1
00:00:26,718 --> 00:00:28,132
Mate.
2
00:00:32,457 --> 00:00:36,171
I just had the best idea
for a new business.
3
00:00:36,984 --> 00:00:39,179
You know how people
like to make sex tapes?
4
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,914
Right.
Fuck. What's this shit?
5
00:00:43,717 --> 00:00:45,390
Turn that shit off.
6
00:00:45,953 --> 00:00:49,666
We... go into business together,
right,
7
00:00:50,406 --> 00:00:52,968
making home porn.
8
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:57,196
We go round to people's houses
9
00:00:57,281 --> 00:00:59,633
with a camera, lights
and all the gear
10
00:00:59,718 --> 00:01:02,382
and shoot
sex tapes.
11
00:01:04,539 --> 00:01:06,516
Why would anybody
want to do that?
12
00:01:07,015 --> 00:01:10,343
Mate,
people will love it.
13
00:01:12,179 --> 00:01:14,578
- I wouldn't.
- Yeah, but you're a prude.
14
00:01:14,733 --> 00:01:18,054
Mate,
this... is a great idea.
15
00:01:18,570 --> 00:01:20,421
You sure you don't want to
get in on this?
16
00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:23,743
I came up with a name
for the business.
17
00:01:23,828 --> 00:01:25,938
- Mm-hm?
- You ready?
18
00:01:26,023 --> 00:01:31,226
- Mm.
- 'Home‐o Erotic'. Right?
19
00:01:31,867 --> 00:01:35,180
But the 'homo' is spelt
20
00:01:35,265 --> 00:01:38,515
H‐O‐M‐E‐O.
21
00:01:39,311 --> 00:01:43,906
Home‐o Erotic.
Get it?
22
00:01:46,922 --> 00:01:48,840
Do you know
what 'homoerotic' means?
23
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,406
Yeah.
24
00:01:51,656 --> 00:01:54,382
It means 'gay'.
25
00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:57,901
Like, gay sex.
26
00:01:59,102 --> 00:02:01,132
- Really?
- Mm.
27
00:02:02,806 --> 00:02:06,601
Oh, fuck. It took me, like,
an hour to come up with that.
28
00:02:18,791 --> 00:02:20,759
It's gotta be...
29
00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:24,227
...Gary's...
30
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,492
'Gary's Glitter Productions'.
31
00:02:31,334 --> 00:02:32,635
Hmm?
32
00:02:33,711 --> 00:02:35,289
He was a pedo.
33
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:41,476
Oh.
Yeah.
34
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:42,843
Mm‐hm.
35
00:02:45,348 --> 00:02:46,767
Yeah.
36
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:50,135
Yeah, that wouldn't work.
37
00:02:51,329 --> 00:02:53,204
*Mr. INBETWEEN*
Season 03 Episode 04
38
00:02:53,288 --> 00:02:54,618
Episode Title: "Cut the Crap Princess"
Aired on: June 08, 2021.
39
00:02:54,791 --> 00:02:56,111
- Here we are.
- Thanks a lot.
40
00:02:56,196 --> 00:02:57,814
- Have a great day. 'Bye.
- See you.
41
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,637
Buy a new bag,
you cheap bastard.
42
00:03:42,064 --> 00:03:43,522
Wow, look at you, eh?
43
00:03:43,606 --> 00:03:45,257
How you going, mate?
Alright?
44
00:03:45,341 --> 00:03:47,612
What's this?
When are you due?
45
00:03:47,704 --> 00:03:49,736
Piss off.
46
00:03:49,821 --> 00:03:52,533
- You good?
- Oh, really good. Look at me.
47
00:03:52,618 --> 00:03:54,423
So, when are you gonna
come back and train?
48
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,064
Eh, I've been training at home.
49
00:04:00,224 --> 00:04:02,193
So, how's Brucey?
50
00:04:03,322 --> 00:04:05,645
He passed, mate,
about a year ago.
51
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,480
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
52
00:04:07,564 --> 00:04:09,099
Sorry, mate.
53
00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:12,384
Oh,
I heard he wasn't too good.
54
00:04:12,492 --> 00:04:14,443
- Yeah, yeah, so...
- Ah, that's fucked.
