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This is Paxton Hall-Yoshida.
2
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He's a 16-year-old boy
from Sherman Oaks, California,
3
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and I am model, designer, activist,
4
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and a former 16-year-old from California,
Gigi Hadid.
5
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You may be asking yourself,
6
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"Why is Old Gigers
taking time out of her busy skedge
7
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to narrate the story
of a 16-year-old boy?"
8
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Believe it or not, I relate to this kid.
9
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We're both constantly underestimated
because people only see us as sex symbols.
10
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♪ She would find some time
To spend with me ♪
11
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When scientists declare your face
to be perfectly symmetrical,
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that's all everyone thinks
you have to offer the worl d,
13
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but we've got brains, too,
and feelings, and...
14
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Paxton, dude, put a shirt on!
I'm trying to make a point here.
15
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Anyway, we have
so much more going on inside.
16
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At least that's true for me.
We'll see what happens with Paxton.
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♪ Lady luck, she is lovely ♪
18
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Dude, my arm. What the hell?
19
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I just wanted to make sure
you're not faking it.
20
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Wow, you're, like, really hurt, bruh.
21
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Uh, yeah, he was like,
"really hurt, bruh,"
22
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but it wasn't just his arm,
and it was all this chick's fault.
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Ever since Devi came into Paxton's life,
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it's been nothing but chaos and confusion.
25
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Paxton, I am so sorry.
26
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It's just so weird
seeing you all busted up.
27
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I'm still prettier than you are.
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Hey, I have a vibrant countenance
that people find relatable and appealing.
29
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Paxton wasn't
really the jealous type,
30
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but the fact that Devi,
the weirdest girl he'd ever liked,
31
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was two-timing him with Ben Gross
really screwed with his head.
32
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I mean Ben Gross, really?
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♪ 'Cause I just got that feeling ♪
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♪ If I can be better ♪
35
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What did Ben Gross have
that Paxton didn't?
36
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Besides a screening room and a...
37
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Whoa, is that a Patek Philippe watch?
Damn, I don't even have one of those.
38
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I have some unpleasant news.
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According to the powers that be,
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I am no longer allowed to test you guys
41
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on your feelings about history.
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Apparently, they think it's more valuable
43
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for you to know about things like dates,
44
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and facts,
45
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and the names of dead white men.
46
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So, is the test gonna multiple choice, or...
47
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Multiple choice.
Yeah, you'd love that, wouldn't you?
48
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Can we choose two answers for a question,
or do we have to commit to just one?
49
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Interesting, Ben. I am definitely open
to there being multiple answers.
50
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No, there should only be one choice,
51
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and Devi should have known what it was.
52
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Can't believe
you got played by dorks.
53
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Are you not as hot as you used to be?
Am I the hottest one in the group now?
54
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Yeah, Coyote Girl cheated on you
with that Young Sheldon-looking dude,
55
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and now you smell like wet cast.
You've lost your edge, man.
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Shut up, dickhead.
I haven't lost anything.
57
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Anyone want to sign my cast?
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Paxton had no shortage
of female admirers.
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Legend has it,
he romanced Kaia Gerber at summer camp
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when he was just a boy of ten.
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See? The only mistake I made was letting
crazy Devi drag me into her psychodrama.
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"Crazy Devi"?
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Oh my God, that is so good. She is crazy.
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Remember when she fell in that guy's pool?
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That guy? You mean Ben, your ex-boyfriend?
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Oh, right! I forgot about him!
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"Crazy Devi." That's hilare.
68
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Remember when she had
that weird party?
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And that guy fell off the roof?
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That was me.
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As a champion swimmer,
Paxton had never worried about college.
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He'd already been courted
by some pretty dope schools
73
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like Stanford and UCLA.
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So he thought it was weird
75
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when the college counselor
suddenly asked to see him.
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Good afternoon, Paxton.
Thank you for meeting with me.
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No problem.
