1
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,560
You remember the time
you were trying to get clean,
2
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,960
so we spent your 17th birthday watching
every episode of The Twilight Zone?
3
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:24,760
Yeah, I completely forgot about that.
4
00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:26,520
That was really nice.
5
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:34,640
I don't know what to do, Scott,
like, about you.
6
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,320
Look, you do what feels right for you.
7
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,560
I can handle it.
8
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,480
But I'm not Arnie Rivers.
9
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,760
Yeah, and I don't want to lose you.
10
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,640
You don't have to go all vigilante
11
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,560
just because people are telling you
you should.
12
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I know I fucked up.
13
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,080
Mae, the world is
an unjust pile of burning trash.
14
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,360
Bad things happen to good people,
15
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,600
and good people do bad things.
Wait, what was... what was our joke?
16
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,840
Uh, the world is a sack of poo
and rats and piss
17
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:06,960
- and worms.
- ...and worms.
18
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,000
It's poo and rats and piss and worms.
19
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:32,680
So you want to organize
a presentation about bees?
20
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Not just about bees,
21
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,440
but the students can pick
any cause that matters to them,
22
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,320
like... like trans rights
or climate change...
23
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,240
Free Britney.
24
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And the whole thing will culminate
in an after-school event
25
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,280
where they do, like, presentations
and stuff for friends and family.
26
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,480
- Can you do it Friday?
- Friday?
27
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,240
Well, we have OFSTED inspectors
lurking around like fucking dementors,
28
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and we have
zero extracurricular activities.
29
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So it's now or never. What do you think?
30
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No, we can't. We can't
just launch an event in three days.
31
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This feels very authoritarian.
32
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,520
Can we at least have a vote? Who's for?
33
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,520
Fascists! Fascists!
34
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,920
Fucking Stalinist Russia.
35
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,880
- God, I hope we pull this off.
- Yeah.
36
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,160
Can I just say thank you,
like, for being so cool
37
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:21,080
ever since we ended things
'cause it's not been weird or anything.
38
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,320
Well, I'm actually dating
five other people right now.
39
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So, I'm way too busy
for lingering awkwardness.
40
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,496
- Okay.
- No, really. I'm happy to be your friend.
41
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:32,280
Helping you grow and flourish
is so rewarding.
42
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,480
Right.
43
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,400
Oh God, I'm gonna need a holiday
after this.
44
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,040
Well, actually, next week
I'm driving to Calais for a few days.
45
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,520
Gonna help out in a refugee camp.
46
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:45,000
Then I'm gonna drive around Europe
for the rest of break, so you should come.
47
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,800
Really? That sounds amazing.
48
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,760
Actually, I can't. I can't. I can't.
49
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,560
- Let me think about it.
- Okay.
50
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,960
Okay, who wrote Doctor Shit Tits?
51
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,320
We have to save the world, apparently.
52
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,640
Now is the time
that we have to save the world
53
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,360
for future generations.
54
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,080
So, when I was a kid,
55
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,160
my mum took me to get a hot dog
at a hot dog stand.
56
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,800
And I was so excited for this hot dog.
57
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:17,880
Oh my God.
58
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,080
I take my first bite,
59
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,920
clang, on my teeth,
60
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,360
and I pull,
61
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and there's a metal wire
62
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,480
in my hot dog.
63
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,960
There's a wire in my wiener.
64
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,360
This is the world that you want to save?
65
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:43,120
The kind of world
that puts a wire in a kid's wiener.
66
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:54,360
Mae, why don't you go home,
try to sleep off this apocalyptic gloom.
67
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:55,720
It's spreading like a virus.
68
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,360
- I gotta do the late show.
- No.
69
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,920
I think you should go home.
Pete will cover your slot.
70
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,400
Oh, fuck yeah! I'm back, baby!
71
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,440
Oh, okay. I understand.
72
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,160
Censor the truthsayer. Yeah, fine.
73
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,240
Yeah.
74
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,080
Hey, uh, Nick, why don't you and Phil
75
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,720
and Jack and Donna start
a sketch comedy troupe
76
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,360
called "People who betrayed Mae."
77
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,200
Are you fucking joking? Mae,
I put my neck on the line for you.
78
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,760
I kicked Arnie Rivers out of my club,
79
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,280
and you go on TV
and act like his best fucking friend.
