a [Bleep] team,
mother[Bleep] tiny Rick!
131
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:55,727
Yeah! Oh, my God,
Toby Matthews!
132
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,663
Hey, Toby. I'm tiny Rick.
I'm new.
133
00:04:57,665 --> 00:05:00,065
Hey oh -- go easy on me.
Ha ha. Just kiddin'.
134
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,634
I like your
straightforward style
135
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,503
and that lab coat's
pretty cool.
136
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:05,837
Summer.
137
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,773
He knows my name!
138
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,141
Why wouldn't he?
You're great!
139
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:10,642
But, listen,
just be careful.
140
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,311
We can't rule anybody out
as the vampire,
141
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:14,413
not even the dreamboats.
142
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,647
Stop, tiny Rick.
143
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,683
Huntin' a vampire
with my grandkids!
144
00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:19,851
[Bleep]! Tiny ri-I-ck!
145
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:22,321
Glaxo: The next step is
to watch your mythologues
146
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,357
interact together
and, uh -- big surprise --
147
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,658
it's never pretty.
148
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,093
[Laughter]
149
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,329
Here we have garrrh
and zharbidar gloompfschs,
150
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,297
or, should I say,
here we have the way
151
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,833
garrrh and zharbidar
perceive each other.
152
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,002
[Roaring]
153
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,470
[Chuckling]
As we can all see,
154
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,839
this is hardly the real
garrrh and zharbidar.
155
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,541
Which is good,
because the relationship
156
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:45,110
in their heads
is not only ugly,
157
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:47,646
it's unsustainable.
[Beep]
158
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:48,680
[Roar]
159
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,449
[Growling]
160
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:53,385
You may already be
learning something important --
161
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,854
all of these relationships
are different,
162
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,124
none of them are real,
and none of them work.
163
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:02,361
We are not the monsters
we sometimes see each other as,
164
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:06,131
because we are real
and we are functional.
165
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:09,501
That's what makes us
better than them.
166
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,337
We can find solutions.
167
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:13,372
We can adapt.
168
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,207
We can communicate.
169
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,074
[Growl]
170
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:19,378
And, most importantly,
171
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:24,383
we can work together.
172
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:27,219
Well, it was a tough adventure,
but it paid off --
173
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:28,887
our school is vampire-free!
174
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,523
Man, who would've
suspected coach feratu?
175
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,992
You did great, guys. Couldn't
have done it without ya.
176
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,560
You know, we -- w-we
should be proud of ourselves.
177
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,063
We killed a vampire
and a gym teacher.
178
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,165
Ha ha ha. Talk
about two-for-one, right?!
179
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,401
So, how, exactly,
is your old body living
180
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:43,502
in there, grandpa Rick?
181
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,070
Oh, you know,
hyperbaric quantum fluid,
182
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,571
[burp]
That kind of thing.
183
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,507
It preserves living tissue.
Not that there was much
184
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:51,576
to preserve. Look at that
mummy! Ha! Ha ha!
185
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,346
And I guess it's time for me to
get back inside the old-timer.
186
00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:58,083
Oh, my God. Toby Matthews
is asking if my parents
187
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,584
are still out of town and
if we can have a party!
188
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,220
All right, way to go, summer!
What did I tell you?
189
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:05,524
Ohh! He's asking
if tiny Rick will be here.
190
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,892
Well, you know what, summer?
191
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,727
Tell him tiny Rick
will be here!
192
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,095
And tell him to bring
some brews!
193
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:13,298
For real? Y-y-y-you
would stay as tiny Rick,
194
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,766
just so we
can have a party?
195
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,401
Hell, yeah!
What's one more night?
196
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:19,104
And who can have fun with this
old bastard hanging around, huh?
197
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,773
[Laughter]
Wubby lubby doob doob!
198
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,608
Whoo!
-Tiny Rick!
199
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,610
[Growl]
200
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,647
Moving on. Now,
we have Beth and Jerry Smith
201
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,449
from the planet e-arth.
202
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:31,616
My heart is pounding.
203
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,784
This is gonna be great.
204
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,453
The e-arth relationships
are simpler.
205
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:37,122
It's a primitive planet,
so their dysfunctions are oh --
206
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,957
w-wait, what?
What's going on?
207
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,725
Where are the Smith
mythologues?