55
00:04:14,586 --> 00:04:16,387
Yeah, what are you gonna do,
mate? You know...
56
00:04:16,483 --> 00:04:20,462
- You holding up alright?
- Not too bad, you know.
57
00:04:20,712 --> 00:04:22,528
Come on.
Hands up, hands up.
58
00:04:22,612 --> 00:04:25,898
- This place hasn't changed.
- Just how I like it.
59
00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:29,376
- How's Killy going? Alright?
- He's good. Really good.
60
00:04:29,493 --> 00:04:31,038
- Yeah?
- Yeah. So, what about you?
61
00:04:31,154 --> 00:04:32,712
You still cracking heads?
62
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:37,267
- Every now and then.
- You're not getting any younger.
63
00:04:37,814 --> 00:04:39,136
What else am I gonna do?
64
00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:41,703
Start a gym?
65
00:04:41,788 --> 00:04:44,056
Yeah, but I gotta
make some money.
66
00:04:44,782 --> 00:04:47,079
There's more important things
than money.
67
00:04:47,626 --> 00:04:49,737
- Is there?
- Yeah.
68
00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:53,407
This place hasn't made me rich,
but I love what I do.
69
00:04:54,134 --> 00:04:56,385
I love coming in here every day.
70
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,572
- It's my life.
- Mm.
71
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,658
Do you love what you do,
aside from money?
72
00:05:01,882 --> 00:05:03,550
Come on!
73
00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:06,125
Not particularly.
74
00:05:06,856 --> 00:05:09,720
You've got to ask yourself,
"Why am I doing it?"
75
00:05:18,501 --> 00:05:21,253
Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
76
00:07:17,102 --> 00:07:20,706
Piu‐piu! Piu‐piu!
77
00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:24,227
Piu!
78
00:07:33,727 --> 00:07:35,462
Piu.
79
00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,899
Thought you were pretty smart,
didn't you?
80
00:07:47,236 --> 00:07:49,689
Well, time to die.
81
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,527
Oh, fuck.
82
00:09:18,062 --> 00:09:19,731
Oh, shit.
83
00:09:32,844 --> 00:09:35,043
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
84
00:09:35,329 --> 00:09:37,504
Couldn't get the passionfruit
yoghurt, alright.
85
00:09:38,307 --> 00:09:40,160
So...
86
00:10:14,741 --> 00:10:17,010
Hey.
87
00:10:19,491 --> 00:10:21,427
Come inside.
88
00:10:29,736 --> 00:10:31,905
'Sup?
89
00:10:33,715 --> 00:10:35,166
You tell me.
90
00:10:35,382 --> 00:10:37,150
What?
91
00:10:43,739 --> 00:10:45,357
It's not mine.
92
00:10:45,441 --> 00:10:46,824
Cut the crap, princess.
93
00:10:46,909 --> 00:10:49,361
It's yours, not mine.
94
00:10:50,332 --> 00:10:52,364
Why are you such a smart‐arse
all of a sudden?
95
00:10:52,449 --> 00:10:54,267
Why do you have a gun?
96
00:10:54,352 --> 00:10:56,136
Doesn't matter why I got a gun.
97
00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:58,141
What matters is you shouldn't be
playing with it.
98
00:10:58,253 --> 00:10:59,278
If you didn't have a gun,
99
00:10:59,363 --> 00:11:01,606
then I wouldn't be playing
with it, now, would I?
100
00:11:07,339 --> 00:11:09,207
- So, where's the hole?
- What hole?
101
00:11:09,292 --> 00:11:11,494
The hole you made
when you fired the pistol.
102
00:11:35,324 --> 00:11:37,137
How do you know I fired it?
103
00:11:38,428 --> 00:11:40,646
Smell the gunpowder.
104
00:11:40,731 --> 00:11:42,668
So, why have you got a gun?
105
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,207
- Burglars.
- Burglars?
106
00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:48,982
Yeah, you know what
burglars are, don't you?
107
00:11:49,066 --> 00:11:51,134
Can we go shooting?
108
00:11:51,749 --> 00:11:54,234
- Nup.
- Why not?
109
00:11:54,319 --> 00:11:55,988
'Cause I said.
110
00:11:57,464 --> 00:11:59,148
Please!
111
00:11:59,233 --> 00:12:00,668
Nup.