I didn't even know this room was here.
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Let me cut to the chase.
I spoke to your coach this morning,
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and due to the severity of your injury,
80
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you might have to face the possibility
that you might not swim for Stanford.
81
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Well, I'd still be cool
with going to Stanford,
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even if I can't swim there.
83
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Oh, sweetie...
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I think we need to cast a wider net.
85
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You see, what you have
are college athlete grades,
86
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and when you subtract the athlete part,
your options tend to narrow.
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Wait, so where can I get in?
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I'm fine with anything as long as it's,
you know, close to a beach,
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has a good basketball team,
the classes aren't too hard,
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but like some smart people still go there.
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Ah-ha. Well, let's see.
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First off,
are your parents extremely wealthy?
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- No.
- All right.
94
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:07,015
In that case, perhaps a two-year
or community college might be a safer bet.
95
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Look, we can shoot higher,
96
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but you'll need to significantly
improve your GPA.
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Would you be open to being tutored?
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Um... I guess.
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Great! Because I took the liberty
of setting you up
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with the best peer tutor
in the entire school.
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This girl is an academic beast.
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Uh...
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Sorry, she didn't tell me it was you.
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Oh, you two know each other?
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Oh, no. Let me guess.
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She was some sort of bet
with your cool friends.
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What? No.
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I'd rather not go to college
than work with her.
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Hey, what are you doing home so early?
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Oh, right. No swimming for you, Nemo.
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Yeah, no swimming for me.
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Wait, do you usually come hang out
at my house when I'm not home?
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Yep. I find it's a peaceful place to sit
with my thoughts,
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or to watch porn.
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- Didn't need to know that.
- What's wrong, buddy? You seem down.
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Ms. Warner said that without swimming,
college isn't looking too great for me.
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Eh, who needs college?
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After high school,
I'm going straight to YouTube.
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Get this.
I'm gonna react to reaction videos.
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Yikes.
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- Cool.
- I know, right?
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Paxton, you good?
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Yeah. Yeah, I'm... I'm great, man.
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I just
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kinda don't know
what I'm doing with myself.
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I'll tell you what your doing.
You're hanging out with me.
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Now that you're free,
we can party every day.
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You wanna blow some shit up?
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Oh shit.
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Oh!
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Oh, yeah!
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Oh!
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Oh!
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Watch the screen and you'll know, Shira.
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Oh yeah!
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- I told you. I told you.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
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I'm pushing A and the left joystick.
138
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You're not supposed to click A,
and you're not doing it.
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You're not moving the left joystick.
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Wow, dude,
that reaction was kind of weird.
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Yo, that reaction was good.
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That was sick!
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Dude, that's a surprising reaction.
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He left.
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Nice. Really descriptive, bro.
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Your reaction to my reaction
to their reaction just made my life, bruh.
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This week has been the best.
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And you know what next week
is gonna be like? Exactly the same.
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For the rest of our lives, baby!
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For the rest of our lives.
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- Huh?
- I need you
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to help me get into college.
153
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,828
All right. This doesn't have to be weird.
We can be study buddies.
154
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Could I offer you a soda,
or a water, or a hot tea?
155
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Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
156
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I actually work a little better, too,
when I'm dehydrated.
157
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Oh. Wow.
This book has not been opened before.
158
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- So where should we start? Math?
- You mean where should you start?
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Look, when I said I needed your help,
I meant I need you to do my work for me.
160
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So, when you're done
with my English essay, you can start...
161
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What? I can't do that.
That would be cheating.
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Cool.
Then you should be really good at it, huh?
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- Paxton, let me explain.
- Explain what?
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How you thought you could get away
with dating both of us?
165
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You must think I'm such an idiot.
166
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I don't think you're an idiot.
167
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I liked you. You know, I thought we were...
168
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What?
169
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Doesn't matter.
170
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,925
Paxton. I'm really, really sorry.