80
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,840
Yeah, yeah, I'm a coward.
81
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,840
Okay, I'm never gonna be brave enough
82
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,640
to do any of the things
that I need to do in my life,
83
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:32,800
but I'm fine with that.
84
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,400
What I'm not fine with
85
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:38,400
is you signing with Donna
directly after she fucked me over.
86
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,000
Thanks for the solidarity, buddy.
87
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,440
Not everything I do is about you, Mae.
I've got my own shit.
88
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,920
And if you keep putting your friends
through these tests of trustworthiness,
89
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,000
guess what? We are all going to fail.
90
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:55,840
Stop.
91
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,120
We love you. We're totally obsessed.
92
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,520
That's Elenor.
She never stops talking about you.
93
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,120
Cool. Uh, thanks.
94
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,600
All right, well, I gotta go.
95
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,840
But you're still doing the late show,
right? Please.
96
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,120
Um...
97
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,400
- No, I have to go home.
- Excuse me. Rude.
98
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,120
We came all the way
from Norway just to see you.
99
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,440
Please, can we hear you spin your yarns?
100
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,520
Um...
101
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,560
- Do you wanna come to my house?
- Yeah!
102
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,840
Thank you.
103
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,600
All right, um,
this is what I've been working on.
104
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,560
I don't know if you've heard this.
Basically, I think the world is a sack
105
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,760
of poo and rats and piss and worms.
106
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,480
- Oh, hello.
- Hey, hi. Um, okay, great.
107
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,240
Thank you very much.
I'll be here all week,
108
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:44,040
but if you wanna tell your friends,
that would be great.
109
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,120
And the show is
pay what you think it's worth.
110
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,800
So it's just a little... Thank you.
Thanks very much.
111
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,160
Tell your friends. Thank you. Hi.
112
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,600
Guess what?
113
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,960
I'm gonna start doing all my shows
in the living room. Isn't that wicked?
114
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,040
'Cause that means
I don't have to go outside.
115
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,640
I hate it outside.
It's so fucking big outside.
116
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,640
I have news. Okay, check this out.
117
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,280
Friday, my group is hosting
a social activism evening.
118
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:08,640
Kids are signing up.
119
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,480
An OFSTED inspector is gonna be there.
And I thought of the whole thing!
120
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,160
What kind of social activism?
121
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,960
All kinds. One kid is doing a presentation
on how we have to save the bees.
122
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,640
We have to save the bees now?
123
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,200
Yes, very urgently.
124
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:24,040
All right. Well,
they killed Macaulay Culkin in My Girl,
125
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:28,000
and I was raised to hate and fear them,
but if you say so.
126
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,640
Okay, I think
I'm gonna do my work upstairs.
127
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,760
Mae, you know
I'm going on winter break on Friday?
128
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,440
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. I was thinking
129
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,520
maybe we could rent a car and go to France
130
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,240
or go on holiday or something.
131
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:49,040
Mmm, I'm not really in the mood, but maybe
we could stay here and do anal instead.
132
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:51,120
Okay.
133
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,776
- Hello?
- Hey, hey.
134
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,160
I... I left my notes at home.
135
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,280
They're in a folder on the microwave.
Could you bring them to school for me?
136
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,480
- I'm not really going outside these days.
- Okay.
137
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:20,760
Thanks. Bye.
138
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,600
Miss Lawson sent me.
139
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,840
Cool. So, are you doing
this whole presentation thing as well?
140
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,040
Yeah, I'm doing bees.
141
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,960
Oh, bees.
142
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,160
I don't really see the point myself.
143
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,920
You know, because the sun
is running out of fuel,
144
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,640
and in 5 billion years,
the earth is gonna be a frozen rock
145
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,680
floating through a graveyard
of stars anyway, bees or no bees.
146
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,760
Five billion years is a long time.
147
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,040
That's a good point, actually.
148
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,120
We'll probably nuke ourselves
into oblivion long before then.
149
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,400
Anyway, have a good day.
It was really nice to meet you.
150
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,840
- Okay, that...
- You all right?
151
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,080
I asked Mae to help,
and she accidentally brought me
152
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,320
- the user manual for the dishwasher.
- Ah.
153
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,560
- She's got a lot on her plate.
- Yeah, so do you.
154
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,320
- She's got a bigger plate.