112
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,473
If you took me shooting,
113
00:12:20,558 --> 00:12:23,215
then, you know,
you can teach me and stuff.
114
00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:27,270
Don't go in my room again,
alright?
115
00:12:27,426 --> 00:12:29,942
Huh?
Don't eye‐roll me.
116
00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:31,981
- Cut it out, I said.
- My eyes are closed.
117
00:12:32,066 --> 00:12:34,239
How can I eye‐roll
when my eyes are closed?
118
00:12:34,746 --> 00:12:38,170
I don't know,
but I know you're doing it.
119
00:12:38,254 --> 00:12:39,949
- What a jerk.
- 'Scuse me?
120
00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:41,724
Nothing.
121
00:12:53,654 --> 00:12:55,939
How do I know your medicine
is true medicine?
122
00:12:56,254 --> 00:12:58,023
Very easy.
123
00:13:01,764 --> 00:13:03,415
Get some 20 hunters with me.
124
00:13:03,524 --> 00:13:06,043
When all is ready,
I will rob the base...
125
00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:27,648
Oss‐breeze
126
00:13:27,802 --> 00:13:28,885
here at the ground...
127
00:13:29,235 --> 00:13:32,455
Mm, Superman, right?
128
00:13:32,742 --> 00:13:35,153
He's flying around,
cruising around Metropolis,
129
00:13:35,238 --> 00:13:37,122
looking for bad guys, right?
130
00:13:37,281 --> 00:13:39,667
He's flying around,
flying around.
131
00:13:39,916 --> 00:13:42,334
And all of a sudden,
he looks down.
132
00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:45,070
- He sees Wonder Woman, right.
- Mm, mm.
133
00:13:45,154 --> 00:13:46,305
She's starkers.
134
00:13:46,389 --> 00:13:48,607
Buck naked, all oiled up,
135
00:13:48,691 --> 00:13:51,376
sunbaking on top of
this building.
136
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:53,178
- Right?
- Mm‐hm. Mm.
137
00:13:53,262 --> 00:13:55,681
Straightaway, instant boner.
138
00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:58,917
Cracks a fat. Super fat, right?
139
00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:02,287
He thinks to himself,
"With my super speed,
140
00:14:02,371 --> 00:14:05,791
"I could fly down there,
root her,
141
00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:07,259
"give her
a quick couple of pumps
142
00:14:07,343 --> 00:14:10,162
"and then be out of there before
she even knows what hit her."
143
00:14:10,246 --> 00:14:11,597
- Huh?
- Mm.
144
00:14:11,681 --> 00:14:14,266
So, he zooms down,
10,000 miles an hour,
145
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,301
gives her a quick couple
of pumps, blows his load
146
00:14:16,385 --> 00:14:18,137
and he's gone in, like,
half a second, right?
147
00:14:18,221 --> 00:14:19,204
Yeah.
148
00:14:19,288 --> 00:14:20,906
Wonder Woman jumps to her feet
and goes,
149
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,374
"What the fuck was that?!"
150
00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:23,775
The Invisible Man goes,
151
00:14:23,859 --> 00:14:26,712
"I don't know, but my arsehole's
fucking killing me."
152
00:14:30,949 --> 00:14:32,885
Fucked him up the arse.
153
00:14:36,772 --> 00:14:39,691
..beautifully,
right off the meat of the bat.
154
00:14:39,782 --> 00:14:41,951
Superman would be able
to see him, though.
155
00:14:42,957 --> 00:14:45,230
No, he wouldn't. He's invisible.
156
00:14:45,314 --> 00:14:48,967
Yeah, but, like, in real life,
157
00:14:49,051 --> 00:14:52,437
'cause he's got that fuckin',
um, X‐ray vision.
158
00:14:52,879 --> 00:14:55,674
Yeah, but X‐ray vision
helps you to see through shit.
159
00:14:55,759 --> 00:14:58,161
It doesn't help you to see stuff
that's invisible.
160
00:15:00,663 --> 00:15:02,781
What about that heat vision
thing he's got?
161
00:15:02,865 --> 00:15:05,484
He sees infrared
and all that kind of crap.
162
00:15:05,568 --> 00:15:09,012
Oh, mate, it's a joke.