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Look, I could honestly give a shit
about you and Ben Gross. All right?
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But you trashed my chances
at a swimming scholarship.
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So now I'm going to college
on a you-doing-my-homework scholarship.
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We good?
175
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,148
Cool.
176
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:39,996
Sorry to interrupt, but I did your math
and your English essay,
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and I made this serving dish
for your art class.
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I think it's a rustic conversation piece
for any elegant tablescape...
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00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,546
Cool. You can just leave it right there.
180
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I mean,
what Devi did to Paxton was cruel,
181
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,676
but this is straight-up humiliating.
182
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Yo, you're blocking the screen!
183
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Damn, Crazy Devi,
you made me 'splode myself.
184
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,059
And Paxton wasn't enjoying
punishing her
185
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,728
as much as he thought he would.
186
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,857
I can't believe you said that to her face.
187
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,610
She was literally blocking the screen.
188
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,532
Even getting his very first "A"
felt like a pretty hollow victory.
189
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,375
It's like when you see
an overly photoshopped
190
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,993
swimsuit photo of yourself.
191
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:22,455
Your butt may look right and tight,
but you know you didn't earn it.
192
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:31,172
Okay, so I need you to do the unit six
questions in my biology textbook,
193
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,467
and here is a Spanish take home quiz
on parts of the body.
194
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,760
I already filled in...
195
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,011
Eggs.
196
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,931
Bueno. Muchísimas gracias. Adiós.
197
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,015
What?
198
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,477
I'll get these to you tomorrow.
199
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,560
Oh.
200
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,689
Oh. Hey, Rebecca. Cool fit as always.
201
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,691
- Thanks, Devi.
- See ya.
202
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,071
You're making Devi do your homework?
203
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,365
Keep it down, please?
204
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,949
Look, I can explain.
205
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,701
She's the reason I don't have...
206
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:01,785
Any dignity?
207
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,747
No. Ouch. Jesus, Rebecca.
208
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,667
She's the reason I don't have a chance
at a scholarship anymore.
209
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,877
It makes sense for her to help me.
She owes me.
210
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,961
No one owes you.
211
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,714
I had to work so hard
to get into my fashion program.
212
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:18,386
- I know. All right, and I'm proud of you.
- Don't you want to be proud of yourself?
213
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,971
I just want to go to college. Period.
214
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,266
And without Devi,
I don't know if I can make that happen.
215
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:26,894
Then maybe you don't deserve to go.
216
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:30,690
Damn, Rebecca. Drag his ass.
217
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,192
Not that I'm taking sides.
I am his narrator.
218
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,905
♪ And now let the weak
Say they are strong ♪
219
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:40,658
Paxton's parents,
Kevin and June Hall-Yoshida,
220
00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:42,451
ran a local sporting goods store,
221
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,079
and as you can see here,
were a little Jesus-y,
222
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,288
but in a chill way.
223
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:50,626
Like in a "we've got one of those
fun fish stickers on our Volkswagen" way.
224
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:54,004
Amen. So, Paxton, Ojichan called.
225
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:56,340
Uh, he said, "Email is broken."
226
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,885
So could you go by after school
and help him out? He loves seeing you.
227
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:03,180
Sure. It's not like
I have anything else going on.
228
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,975
So how's everything at school?
229
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,936
Yeah, your college counselor called,
230
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,564
and she said now that swimming's
on the back burner...
231
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,899
- I have to raise my grades.
- Yeah.
232
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,651
I know. I got it covered.
233
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,361
Someone's got it covered.
234
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,530
But, honey, to be honest,
235
00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:22,491
I told Mrs. Warner that I'm not gonna put
that kind of pressure on you.
236
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,578
Our family values kindness
over achievement.
237
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:26,829
Yeah.
238
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:31,625
- You don't think I can get into college?
- No, honey. That's not what we meant.
239
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,837
Just school's never been your thing.