- Do you ever get to have the big plate?
155
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,120
Right, you're the gardener.
156
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,560
Huh?
157
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:46,000
In a relationship, you take turns
being the gardener or the bonsai,
158
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,440
but if you're always tending
to the bonsai, Mae,
159
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,400
then who's tending to you?
160
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,480
I don't know.
161
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,040
Pornhub?
162
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:57,280
Miss, what's the disempowering male lens?
163
00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,800
So, it's when stories are told
from the male point of view.
164
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,400
Yeah, it removes power or agency
from the women.
165
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,280
Um, like, Love Actually.
You seen that film?
166
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,480
Right? You know the bit
when the guy turns up with the cards?
167
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:10,960
Oh my God, I love that bit.
168
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,760
No! That little weasel
turns up at the door
169
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,560
with no regard for how she feels.
170
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,360
It's not romantic, it's misogynistic.
171
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,680
That is so right.
172
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,640
God!
173
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,240
And you know Romeo and Juliet.
174
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,440
I... I teach that play.
175
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,280
What actually is it?
176
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,400
Because she is a 13-year-old girl
177
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:33,040
who's so traumatized by male violence
that she commits suicide in a crypt.
178
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,520
Romeo probably doesn't even know
Juliet's middle name.
179
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,600
Right. He barely knows her
180
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:41,720
and he proposes to her and brings
all of this like drama into her life.
181
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,400
Oh, Tia. Tia, what's the matter?
182
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,960
Human beings are
just a virus on this Earth.
183
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,280
We're like fucked-up little monkeys.
184
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,440
You know what I mean?
We're like Hungry Hungry Hippos
185
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,960
just eating up the world
with this insatiable...
186
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,280
What did you say to Tia?
187
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,560
Hey, miss, there's a show in progress.
Keep it down.
188
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,200
I live here, actually.
189
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,160
Okay,
we're gonna take a brief interval.
190
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,120
If you guys wanna talk amongst yourselves,
I'll be right back. Thank you.
191
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,200
Oh, come on.
192
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,920
All I said to her is that I don't think
the world is worth saving.
193
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,000
What's wrong with that?
194
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,416
- You don't think that's true?
- No, I don't think that's true.
195
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,880
If I thought everything was hopeless,
I wouldn't be a teacher.
196
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,296
'Cause I think you're setting children up
for disappointment.
197
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,760
You're making them think
that the world is this like magical place.
198
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,920
I thought you were all about magic.
You said love was magic.
199
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:36,600
George, love is
a biological evolutionary mechanism...
200
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,520
- Oh my God.
- ...that's designed to provide
201
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,480
a brief, brief respite
from the unmitigated pain of being alive.
202
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:47,320
So forgive me
if I just want to eat Pop-Tarts
203
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,840
and pray for death
with my hot, hot girlfriend.
204
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,000
Okay, that's really not acceptable to me,
that kind of apathy.
205
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,920
Isn't it enough that I live in the world?
206
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,840
- Oh my God.
- Must I be expected to praise it as well,
207
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,920
even though it devours me ruthlessly?
208
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,000
Oh my God!
209
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,960
I am so tired of gardening your bonsai.
210
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,960
At some point,
you have to pick up a fucking rake.
211
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,000
- What the hell does that mean?
- It means I am finally
212
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,000
trying to do something for myself,
for my life,
213
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,720
and... and you decide now is the time
to have a nervous breakdown.
214
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,160
You think I decided to have PTSD?
215
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:27,200
Right. I'm sorry. So, this is about stuff
that happened in your teens.
216
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:32,360
Kind of, yes.
217
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,840
Mae, if you're not gonna do anything
about it, then let it go.
218
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,760
How long ago was it, like 15 years?
219
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,960
My fans are waiting for me downstairs.
220
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:51,200
Fine. If you could keep it down
'cause I've got a really big day tomorrow.
221
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,160
It's actually really important to me.
222
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,760
Hey, sleepykins.
223
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,240
Wanna hang out?
224
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,680
No, I don't want to hang out, Phil.
225
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,680
What time is it?
226
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,160
Okay, great.
I have a show here in like an hour.
227
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,240
I know.
228
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,000
Bought all the tickets.
229
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:27,760
You bought all the tickets?
230
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,880
- Great. Okay. I'm going back to bed.