It's a joke.
163
00:15:13,876 --> 00:15:16,128
What does the Starship
'Enterprise' and toilet paper
164
00:15:16,212 --> 00:15:17,129
have in common?
165
00:15:17,221 --> 00:15:18,989
Don't know. What?
166
00:15:20,016 --> 00:15:22,151
They both search Uranus
for Klingons.
167
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,925
- Eh.
- Don't like it?
168
00:15:27,189 --> 00:15:28,950
Eh, it's not bad.
169
00:15:29,035 --> 00:15:30,629
Superman joke's better.
170
00:15:30,714 --> 00:15:32,349
Mm.
171
00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:37,700
Oh, mate...
172
00:15:38,725 --> 00:15:40,476
...I know you just got out,
173
00:15:40,803 --> 00:15:42,788
but I need you
to do me a favour.
174
00:15:42,872 --> 00:15:44,423
Here we go.
175
00:15:44,507 --> 00:15:47,977
I need you to go to my house,
grab something for me.
176
00:15:48,798 --> 00:15:50,316
What?
177
00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:52,949
- You know my stash spot?
- Mm.
178
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:58,292
I need you to go in there
and grab the black plastic bag.
179
00:15:59,188 --> 00:16:02,141
What's in it?
Your pee‐pee movies?
180
00:16:02,225 --> 00:16:04,042
- No, I've already got those.
- Oh, good.
181
00:16:04,126 --> 00:16:07,212
- Just grab the black bag.
- Alright.
182
00:16:07,296 --> 00:16:10,466
Thanks, mate. I appreciate it.
183
00:16:27,718 --> 00:16:30,754
'WHERE I STOOD' BY MISSY
HIGGINS PLAYS ON STEREO...
184
00:16:35,991 --> 00:16:37,675
In you come.
185
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,645
♪ And I don't know
186
00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:44,550
♪ If I could stand
another hand upon you
187
00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:47,085
♪ All I know is that... ♪
188
00:16:47,169 --> 00:16:48,687
Hello, Ray.
189
00:16:49,412 --> 00:16:50,689
How you going?
190
00:16:51,529 --> 00:16:53,859
Where are these things you need?
191
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:55,599
Basement.
192
00:17:01,523 --> 00:17:03,185
After you.
193
00:17:47,123 --> 00:17:48,374
You right?
194
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,201
Are you right?
195
00:17:56,193 --> 00:17:58,023
Future's female, is it?
196
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,035
Sure is.
197
00:18:12,511 --> 00:18:16,451
What's in the bag, Ray?
Your pee‐pee movies?
198
00:18:18,921 --> 00:18:20,556
They were Gary's.
199
00:18:33,553 --> 00:18:36,679
How'd you go?
200
00:18:37,647 --> 00:18:39,765
Tat's new boyfriend's
a bit of a cunt.
201
00:18:39,849 --> 00:18:42,835
- Mm. Should have shot her.
- Yeah.
202
00:18:43,162 --> 00:18:44,570
So, what's this?
203
00:18:44,967 --> 00:18:46,856
Open it.
204
00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:57,816
What is it?
205
00:18:58,115 --> 00:19:00,953
- A Vajankle.
- A what?
206
00:19:01,506 --> 00:19:02,972
A Vajankle.
207
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,109
- What do you do with it?
- You jerk off with it.
208
00:19:09,287 --> 00:19:10,596
You've had your cock in this?
209
00:19:10,718 --> 00:19:12,753
Yeah. Oi!
210
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,400
Here, here, here, have a look.
211
00:19:15,599 --> 00:19:17,836
See? You put your cock in it.
212
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:21,273
You put your cock in this part
with the vagina
213
00:19:22,076 --> 00:19:24,512
and then you play with the foot.
214
00:19:31,943 --> 00:19:33,631
What?
215
00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:37,556
Why would you put your cock
in a foot?
216
00:19:38,146 --> 00:19:39,842
'Cause I've got a foot fetish.
217
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,395
You need help, mate.
218
00:19:48,881 --> 00:19:50,669
Don't knock it
till you try it, Ray.
219
00:19:50,951 --> 00:19:53,405
- Hello?
- Hey, Ray, you free?
220
00:19:53,584 --> 00:19:54,929
Yeah, mate, what's up?