240
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,382
Yeah, and we want you to know
that if you don't go to college,
241
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,301
that is totally okay.
242
00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,970
You know, just hang back.
Work at the store with me.
243
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:46,432
Yeah, and we always sell
so many sports bras during your shifts.
244
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,267
Whoa, these hippie Christians
245
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,686
have some real low expectations
for their kid.
246
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,189
Like, lower than Paxton's dad's ponytail.
247
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:56,233
Have you guys ever thought
that maybe I want to go to college?
248
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,152
- You do?
- Of course.
249
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,322
I want an education, a career.
250
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:04,825
Well, that's really cool, sweetheart,
251
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:08,287
but if you wanna go to college,
you're gonna have to work really hard.
252
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,791
I can work hard.
Why don't you think I can work hard?
253
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,292
I'd like to answer that.
254
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,586
No, please don't.
255
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,465
It was bad enough
his peers and teachers underestimated him,
256
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:23,135
but hearing his parents excuse him
from even trying to go to college
257
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,720
really cut Paxton to the core.
258
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:29,308
- What do you want your new password to be?
- Um, uh, dog.
259
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:30,601
That's too short.
260
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,687
- Okay, dogs.
- It needs to be at least eight letters.
261
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,607
Oh, man, that's too many letters. I'm old.
262
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:38,942
Yeah?
263
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:43,364
Ted, how about some fresh lemonade?
264
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,075
Cheryl,
this is my grandson, Paxton.
265
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:50,871
Oh. So handsome.
Just like his grandfather.
266
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,206
Ah.
267
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,750
I'll come back when you're alone.
268
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,711
Damn, player.
269
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,423
Well, look who's talking.
I noticed all those hearts on the cast.
270
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,259
Yeah, you know. I get it from you.
271
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,010
Yeah.
272
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:08,806
- Hey, Ojichan?
- Yeah?
273
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,474
- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.
274
00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:14,353
Do you think I'm too stupid
to go to college?
275
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,273
What? Who told you that?
276
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:21,110
Basically everyone, including my parents.
277
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,444
Oh, what do they know?
278
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,239
Look, don't get me wrong.
I mean, I love them,
279
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:27,992
but they spend too much time in the sun.
It cooks their brains.
280
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,953
You are smart enough to go to college.
281
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,331
You were fluent in Japanese
by the time you were five.
282
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,975
I think you are a genius.
283
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,919
- Arigato, Ojichan.
- Mmm.
284
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:42,715
Paxton, people are going to think
all sorts of things about you.
285
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:45,926
That you're not smart,
that you don't belong,
286
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,013
that you're the handsomest man
in the whole assisted living center.
287
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,681
Yeah?
288
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,933
Oh, Ted. I made you a chicken.
289
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,602
I'm busy, Gladys!
290
00:14:56,228 --> 00:15:00,482
But, Paxton, the only opinion of you
that truly matters is yourself.
291
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,235
So make yourself proud. Okay?
292
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:08,490
Now, I want to give this to you. Here.
293
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,453
You try and give this to me every time.
It's a box of books you don't want.
294
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:15,956
No, they're family heirlooms.
Some of them are very old.
295
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:16,957
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
296
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,169
Because this is the novelization
of Avatar.
297
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:23,213
And you will cherish it
when I'm dead and gone,
298
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,842
and you will pass on the wisdom
of the Na'vi to your grandchildren.
299
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:30,554
- Thank you.
- Now, how about some chicken?
300
00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:40,356
Oh. Hi. I think you should do
your woodshop homework on your own.
301
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,524
It's heavy
because it's filled with birdseed,
302
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,944
but I forgot to put a hole in it
for the birds.
303
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,322
Yeah, I actually don't want you
to do my homework anymore.
304
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:51,992
Is it because of how bad
the birdhouse is? I get it.
305
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,744
No, no, it's not the birdhouse.
306
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:57,373
Wait a minute.