- Mae, my dad is dead.
231
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:35,520
What?
232
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,280
I finally tracked him down last week.
233
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,480
Turns out he died three years ago.
234
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,000
Chicken pox.
235
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,360
Oh my God.
236
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,600
Phil, why didn't you say anything?
237
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,040
I didn't want to burden you.
238
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,480
I know you hate me right now, but...
239
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,440
I'd love to have
a hot chocolate with my friend.
240
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,560
So how come
you're not at George's event?
241
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,000
We had a big fight.
242
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,960
Mae, I'm sorry I spied on you.
243
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,160
- Yeah.
- I only did it because I love you.
244
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:16,240
We all do.
245
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,240
And that's why we're all here.
246
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,760
Why are you being weird? What's happening?
247
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,440
Uh, one sec.
248
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,480
And that's why we're all here!
249
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,080
There we go.
250
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,640
This is very absurd.
It's really unnecessary.
251
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,400
Mae, I miss you.
252
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,880
I miss your laugh.
253
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,960
I miss your smell.
254
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,720
I miss the way you make life feel
like a Richard Curtis movie.
255
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,320
I know you... you don't feel
the same way about me
256
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,280
that I do about you,
but I just feel like now...
257
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,040
Jack, what are you talking about?
258
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,000
How do you feel about me?
259
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:58,800
Nick.
260
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:03,840
Mae,
261
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:07,600
trust me when I say
I know more than all of you pricks
262
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,160
how unjust this world is.
263
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:13,480
But if I let myself dwell on how much
the odds are stacked against me,
264
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:17,240
I'd run a bath, get a toaster,
plug it in and...
265
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,560
Right.
266
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,480
But I handle it.
267
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,520
Even though sometimes
I feel like I'm drowning
268
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,560
in a toilet, I handle it.
269
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,960
Man, it's easier to handle it together.
270
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:34,640
It's more fun too.
271
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,400
So, come get in my toilet, innit?
272
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,800
Mae, I thought this was a roast,
273
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,160
so my speech now feels
pretty inappropriate.
274
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:51,800
You're annoying.
275
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,480
You look weird. Your comedy sucks.
You're one of my best friends.
276
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,840
- Am I?
- Shut up.
277
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,560
I was wrong
when I said showbiz was poison.
278
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,520
These men are beautiful angels.
279
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,960
Oh my God, I've been so up my own asshole.
280
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,640
I've been just like in this snow globe
of my own pain.
281
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,080
I'm sorry. I...
282
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,280
I wanna make it up to all of you.
I wanna do something.
283
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,960
What do you need? Do you need anything?
284
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,800
I think there's someone else
who needs you right now.
285
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,080
Yeah.
286
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,000
- Hi, darling.
- Hi.
287
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:28,920
Where's the bar?
288
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,640
Gonna need a drink if I sat
next to your father for an entire play.
289
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,360
It's not a play. It's an evening
of presentations about social activism.
290
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,640
I'm just not going to speak
to him when he gets here.
291
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,960
I'm just going to ignore
the wretched old cunt.
292
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,920
- Hello, girls.
- Oh, hi, darling.
293
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,320
I didn't know you were coming. How lovely.
294
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,960
Well, I wasn't gonna miss
the hotshot director's big play.
295
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,040
It's not a play.
296
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,760
Never mind. Thank you for coming.
297
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:52,880
"The play's the thing."
298
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,600
- George, have you got more handsome?
- Oh my...
299
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,200
Hi, hello.
300
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,280
And you are...
301
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,320
- I'm Elliott's boyfriend.
- Elliott's girlfriend.
302
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,200
- Oh. Okay, he's over there.
- Thanks.
303
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,160
Okay.
304
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,360
Shit, George,
the OFSTED inspector is here.
305
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,680
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
306
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,600
- Huh?
- Oh God, he's gorgeous.
307
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,720
- Why did he have to be a stone-cold fox?
- Mmm.
308
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,480
- How do I look? I'm going to talk to him.
- Yeah. Okay.
309
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,840
- Miss...
- Yeah.
310
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,000
- I don't want to do my song.
- What?
311
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,920
No, Tia, you have to do your song.
312
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,640
- Please.
- I can't.
313
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:28,280
If I do it, I'll piss or shit my pants.
Can you sing it for me?
314
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,400
- Can I, um...