221
00:19:55,014 --> 00:19:58,920
- I've got a job for you.
- OK. What is it?
222
00:20:34,339 --> 00:20:36,074
This way.
223
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:43,146
Just down here.
224
00:20:55,152 --> 00:20:56,506
In here.
225
00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:12,740
Just gonna stand there,
are you?
226
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:18,357
- What happened?
- Does it fuckin' matter?
227
00:21:18,852 --> 00:21:20,233
Look, get this bitch
out of here.
228
00:21:20,318 --> 00:21:22,318
My folks are gonna be home
in, like, an hour or so.
229
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,153
She's somebody's daughter,
fuckhead.
230
00:21:31,086 --> 00:21:32,599
Get around that side.
231
00:21:36,665 --> 00:21:38,123
- Lift her up.
- Yep.
232
00:21:58,911 --> 00:22:01,006
Go around.
233
00:22:12,273 --> 00:22:14,514
- Get the door.
- OK.
234
00:22:28,878 --> 00:22:33,084
- How'd you go?
- Yeah, good.
235
00:22:33,249 --> 00:22:34,833
What do you want me
to do with it?
236
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:38,873
Take it out to Dural.
Bramble Road, lot three.
237
00:22:39,701 --> 00:22:42,819
There's a piggery out the back
of the farmhouse there.
238
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:47,014
Feed it to the pigs.
239
00:22:48,865 --> 00:22:50,514
OK.
240
00:23:25,660 --> 00:23:27,694
Hey, Samantha C.
How are you tonight?
241
00:23:27,787 --> 00:23:29,724
Hello, Steve.
Thanks for taking my call.
242
00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:31,109
My pleasure, darling.
243
00:23:31,194 --> 00:23:32,764
Now, tell us all how you met
244
00:23:32,889 --> 00:23:34,421
your sweetheart, Lachlan C.
245
00:23:34,506 --> 00:23:36,601
Well, I was on
the train home one night
246
00:23:36,686 --> 00:23:39,131
and I was carrying
a big stack of stuff...
247
00:23:44,687 --> 00:23:46,138
..between me and the groper
248
00:23:46,389 --> 00:23:48,106
and kind of protected me,
you know?
249
00:23:48,190 --> 00:23:49,374
And that was Lachlan.
250
00:23:49,458 --> 00:23:51,326
Your knight in shining armour.
251
00:23:51,498 --> 00:23:53,022
Yeah, we...
252
00:24:57,093 --> 00:24:59,745
Samantha, this is
a fantastic romantic story.
253
00:24:59,886 --> 00:25:03,015
I really hope
your fears are unfounded.
254
00:25:07,636 --> 00:25:10,888
Stay with us here at Radio 1128
for better music like this ‐
255
00:25:10,973 --> 00:25:13,809
'Stay With Me ',
Lorraine Ellison.
256
00:25:19,297 --> 00:25:24,514
♪ Where did you go
257
00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:31,310
♪ When things went wrong, baby?
258
00:25:31,469 --> 00:25:35,747
♪ Who did you run to... ♪
259
00:25:36,899 --> 00:25:42,984
♪ And find a shoulder
to lay your head upon?
260
00:25:43,133 --> 00:25:48,984
♪ Baby, wasn't I there?
261
00:25:49,461 --> 00:25:55,250
♪ Didn't I take
good care of you?
262
00:25:56,578 --> 00:26:03,359
♪ No, no, I can't believe
you're leaving me
263
00:26:05,086 --> 00:26:09,984
♪ Stay with me, baby
264
00:26:10,172 --> 00:26:16,017
♪ Please stay with me, baby
265
00:26:16,102 --> 00:26:20,198
♪ Oh, stay with me, baby
266
00:26:20,283 --> 00:26:26,867
♪ I can't go on
267
00:26:27,983 --> 00:26:33,756
♪ Who did you touch
268
00:26:33,990 --> 00:26:36,796
♪ When you
needed
269
00:26:36,944 --> 00:26:39,663
♪ Tenderness?
270
00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:44,460
♪ I gave you so much
271
00:26:44,584 --> 00:26:47,280
♪ And in return
272
00:26:47,491 --> 00:26:51,467
♪ I found happiness... ♪