Is there a roof on the bottom of it too?
307
00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,166
I panicked.
308
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,752
Look, I've been thinking about it,
309
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,797
and I don't want
to cheat my way into college,
310
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,676
so can you tutor me, like, for real?
311
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,260
Of course.
312
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:13,555
Awesome. Well, we have
that Facing History test on Friday.
313
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,932
Maybe we can start there?
314
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,267
Yeah, sure. I'd love...
315
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:21,438
Whoa.
316
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:25,901
All right, who coined the term Cold War
in the British press in October 1945?
317
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,112
I don't know. Russia?
318
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,738
No. George Orwell.
319
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,716
You think the whole country of Russia
320
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,826
sat down at a typewriter
and wrote an essay?
321
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,577
I don't know. This stuff's hard.
322
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,163
Can't you at least try
and make it more interesting?
323
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,125
Like, rap all the facts
like they did in Hamilton?
324
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:44,795
I can't do that.
I don't know... how.
325
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,508
- Uh! Yeah.
- Ey.
326
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,886
Oh no. Make it stop.
327
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:57,641
♪ Soviets put out Sputnik
But they can suck a dick... ♪
328
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,977
I can't. I'm bailing. I'm bailing.
329
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,563
Did you just tell a satellite
to suck a dick?
330
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,773
And did you just remember
what Sputnik was?
331
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,233
Oh, I did.
332
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,569
Someone's learning.
333
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:12,239
What is a boy doing in your room
with the door closed?
334
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,408
Mom, I'm just tutoring him. Relax.
335
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,327
He wants tutoring?
336
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,374
Fine, but you can tutor him
from further away, right? Move!
337
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,252
- Okay.
- It's studying, not tango class.
338
00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:26,378
There's a boy here?
339
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:29,339
Oh, you're handsome.
340
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:32,760
What's your ethnicity?
Let me have three guesses.
341
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,970
No, no, no, let's not do that. Come, come.
342
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,682
Devi, door stays open.
343
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:43,812
That... That right there
is why I'm good at school.
344
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,231
I live with an army
of badgering Indian women.
345
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,567
- Huh.
- My mom will threaten me with bodily harm
346
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:50,277
if I make anything below an "A."
347
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,863
It's highly motivating.
348
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:56,658
Oh my God, I've got it.
I will be your overbearing Indian mother.
349
00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:58,827
That could work,
350
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,997
but isn't it a little messed up
for you to act like my mom?
351
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:06,335
- Why?
- I don't know, because we used to hook up.
352
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:10,297
Paxton! Boy, stop.
353
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,674
You know what you're doing
with those bedroom eyes.
354
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,135
Oh, nice.
355
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,640
What's the name of the military alliance
356
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,476
between the Soviet Union
and several Eastern European countries?
357
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:26,814
The Warsaw Pact, and that's a fact.
See? I can rap too.
358
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:30,192
Quality rapping. Okay, who was
the first American man in space?
359
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,277
Wait, we had a trick for this one. Uh...
360
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:36,657
Space, the moon,
counting sheep, shepherd. Alan Shepard!
361
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:40,160
- How long was the Cuban Missile Crisis?
- Twelve days. Ow!
362
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,453
What the hell?
363
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,539
You just brought shame
to your whole family.
364
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,582
Why can't you be more like your cousin?
Hmm? Hmm?
365
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,543
My cousin works at a weed dispensary.
366
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:51,797
Well, let me just dispense some knowledge
into your brain. It was 13 days.
367
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,340
Shit.
368
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,760
Hey, it's okay. You got this.
369
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,640
- Yo, Maxi-Pax.
- Told you not to call me that, bro.
370
00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:04,351
No doubt, but look,
I snuck the answers to the test
371
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,562
while Shapiro was out eating an açaí bowl.
372
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,772
Look, I wrote them on my thigh.
373
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:13,193
- Here. Do you want to copy them down?
