1
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,857
It's alive!
2
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,711
Congratulations.
3
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:50,082
You're the very first
human to make it to heaven.
4
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:54,086
I'm so excited that you're here.
5
00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:56,354
These are for you. I made
it myself. This, too.
6
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,090
It's all pretty
self-explanatory.
7
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:01,259
Um, okay, enjoy
eternal paradise.
8
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:03,762
Uh, let me
get that started for you.
9
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:09,601
Ah, people are
going to love this.
10
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,804
Ah, it looks so calm and
blue from up here, don't it?
11
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:15,107
But the ocean's the
deadliest place on Earth.
12
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:27,286
Aah!
13
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:10,028
I bet this fish
14
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,763
has seen some shit.
15
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:15,100
We, the Sons of
Anarchy, need new blood.
16
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,968
Our brothers keep getting shot,
17
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:19,371
run over, or infected
with gonorrhea.
18
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:22,474
I got three new prospects,
but they're kind of weird.
19
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,844
Biker Mice from Mars?
20
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:28,680
Originally from Mars,
then Chicago for a bit,
21
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,216
then an unsuccessful
reboot back on Mars again.
22
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:35,220
Careful, Jax, we don't
want to let in a rat.
23
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,956
Rat? My mama didn't
raise no rat.
24
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,059
Hey, relax. To survive
all the organized crime
25
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,527
that, for some
reason, is centered
26
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:45,197
in this one small town in
California, we need numbers.
27
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,965
Let's see if they work out.
28
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,734
Oh, they definitely work
out. Look at those abs.
29
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:52,337
That mouse has never touched
a piece of cheese in his life.
30
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:57,142
All in favor of
the new recruits?
31
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,577
- Aye.
- Yes to the weirdos.
32
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:03,648
Here we come, and we got lasers.
33
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,823
You watch out for
that kitty cat there.
34
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,526
- Oh, God!
35
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:18,897
And that, boys, is
why we wear helmets.
36
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:47,025
Wow, I really used
to sound like that.
37
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:51,463
Luckily, I found Al Kaplan's
alien-accent reduction course
38
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:52,897
Who here feels
they've been judged
39
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:55,300
because of the way
they speak?
40
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,736
Over the next four weeks,
my vocal command course
41
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,038
will transform your
weird alien sounds
42
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,273
into perfect English.
43
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:07,212
E.T. phone home.
44
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,313
First-person singular.
45
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:11,249
I phone home.
46
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,218
Nicely done.
47
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,787
Before Al, I was unemployed,
48
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,055
living in a swamp.
49
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,257
Virtually no love life.
50
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,926
Hurt did it went
from heaven you fell?
51
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:23,261
Hmm?
52
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:26,131
Since mastering my speech,
I started a business,
53
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,967
bought a better swamp,
and got engaged.
54
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,169
Remember, change your speech...
55
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:33,838
All: Change your life.
56
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:36,275
Thanks, Al.
57
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,312
I'm not sure which
birth control to use.
58
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,646
What's the pill like?
59
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,348
Why don't I let it tell you?
60
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,670
Wow, it sounds like the
pill is the way to go.
61
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,539
I beg to disagree.
62
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,649
Back off, you uterus usurper.
63
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:19,050
This is my turf.
64
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:20,352
You want to go?
65
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,688
I think I'll just
stick with abstinence.
66
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:27,559
Yeah, well, you didn't seem
that cool anyway, so...
67
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,628
I need to give this to
the one man I can trust.
68
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,007
I thought long and
hard about this,
69
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:35,100
and it's you, Batman.
70
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,587
Batman. Batman.
71
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:56,721
Huh? What? What?
72
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:58,723
Fine. I'll entrust
this kryptonite ring
73
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,860
to somebody else to defeat
me if I ever go insane.
74
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,695
I really thought
you'd give a damn.
75
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:04,940
Don't look at me cry.
Up, up, and away.
76
00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:06,931
No! Wait! No, wait!
77
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:08,700
I-I... I d... I do.
78
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,369
I do, Superman.
79
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,108
Meep, meep!
80
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,113
Meep! Meep!
81
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,415
Meep! Meep!
82
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,126
Meep! Meep!
83
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:36,772
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
84
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:38,140
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
85
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,775
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
86
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,143
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
87
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,212
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
88
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:49,774
You cannot stop me,
Earthworm Jim, for I am you.