208
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:43,328
[Suspenseful music plays]
209
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,132
Jerry: Oh, my God.
210
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:47,933
[Shriek]
211
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:48,934
[Gasp]
212
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:49,935
Aah! Aah!
213
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:53,071
Oh, my God.
Secure the cell!
214
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,973
Aaaah!
-[Slice]
215
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,309
Uh, hey! You know what's fun?
Our gift shop.
216
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,444
Why don't we proceed
in an orderly --
217
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:00,645
[growl]
218
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,647
[ Whimpering ]
219
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:03,815
Oh, dear God, no.
220
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,650
They're codependent!
221
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:06,852
Run!
222
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,254
[Roaring]
223
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,088
Oh!
224
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,756
[Crickets chirp]
[Chatting]
225
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,625
[Rock music plays]
226
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,827
[ Laughter ]
227
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,496
Oh, yeah, yeah,
you really know how
228
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,865
to sport that color blue.
Really?
229
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,867
You're looking real good.
Oh, my God.
230
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,002
Hey, Morty.
Oh, hey -- hey, Jessica.
231
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,939
So, is tiny Rick your
brother or cousin, or...?
232
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,307
No, my grandpa
just transferred
233
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,042
his consciousness
into a clone of himself
234
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,511
so he could be
in our high school.
235
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:33,645
Cool.
236
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,514
Hey, tiny Rick's
playing guitar.
237
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,615
All right, everybody.
238
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,316
This next one's coming
straight from the heart.
239
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,619
Making the lyrics up
right off the top of my head.
240
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,120
♪ Let me out
241
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:45,290
♪ what you see is not
the same person as me ♪
242
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,558
♪ my life's a lie
243
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,159
♪ I'm not who
you're looking at ♪
244
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,195
♪ let me out, set me free
245
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,197
♪ I'm really old;
This isn't me ♪
246
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:57,636
♪ my real body's
slowly dyin' in a vat ♪
247
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,371
♪ is anybody listening'
248
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,339
♪ can anyone understand?
249
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:04,876
♪ Stop lookin' at me like that
and actually help me ♪
250
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,011
♪ help me!
251
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,812
♪ Help me; I'm gonna die!
252
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,548
Tiny Rick!
Thanks, everybody!
253
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,982
[Cheering]
This guy's amazing!
254
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:11,983
I love tiny Rick!
Bad. Ass.
255
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:15,053
[Hooting]
-Yeah!
256
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,856
[Snarl]
257
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,724
[Hiss]
258
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,594
[Screaming in distance]
259
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:23,895
[Rattle]
260
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,698
Aah!
261
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,633
[Ominous music plays]
262
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:33,538
[Growl]
263
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,006
Huh?
264
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,608
What the [Bleep]?
265
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,510
Yeah, I know! What kind
of operation are you running?
266
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:41,446
Us?! What the hell kind of
relationship do you have?!
267
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,914
Oh, right,
blame this on us.
268
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,917
Okay, uh, I can and I am!
269
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,754
Your demonized mythologizations
of each other are cooperating.
270
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,222
Isn't that good?
271
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,291
No. No! It's bad!
272
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:56,261
You have the single worst
marriage I've ever witnessed.
273
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,096
It shouldn't exist!
274
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,231
You should never, ever, ever,
have gotten together
275
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,934
and I do not understand
how, or why,
276
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,970
you would ever
stay together.
277
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,304
Aaah!
278
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,872
Well, this is just
bad couples' therapy.
279
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,207
Totally.
280
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,910
[Panting]
281
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:14,713
[Suspenseful music plays]
282
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,047
Wait for us!
283
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,382
There's only room
for one more.
284
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,817
I'm a therapist.
I'll talk to them.
285
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:21,419
They're not therapists.
Go, go, go!
286
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,755
There's gotta be a way
to contact my dad.
287
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,957
Let's find a control
room or something.
288
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,561
[Suspenseful music plays]
289
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:30,929
[Creak]
290
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,465
Beth!
You'll want to see this.
291
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,566
What is it?
292
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:35,900
It's a small,
hinged panel
293
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,403
with a tiny amount
of space behind it.
294
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,071
If you can find one, too,
295
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:43,441
we should be safe for hours,
maybe days!
296
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,810
You stay put, Jerry.
297
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,979
I'll send help,
if I make it.