- Nah, man, I'm good. I studied.
374
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,696
What? You studied?
375
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,700
Why can't you be more like your cousin,
the weed dealer?
376
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,713
All right. He wrote his name.
We're on a roll.
377
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:37,718
Oh no. Short answer?
Where's the multiple choice?
378
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,639
Okay. We can do this, Paxton.
You remember what NATO is.
379
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,601
It's the North Atlantic
Treaty Organization.
380
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:48,145
The North Atlantic Treaty Organization.
381
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:50,480
Come on, kid, just write "North."
382
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,151
Ugh! Only an asshole would smile
during a test.
383
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,612
Just start writing, Pax. Write anything.
384
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,995
No, no, no. Don't panic.
Take a deep...
385
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,708
Oh damn. He gone.
386
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,428
Hey, are you okay? What happened?
387
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:25,224
I don't know. It was the craziest thing.
388
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:28,852
My... My heart was racing,
and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
389
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:33,190
I mean, all over a history test.
What's wrong with me?
390
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,902
I think you had a little panic attack.
391
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,696
I... I used to get nervous
before swim meets,
392
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,991
but, I mean, once I hit the water,
it went away
393
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,785
because I knew I was good at it.
394
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:48,205
Well, you can be good at school too.
You just need to practice.
395
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,832
Were you good at the butterfly
the first time you tried it?
396
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,168
Yeah. I set a school record.
397
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:57,172
Oh. Wow.
That's famously a very hard stroke.
398
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,592
- Not for me.
- Okay, Michael Phelps. Chill.
399
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,719
But back to the school thing.
400
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:04,930
I think it's good
that you had a panic attack.
401
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:08,600
Why? It felt awful.
402
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,144
Well, it means you care.
403
00:21:12,062 --> 00:21:13,563
You care about school.
404
00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:18,110
Oh, damn. I guess I do.
405
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,028
Weird.
406
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:23,198
It's not like
it really helped me much.
407
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:27,160
I definitely failed that test. I mean,
I think I even got today's date wrong.
408
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,497
Well, it's a good thing
you have a pushy Indian mother.
409
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:32,791
Get up. Let's go.
I want to talk to your teacher.
410
00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:35,127
Are you deaf? Get up! Let's go!
411
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:37,004
- Okay. Okay.
- Let's go. Now.
412
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,171
All right. Okay.
413
00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:43,969
Mr. Shapiro,
Paxton would like to retake his test.
414
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:49,474
I'm sorry, guys. That wouldn't be fair
to the other students.
415
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:53,770
Mr. Shapiro, because you bowed
to the establishment,
416
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:56,273
Paxton was besieged
by a crisis of self-worth.
417
00:21:56,898 --> 00:22:00,902
If you don't give him a second chance,
you're teaching him that it is not okay
418
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,487
for young men to be vulnerable,
419
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:06,283
and are therefore furthering
the agenda of toxic masculinity.
420
00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:08,492
Yeah.
421
00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:10,996
Oh my God. Am I?
422
00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:15,751
Thank you for calling me in, Devi.
423
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:18,003
Paxton, stop by at lunch.
424
00:22:18,086 --> 00:22:20,297
You can take that test again.
425
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:23,967
Really? Thanks, Mr. S. I'll be there.
426
00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,306
Oh, what was that?
427
00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:32,392
First rule of being an honors student,
learn to manipulate your teachers.
428
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:34,811
Mrs. Paloma gives me
a Christmas gift every year.
429
00:22:37,397 --> 00:22:39,733
Seeing Devi chumming it up
with Paxton
430
00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:41,610
was more than Ben could bear.
431
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:45,155
Samberg, get the hell out of here.
You had your episode.
432
00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:49,785
Oh, whatever, Hadid!
Why you gotta be so possessive? I'm out.
433
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:53,872
- What's poppin'?
- Yo.