89
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:52,944
We are indeed evenly
matched, Evil Jim.
90
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:56,448
I cannot defeat you, but
do you know what can?
91
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,752
Ha-ha! Two earthworm Jims,
92
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,655
Did you think getting cut in
half would make two of you?
93
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,957
That's a myth.
- Wait, seriously?
94
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,258
Aw, man.
95
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:10,128
Ow.
96
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,729
Stupid.
97
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,231
I ain't fighting nobody.
98
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,500
I ain't got no head!
99
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:16,301
Whoop, whoop, whoop,
whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
100
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,636
That makes zero sense.
101
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,605
I'm so glad we're
all able to attend
102
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,907
this book-club
retreat in the woods.
103
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,342
For this month's
book, I thought,
104
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:27,278
"Why not pick something
related to our surroundings?"
105
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:30,515
I found this in the attic.
106
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,586
Well, that was fun.
107
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,454
Next month, we're reading
"Eat, Pray, Love."
108
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:40,758
So, what brings you into
the podiatrist today?
109
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,994
- This has been happening.
- You think that's weird?
110
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,796
Oh, ah! Look, it went back.
111
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,831
Oh, my God! Your thumb!
112
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,833
Announcer: And now
back to Wishbone.
113
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,635
Thanks for coming over, Shelby.
114
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,704
Looks like Joe has
his first crush.
115
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,606
Reminds me of one of
my favorite books,
116
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,474
which is why it's
this week's story,
117
00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:59,978
"Fifty Shades of Grey."
118
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,546
This is Christian Grey.
119
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,948
He likes to hurt people
he's attracted to.
120
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,317
You're a very bad
dog.
121
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:08,486
And this works for me,
too, for some reason,
122
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:10,154
probably because
my mom was a bitch.
123
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:11,890
Humiliate me, master.
124
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,659
Let's do it on the
furniture human-style.
125
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:16,828
Oh, God, that's
against the rules.
126
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:19,030
And then I want you
to sniff my butthole.
127
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,735
Mm, like someone brought
lipstick to the party.
128
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,803
Oh,
I don't hate that.
129
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,206
Why does
your dog have a boner?
130
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,073
Let him live.
131
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,517
Nice going, Diana.
132
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,620
You just had to take
the invisible jet.
133
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:47,058
We're going to
need a bigger boat.
134
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,827
Oh, you are? Why,
because I'm so fat?
135
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,596
That is not what I meant.
136
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:54,599
That is absolu... I'm
shark progressive, okay?
137
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,201
Oh, I know what you meant.
138
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,871
Asshole.
139
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,739
Give us your most
expensive drink.
140
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,208
My best friend is
getting married.
141
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:05,777
There you go. Here's,
uh, something.
142
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,946
I am terribly sorry
I was delayed,
143
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,858
but if we want to make
our dinner reservation...
144
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,016
We don't serve her kind in here.
145
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,686
That's a weird line
in the racism sand.
146
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,221
C4-T3 is my droid of honor.
147
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:18,423
No droids.
148
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,202
Well does that mean your
blender has to leave?
149
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,726
Hey, everybody!
150
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,262
This guy's blender is
breaking the rules!
151
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,064
Don't bring Blendy into this.
152
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:29,567
Either the droid leaves,
or you don't drink tonight.
153
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:33,738
Just fuck all of you.
154
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:35,573
Oh, my God!
155
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:38,610
Does this place due karaoke?
156
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:40,545
Ugh! If you jumbo
shrimps are done
157
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,546
sucking off your clarinets,
158
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,149
can we do some fucking karaoke?
159
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,333
Woman: You have two
mouths and four throats!
160
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,513
The bakery was out
of human penises,
161
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:19,117
so we got Gungan,
Zabrak, and Mon Calamari.
162
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,519
It's a tart.
163
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,921
Excuse me, can you
take a hologram us?
164
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,324
Gems down, bitches.
165
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,992
Can you get a higher angle?
166
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:30,362
- Ooh!
167
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,665
Ugh, I look like such a Hutt.
168
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,101
- Priya Kellsarian?
- Yeah?
169
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,704
Did I do something wrong?
- Affirmative.
170
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,806
You almost had a
bachelorette party
171
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,776
without a stripper.
172
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,311
Nice blaster! Yeah!