298
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,482
You don't want to find
your own little hatch?
299
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:53,251
Jerry, I believe that,
if you hide by yourself,
300
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,253
you might survive
and I believe I,
301
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:58,089
by myself, have a shot
of getting out of here,
302
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:00,525
but the two of us,
together?
303
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:01,660
I don't know.
304
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,695
Look, maybe the shrink
was right.
305
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:07,265
Good luck.
306
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,034
[Roar]
307
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:10,301
All right, now,
you listen to me.
308
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,770
Oh! Or don't.
309
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,505
Hey! Don't! Please!
310
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,939
[Hissing]
311
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,341
[Whining]
312
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,942
Oh, God,
oh, God, oh, God!
313
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,944
Now, I know I've said,
in the past,
314
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,613
that math is important --
and it is! --
315
00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:24,449
but I also think that,
one day, you'll all look back
316
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:28,286
on being in high school
with tiny Rick and Morty,
317
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:30,989
who I hear had a great
party last night.
318
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,191
So, class dismissed.
319
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,459
You've got the day off!
320
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,628
All right! Good work,
Mr. goldenfold!
321
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:38,797
Yeah, get outside.
Read a book.
322
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,231
Put on some sunscreen,
Danielle!
323
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,866
Hey, what's up, summer?
Ooh, nice top.
324
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,035
Thanks. Tiny Rick,
you think you might be
325
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,004
getting back into
your old body tonight?
326
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,639
No can do. Tonight's
the big dance
327
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:50,175
and Morty's bringing Jessica.
He needs his tiny wing man.
328
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,210
Both: Tiny Rick!
[Laughs]
329
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,846
Okay, but if not
tonight, when?
330
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,047
I don't know.
When I feel like it?
331
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,483
Damn, girl!
You need to chill out!
332
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,418
This whole thing was your
idea, in the first place,
333
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,053
and, now, you're trying
to rush it along.
334
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,888
Yeah, and you know what?
I like high school.
335
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,490
I like hanging out.
Tiny Rick!
336
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:08,593
But what if the you
that likes it isn't you?
337
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,161
[Laughter]
338
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,062
Oh!
339
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,330
Both: Oh, summer!
340
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,932
It's just Rick
in a younger body.
341
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,166
What's the -- what's --
what's -- what's --
342
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,534
what's the --
what's the problem?
343
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,670
Look at his art, Morty.
344
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:19,771
I've got an emo streak.
345
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,039
It's part of what
makes me so rad.
346
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,708
Why does it say "help me
Morty and summer!"?
347
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:26,344
Come on, summer, that's
the title of the art.
348
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,779
Why was knight rider
called knight rider?
349
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:30,615
The car's name was kitt.
Nobody rode Michael knight.
350
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:33,017
You're overthinking it, summer.
I'm tiny Rick!
351
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:35,754
Grandpa, I think that,
when you put your mind
352
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:36,921
into this body's
young brain,
353
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,590
it did what
young brains do --
354
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,625
it shoved the bad
thoughts into the back
355
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,127
and put a wall
around them.
356
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:45,029
But those bad thoughts
are the real Rick.
357
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,531
The fact that you're old,
the fact that
358
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,199
we're all going to die,
one day, the fact that
359
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,368
the universe is so big,
nothing in it matters,
360
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,403
those facts
are who you are.
361
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,105
So you're trapped in there
and you can only
362
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,875
come out in the form of
tiny Rick's teen angst!
363
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,310
Well, summer, I hear
364
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,813
Toby Matthews isn't
into psycho chicks.
365
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,248
Can't think of anyone
that is.
366
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,917
I'll see you mother[Bleep]
at the dance! Tiny Rick!
367
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,452
Morty, you have to
help me!
368
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,988
Summer, he's happy!
I'm happy!
369
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,422
I-I-is that why
you're doing this,
370
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,224
you don't want me
and Rick to be happy?
371
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,225
No.
372
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,593
Well, then get
your shit together!
373
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,296
Get it all together
and put it in a backpack.
374
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,698
All your shit,
so it's together.
375
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,067
And if you gotta
take it somewhere,
376
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:24,302
take it somewhere,
you know?
377
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,837
Take it to the
shit store and sell it
378
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:28,406
o-or put it in a shit museum.
I don't care what you do!
379
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,308
You just gotta
get it together.