434
00:22:54,581 --> 00:22:57,667
- I brought Tarts for my favorite tutee.
- Thank you.
435
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:02,254
Mmm.
436
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,800
- These hit different when you earn them.
- Hmm.
437
00:23:06,718 --> 00:23:08,678
- Check it out.
- You got a "B."
438
00:23:09,304 --> 00:23:10,305
I got a "B."
439
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:11,973
That's sick.
440
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:13,057
It's a start.
441
00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:15,310
Thanks for pushing me, by the way.
442
00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:20,690
Of course. I mean, I sort of owe you
for the fact that you got hit by a car.
443
00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:24,694
And the other thing.
444
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,531
Yeah, the other thing.
445
00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:30,283
We really don't need to talk about that.
446
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:32,535
We're cool.
447
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,206
Really? Wow. That's a relief.
448
00:23:36,289 --> 00:23:37,289
Yeah.
449
00:23:37,999 --> 00:23:41,420
I mean, it's... it's crazy when you think
about it, right? You and me?
450
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,881
I mean, there's no way
it would've worked out.
451
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:49,678
I mean,
we just don't make any sense, you know?
452
00:23:50,345 --> 00:23:53,056
Uh... Right. Right.
453
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:57,144
Tutor and tutee seems like a much more
natural relationship between us.
454
00:23:57,894 --> 00:23:58,894
Exactly.
455
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:04,443
- So, would you maybe want to sign my cast?
- Yeah.
456
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:08,822
It's pretty crowded.
457
00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:12,617
I see Zoe Maytag wasn't overly concerned
with leaving room for others.
458
00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:16,037
That's Zoe. She actually wrote over,
like, a couple names I think.
459
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,914
I'm not surprised.
460
00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:26,590
Check this out.
461
00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:31,386
A "B." Did Devi have a bad day?
462
00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:36,099
No, I had a good day.
I actually studied and got this on my own.
463
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,268
You opened a textbook?
464
00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,313
I did. I even read
all the words on the pages.
465
00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:43,106
She taught you how to read?
466
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:45,066
Yes, Rebecca!
467
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,736
Someone get her on Twitter.
We need her realness.
468
00:24:48,945 --> 00:24:52,157
You were right. If I'm going to college,
I want to earn it.
469
00:24:52,782 --> 00:24:53,992
I'm proud of you.
470
00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:56,661
Thanks, Becca. I'm proud of you too.
471
00:24:57,287 --> 00:25:00,373
Hey, could you try these on?
472
00:25:00,457 --> 00:25:03,043
I think you're the same size
as Kendall Jenner.
473
00:25:03,835 --> 00:25:06,338
I think I'm more of a Kylie, but...
474
00:25:07,547 --> 00:25:10,050
Well, this has been a real blast,
475
00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:12,969
but I gotta get
back to my super fulfilling life
476
00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:14,221
as a multi-hyphenate.
477
00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:18,725
I hope we've all learned that
we shouldn't judge a book by its cover,
478
00:25:18,808 --> 00:25:21,686
and that the Cold War ended in 1991.
479
00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:24,689
John McEnroe, back to you.
480
00:25:25,398 --> 00:25:28,527
♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪
481
00:25:29,277 --> 00:25:32,614
♪ Where the sun is shining away ♪
482
00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:37,327
♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪
483
00:25:38,286 --> 00:25:43,833
♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪
484
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:48,880
♪ Look in the mirror
Notice my reflection ♪
485
00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:53,176
♪ Don't wanna look again
Without affection ♪
486
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:57,597
♪ My skin is turning green
Am I reptilian? ♪
487
00:25:57,681 --> 00:26:00,058
♪ I think it's kickin' in ♪
488
00:26:00,141 --> 00:26:03,645
♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪
489
00:26:04,479 --> 00:26:10,193
♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪
490
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:14,197
♪ We'll always find a way ♪
491
00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:16,366
♪ Mexican... ♪