- Hey.
315
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,480
Any sign of Mae?
316
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,800
Yeah, didn't think so.
All right, you ready to start?
317
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,720
Hi. Hi, everyone.
Thank you so much for coming.
318
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:47,520
We have some presentations for you
from some incredible young activists.
319
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,880
And so, you know,
let's get this show on the road.
320
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,240
Can I get a whoop whoop?
321
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,360
Huzzah.
322
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,040
Thank you, Dad. Enjoy the show.
323
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,200
The male savior.
324
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,080
The damsel in distress.
325
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,880
These tropes, they leave women...
326
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,640
Oh, miss, what's that word again?
327
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,280
- Disempowered.
- Yeah.
328
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,640
Big time.
329
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,240
Do you know what it's like
for these people? Do you?
330
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,480
Do you fucking realize
what they go through?
331
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,200
Getting too hot. Cool down.
332
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,600
This song was written by Tia,
333
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,760
uh, and it's about the... the decline
in the bee population.
334
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,160
She's asked me to sing it.
335
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:46,120
♪ Won't someone save the bees? ♪
336
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,960
♪ Will someone save them, please? ♪
337
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:54,080
♪ Please save the bees ♪
338
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:59,520
♪ Don't smoke or steal
Recycle your cans ♪
339
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,000
♪ And always flush your poo ♪
340
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,480
♪ Won't someone save these bees? ♪
341
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:10,040
♪ Those crazy, stinky bees ♪
342
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:16,000
♪ Won't someone save the bees? ♪
343
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,120
- Mae, sorry. Hi.
- Hey.
344
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,880
Hi, yeah, I didn't think you'd get here.
345
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,120
George was pretty distressed
346
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,680
- you weren't here from the start.
- What? Did she say that?
347
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,120
- Yeah.
- Oh my God, I'm such a big, dumbo idiot.
348
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,520
Elliott, what should I do?
349
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,360
You're emotionally literate.
I want to be with her forever.
350
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,000
Wow. That's a powerful sentiment.
351
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,280
I know it is.
352
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,120
You should tell her that.
353
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,000
- In front of everyone.
- Really?
354
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,400
I kind of think she'd hate that.
355
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,480
One time, I tried to sing to her in
a Whole Foods and she hid in the fridge.
356
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:01,680
Mae, if there were ever a time
for a romantic Hollywood gesture,
357
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:03,920
it's right now.
358
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,520
Yeah. God, you're cool.
359
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:08,896
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
360
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,120
Thank you.
361
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:14,280
Okay, I think I have an idea.
Where's all your drama department stuff?
362
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:22,800
If I could have everyone's attention,
we have a final presentation.
363
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:27,680
What is it?
364
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,200
George.
365
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,160
- Hey, what's up?
- What?
366
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:44,280
- Um, I want to say something to you.
- Mae, what are you doing?
367
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:47,280
Okay. I love you.
368
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,840
I really, really am in love with you,
369
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:56,200
and I know that you think
that I'm impulsive,
370
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,480
and I fall in love really easily,
but I actually don't.
371
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,800
I really don't. Not like this.
372
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,000
And I... I want to say that I was wrong
373
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:09,480
when I said that love
is a biological evolutionary mechanism.
374
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,000
It's not. I don't even believe that.
Of course I don't.
375
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,640
It's magic. Love is magic.
376
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,600
And bees, bees are magic. They're wicked.
377
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:18,680
And you're so smart,
378
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:23,680
and funny, and like,
you... you sing really good,
379
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:24,680
and you're hot.
380
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,680
You're so hot. And you're
a little bit scary, which I'm into.
381
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,760
Mae, can you stop? Please, can you stop?
382
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,256
- Just stop.
- No wait, please.
383
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,440
So I... I want to be with you forever,
384
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:35,560
and...
385
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:37,960
- Oh my God, no.
- So, George...
386
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,440
- That's why I'm asking...
- Mae, please, can you get up? Get up.
387
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:42,560
Get up. Please, get up.
388
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:47,760
...if you would do me the absolute honor
of actually marrying me
389
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,000
and make me like the happiest corn
in the whole kingdom.
390
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:57,040
We could live inside of a strawberry
in a beautiful meadow.
391
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,560
I don't know what else to do.
I don't know how else to show you.