380
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:33,344
Get your shit together.
381
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:37,782
[Slug wailing]
382
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,083
[Gasping]
383
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,585
Get back!
384
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:41,586
[Fart]
385
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,021
Wait, for real?
386
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,756
[Whimpers]
387
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:47,091
You're how Beth sees me?
388
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:48,593
Oh, my God.
389
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:49,761
Turn around!
390
00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:51,129
I said turn around!
391
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,431
How can Beth have
these thoughts about me?!
392
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,434
That judgmental
monster bitch!
393
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:57,836
I'm not taking this.
394
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,270
I want to know
where my wife is.
395
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,306
You are going to
help me.
396
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,808
No!
Nobody's doing that!
397
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,611
[Growling]
398
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,847
Stay.
399
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,048
What do you want?
400
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,816
Jerrys.
401
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,284
You want Jerry?
402
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,686
I don't even want Jerry.
403
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,722
I want Jerrys.
404
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:18,790
Waahee!
405
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,491
An army.
406
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,626
[Laughs]
407
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:22,827
An army of Jerrys.
408
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:26,464
The value of his subservience
is wasted on you.
409
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:29,901
I will use it to dominate
the universe.
410
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,302
Ah ha ha. Boy,
Jerry must think
411
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,004
I'm pretty stupid, for you
to be this stupid.
412
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,907
Wouldn't it make more sense
to put my dumbass husband
413
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,141
in this chair,
so you can make
414
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,910
an army
of youbadass self?
415
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,411
[Laughs]
416
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,914
There could never be
more than one of me.
417
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,383
I'm the strongest,
smartest being alive
418
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,853
because Jerry thinks
you're that much stronger
419
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:52,156
and smarter than you are!
420
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:54,392
Okay, ouch.
421
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:58,930
♪
422
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:01,766
Oh, hey h-hey-y!
423
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:03,001
Morty, Jessica, what's up?
424
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,269
Check out the new dance
I made up.
425
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,337
It's called "ooh let me out!"
426
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,739
♪ Let me out
427
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,007
♪ let me out
428
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,708
♪ this is not a dance
429
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:11,910
♪ I'm beggin' for help
430
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,177
♪ I'm screamin' for help
431
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,679
♪ please come let me out
432
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:15,780
♪ let me out
433
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:16,848
♪ let me out
434
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,750
♪ this is not a dance
435
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:19,851
♪ I'm beggin' for help
436
00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:20,919
♪ I'm screamin' for help
437
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,253
♪ please come let me out
438
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,454
♪ I'm dyin' in a vat
439
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,189
♪ in the gara-a-ge
440
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,558
[cheering]
-Awesome!
441
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,193
Okay, that last part
was really weird.
442
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:30,895
Maybe summer's
on to something here.
443
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,230
I don't know.
It was fun.
444
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,798
You want to slow dance?
445
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,538
Tiny Rick, hey,
great dancing as usual.
446
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,473
Moment of your time?
447
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,375
Tiny Rick,
this conversation
448
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,743
is gonna break
my heart wide open.
449
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,378
You're a great student
and the fact that
450
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,414
you're an 80-year-old man
in a clone body,
451
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,648
it never bothered me.
452
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,216
But this here
is another matter.
453
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:54,152
You recognize this?
454
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,820
We got a tip
it was in your locker.
455
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,623
Yeah, now, because the
gym coach was a vampire,
456
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,124
the school board
is embarrassed
457
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,426
and won't take it public,
however,
458
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,727
they can't have students
killin' teachers.
459
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,096
I gotta expel you
for this one, tr.
460
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,464
I'm sorry.
461
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,435
I just got expelled,
summer!
462
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:13,237
Oh! So I guess there's
no need to stay young.
463
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:14,272
My top!
464
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,506
Screw your top!
465
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,975
You ratted on me?!
I'm tiny Rick!
466
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,344
Fine! Yes!
Because I love you
467
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,079
and I'm trying
to save your life!
468
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,348
High school is my life!
469
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,450
Summer Smith is
a [Bleep] psycho nerd
470
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,585
and she just got me
kicked out of school!
471
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:30,455
All: [Gasp]
472
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:32,590
[Thud]
473
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,459
Boo!
474
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,094
Summer,
I thought you were cool!
475
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,528
I'm sorry, okay?
476
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,097
How can you be
such a bitch?
477
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,265
Oh, my God, Morty.
478
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,601
Your sister
crossed tiny Rick?
479
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,770
Talk about
self-destructive.
480
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,505
Yeah.
481
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,775
Jerry:
Hey, Jerry-lover!
482
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,443
How about a taste
of the real thing?
483
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,678
[Cocks gun]
-[Roar]
484
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,613
Jerry!
485
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,315
Ah. Ah. Ah.
486
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,751
Ah ah ah ah ah aah aah.
487
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,722
Not on my watch.
488
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,524
That's it!
489
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,861
Beth, it's me,
your husband!
490
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,529
I'm here to save you.
491
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,898
Or my name
isn't Jerry Smith!
492
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,733
Aha!
-Yes!
493
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:16,534
Jerry Smith!
494
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,169
Yeah, here.
-Aha!
495
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,404
Okay, fair enough.
496
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:20,905
[Ominous music plays]
497
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,407
[Door creaks open]
498
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,679
Say goodnight, old man.
499
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:29,981
[Gasp]
500
00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:31,682
What the hell are you doing?!
-Put it down!
501
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,484
Summer, you bitch!
502
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,753
Don't talk to her that way!
She's your granddaughter!
503
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,389
I don't need a granddaughter!
I'm tiny ri-I-ck!
504
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,824
She's my sister!
And if tiny Rick
505
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,393
is gonna be an asshole
to my sister, then,
506
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,861
you know, y-y-you
may as well be old again.
507
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,663
You think you're tough,
huh, Morty?
508
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,331
What are you gonna do?
I'm tiny Rick.
509
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:48,866
I'm the coolest kid
in your school.
510
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,436
How are you gonna just make me
do whatever you say, huh?
511
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,905
I'm gonna do what real Rick
would do if he was here --
512
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,673
I'm gonna kick your ass!
513
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:56,874
Ohhhh!
514
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:58,009
[Grunting]
515
00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:00,178
Rick, I know you're
in there!
516
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,546
I know you're trying
to get out!
517
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,347
That's it, Morty!
Hold him down!
518
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,183
[Ominous music plays]
519
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,385
[Ballad]
♪ drink up, baby
520
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,454
♪ stay up all night
521
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,522
listen to it,
tiny Rick.
522
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,057
Listen to elliott Smith.
523
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,058
Ugh! No!
524
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,526
Feel what he's feeling.
525
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,596
Ugh! Noooooooo! God!
526
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,198
♪ That you'll never see
527
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,300
oh, God, what is life?
528
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,770
How can someone so talented
die so young?
529
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,038
What is being young?
530
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,306
I'm not young.
I'm old.
531
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,373
I'm -- I'm gonna die.
532
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,042
My body isn't real.
533
00:18:31,044 --> 00:18:32,243
Morty! Summer!
534
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,244
It's me! It's Rick!
535
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,645
Regular Rick!
536
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,881
Rick! How do we get you
back into your body?
537
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,716
Okay, listen carefully.
There's a set of diodes
538
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,918
on the vat's control panel,
a blue one and a red one.
539
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,620
Oh, God, what kind
of world is this?
540
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,555
I didn't ask to be born.
I need you to connect
541
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,791
the blue one to my left temple
and the red one to --
542
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,259
why doesn't anyone
really like me?
543
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,627
Focus, grandpa!
Just put the stupid
544
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,296
wires on my head!
I hate being a teenager!
545
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,839
Ugh! Arrgghh!
546
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,811
Ah! Uhhhhh!
547
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,580
Jerry,
you can't bend metal.
548
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:10,915
Then make a me that can!
549
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,517
How can I do that
while I'm watching you
550
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,819
totally fail
to bend metal?
551
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,087
Good old Beth!
552
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:18,322
The mind of a robot
and the heart of an insect!
553
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,124
Don't talk that way
about her.
554
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,993
What?
555
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,828
Oh, it hurts!
556
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,663
Oh, God.
557
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:29,800
Stop.
558
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:33,838
This representation
displeases me.
559
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,506
Aaah!
560
00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,612
Good lord.
How did you...?
561
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,648
Well, I had a feeling
that, in your mind,
562
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,816
the ideal version of me
is one smart enough
563
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,285
to see you as...
564
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,553
A goddess.