392
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:07,640
Like, I could write you more poems
or do more push-ups or like...
393
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:08,840
What's my middle name?
394
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,000
Huh?
395
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,440
What's my middle name, Mae?
396
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,920
I obviously know what your middle name is.
397
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,560
- I don't know.
- It's...
398
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,520
Bethany.
399
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:26,920
It's Big...
400
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:29,800
Big Balthazar?
401
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,960
- No?
- No, it's not Big Balthazar.
402
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,720
And no, I'm not going to marry you.
403
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:43,720
I know.
404
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,920
I know.
405
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,480
I knew that.
406
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,240
All righty, well...
407
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,520
...um, save the bees and thanks, everyone.
408
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:03,800
Hey, you all right?
409
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,440
I'm thinking if I push my head hard enough
against this wall, I'll turn into wood.
410
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:11,880
Listen. Next week, we're gonna go
to Calais, and you don't have to be wood.
411
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,960
You can be a bonsai,
412
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,720
and I can water you.
413
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,880
What? I'm not going to Calais
with you, Elliott.
414
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,560
I need to stay and work out
what I'm gonna do about Mae.
415
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:22,720
- Mae?
- Yeah.
416
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,520
I don't get what you see in her.
She's problematic.
417
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,840
And I do... I do everything right!
418
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,560
I... I listen, I empathize,
419
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,680
and you just keep returning
to this basic heteronormative bullshit.
420
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:35,840
What about me?
421
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,200
You already have,
like, six boyfriends and girlfriends.
422
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,280
- Yeah, well, I want one more!
- Wow.
423
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,480
George, this isn't you.
424
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,120
- You're a different person now.
- I decide who I am.
425
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,400
I'm me.
426
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,480
Well, that was a laugh, wasn't it?
427
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,560
What do I... What do I do?
Do I end things with Mae?
428
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,760
George, I mean this
in the kindest possible way,
429
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,280
but please shit or get off the pot,
sweetheart.
430
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:09,440
- Huh?
- Well, either be with Mae or don't.
431
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,080
Whatever you decide, I'll support,
432
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:16,000
but this really is getting a bit dull,
George. Just change the channel.
433
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,240
Yes, look. Sink or swim.
434
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,720
It really doesn't matter as long
as you are captain of your own boat.
435
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,320
Oh, thanks, guys.
436
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:29,720
I love you.
437
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,840
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah, good luck, sailor.
438
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:45,560
♪ On my way to the city ♪
439
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,160
♪ I'll be leaving soon ♪
440
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,960
I'm so, so sorry.
441
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,080
You think it's romantic,
442
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,280
but all the gifts and the poems,
443
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:11,080
the paintings, the compliments,
they're all for your benefit.
444
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,600
I don't need any of that.
445
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,440
Do you know what I think
actual romance is?
446
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,080
It's when we do our laundry.
447
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:23,000
I like seeing all of our clothes,
like mixed up together.
448
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:24,000
Okay.
449
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,320
And there has to be room for what I like.
450
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:31,520
Where are you going?
451
00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:34,360
I...
452
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,760
I've been so self-involved,
453
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,920
and it's because I'm... I'm a teenager.
454
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,800
I'm a teenager
because I'm stuck back there.
455
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,520
I feel like I never got out.
456
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,600
And you're right.
Of course, I need to do something.
457
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,720
Um, so I'm gonna go back to... to Canada.
458
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,040
I'm gonna talk to Scott,
459
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:59,680
and I understand if you don't want to,
or you want to take some space
460
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,040
and like think about, you know...
461
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,800
Where...
462
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,760
- Where are you going?
- With you to Canada.
463
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,320
Are you not breaking up with me?
464
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:15,480
I said no to the most ill-judged proposal
of all time, Mae, not to us.
465
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,680
Also, I've never been
and I'd really like to go.
466
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,960
Did you steal this costume from my school?
467
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,080
Yes, I did. I'll return it.
468
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,160
Don't.
469
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:35,560
Hey.
470
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:36,520
Hey.
471
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,280
Wow, is that your dad?
472
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:40,200
Yeah, it's Papa.
473
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:44,920
Phil, we want you to come to Canada
with us. I bought you a plane ticket.
474
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:47,680
What?
475
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,080
Are you kidding me?
476
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:51,160
No.
477
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,120
Love you, guys.