565
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:51,522
Not such a stupid worm
now, are you?
566
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,891
Honey, when it comes
to the subject of your ego,
567
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,294
I'm Stephen [Bleep]
hawkinson.
568
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,362
Ugh, it's --
never mind.
569
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,364
I love you.
570
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,968
[Processing,
powering up]
571
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,804
[Buzz]
572
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,139
Ugh agh.
573
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,240
Rick!
Pants!
574
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,508
Holy shit!
575
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,476
Thanks, kids.
You figured it out.
576
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:13,811
Well, summer did.
577
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,479
Kind of weird that
you were that willing
578
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,148
to sell my existence out
for some trim, Morty.
579
00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:18,649
What?!
Pants!
580
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,651
But listen -- I forgive you both
because you know what?
581
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,553
I learned, today,
something important --
582
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,222
the teenage mind
is its own worst enemy.
583
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,556
Oh, I also learned this...
584
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,225
[Beeping]
585
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:30,828
Operation Phoenix is not the
fallback I thought it would be.
586
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,230
I guess it's back
to the drawing board.
587
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,998
Oh, my God!
588
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:34,999
Oh, my God!
589
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:38,035
Oh, my God.
Put some pants on!
590
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,337
Put pants on.
591
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,239
Grandpa's back, baby!
592
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:42,506
Grandpa's --
[Buzz]
593
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:44,675
Oh, man, I gotta pick up
your parents.
594
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,344
They have been
blowin' me up.
595
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:47,511
One last swing for the road!
596
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,180
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
597
00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:50,848
For the love of God,
get dressed!
598
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,453
So, what do you think?
You wanna
599
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,388
keep this marriage
going a while longer?
600
00:20:57,390 --> 00:21:01,092
At least until Morty has
graduated high school.
601
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,226
Oh. Mm.
602
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,362
[Moaning lightly]
603
00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:06,764
Aha, you see?
What did I tell you two?
604
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,765
It worked.
605
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,533
You know what, Rick?
I guess, in a way --
606
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,736
already lost interest.
Get in the car.
607
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:13,070
I've been inside a kid
all day and, now,
608
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,705
I can feel my bones
scraping each other.
609
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:17,475
Uh, just so you're prepared,
610
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:19,043
there's a bunch of dead mes
in the garage.
611
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:23,147
Huh! Sounds like our stories
were connected by a theme.
612
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:25,049
[Laughter]
Not really, Jerry.
613
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:28,419
Probably a cosmetic connection
your mind mistakes for thematic.
614
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,620
Oh.
615
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,056
Old Rick!
Ruinin' everything!
616
00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:33,658
♪
617
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,256
[Squeaking]
618
00:22:05,258 --> 00:22:07,158
[Ominous music plays]
619
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,259
Master.
620
00:22:08,261 --> 00:22:09,327
Speak.
621
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:10,628
Coach feratu's presence
622
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:12,430
was discovered
by the humans.
623
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:13,831
He has been destroyed.
624
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:14,665
No bother.
625
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:15,966
The mortals shall soon --
626
00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,368
I'm sorry, what did you
say his name was?
627
00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,103
Coach feratu.
Coach feratu.
628
00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:21,605
That was his real name,
like his actual vampire name?
629
00:22:21,607 --> 00:22:23,774
No no no no. His vampire
name was balik alistane.
630
00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:25,276
Why the [Bleep]
would he name himself
631
00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:27,311
after a famous vampire movie?
Was he doing a bit?
632
00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:28,646
I do not know,
your unholiness.
633
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:30,147
Jesus [Bleep] Christ.
634
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:32,883
From now on, no more of
this clever-name bullshit.
635
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:34,552
When a vampire is pretending
to be a human,
636
00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:35,853
they can just
call themselves
637
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,688
Alan Jefferson
or something like that.
638
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:38,956
It's crazy, right?
639
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:40,458
I mean, am I being
an asshole?
640
00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:41,959
Okay, I feel like
everybody in the room
641
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:43,327
is looking at me like
I'm the buzzkill.
642
00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:44,395
I'm not?
643
00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:47,965
Good. Okay. Great.
[Hiss]
644
00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:49,367
Oh, my g--!
645
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:50,801
Did you get any of that?
646
00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:52,970
It's-a good-a show!
647
00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:55,573
[Drumroll]