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This programme contains
very strong language

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00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,440
PLATFORM PA ANNOUNCEMENTS

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Destiny.

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The thing that I believed

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predetermined all
great love stories.

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The idea that the
romantic events

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of our lives were scripted
in stardust, long, long ago.

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I just had to follow
the signs to find them.

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This particular tale of
destiny begins on a train.

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The year is 2012. According
to the Mayan calendar,

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the world is about to end.

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Which would have been a real
bummer, because I was 24,

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and my adult life had
just finally begun.

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Please, can I get a
mini bottle of red wine,

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and a mini bottle of white wine,
and a mini bottle of Jameson's?

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Yeah, that card's been declined.

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Definitely not.

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Definitely has.

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I checked my online
banking at the station.

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There was loads of
money in my account,

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and by loads I mean £32.74.

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It says you have
insufficient funds.

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I'll get it.

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No, no. Don't worry.

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So that same order, again,

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for Shane MacGowan. And
just a beer for me, please.

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I was doing market research.

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And you sit in a
room with, like,

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30 other people and you
answer questions for

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the car company about
whether you'd drive the car.

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And where was
today's? Bristol.

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And would you drive the car?

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Dunno. Can't drive!

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This obviously isn't my
long-term plan. I want to write.

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So what do you want to write?

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Really, really good
stories. And comments.

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Comments?

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Yeah, I want to be amazing
at comments and witticisms.

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I want all my comments
to be published in one

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of those cheap books
you pick up by the till.

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Until then, I'll basically
do anything other than murder

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for 40 quid, cash in
hand. Is that bad?

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How old are you?

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24.

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I'd say you've got two more years
left of getting away with it.

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How old are you?

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27. Just out of the middle.

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How was it?

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Well, I think
Larkin got it right.

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What did he say?

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I feared these present
years. The middle twenties.

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When deftness disappears.

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And each event is freighted with

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a source-encrusting doubt
and turned to drought.

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Fit.

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What's your favourite band?

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Come on. You're better
than this. What?

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Asking me what my
favourite things are.

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Like you're a teenage girl
filling out a Myspace profile.

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That is incredibly patronising.

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I think you like being
patronised by men.

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Gives you something
to push against,

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like you're a shrew to
be tamed, or something.

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I don't want to be tamed.

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You just want our attention.

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Ladies and gentlemen,

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we will shortly be arriving
into London Paddington,

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that's our final stop.

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It was really
lovely to meet you.

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Street. "Street?"

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I know. It's where
I was conceived.

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No way.

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It's true.

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God. I'm just trying

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to think what my parents would have
called me if I was named after where

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I was conceived.
Pocket-sprung mattress.

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I've always wondered,

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with people who are
named after places, like,

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whether they ever
actually live in the...

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I've been waiting to
do that since Slough.

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"Pocket-sprung mattress?"

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Are you getting the Tube?

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Nah. I'll walk home.

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Really committed to this
troubadour shit, aren't you?

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Fucking works,
though, doesn't it?

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Let's not give each
other our numbers.

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Why?

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Because I think if we're
meant to meet again,

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we'll meet again. Leave
it to kismet. Destiny.

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You must be so, so bored.

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I'm Maggie.

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That boy, that kiss,

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that train journey would begin

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a series of events that
would change my life.

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I don't know what my 20s
would've been like if

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I hadn't got on that exact train

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and sat in that exact carriage.

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I can only tell you everything
that happened after I did.

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This is a story of great love.

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But it's not the
one you think it is.

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Maggs? Yeah.

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You ready? Yeah.

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But first I need to ask you
a really serious question.

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What is it?

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Is it hard,

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being the prettiest girl
in the entire world?

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Seriously, we're
leaving in five minutes.

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OK, well, that's exactly how
long it takes me to get ready.

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Don't even try that, I've
known you your whole life.

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Nell, Amara. Wine.

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Why is no-one ready?

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Just sorted out the feng
shui in my room. Had a nap.

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Wrote my will.

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Oh, what's it say? Just
"will", at the moment.

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OK, can we stop writing
wills and having naps?

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It's meant to be ladies' night.

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I didn't agree to ladies'
night. Yeah, it's ladies' night!

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Yes, mate!

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I propose a toast. Ooh,
Maggs, in your will,

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can I have your fake
Prada sunglasses?

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Nell.

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To the first Friday night
in our first London house!

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And to many more Friday nights.

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Look at all those Friday
nights piled up just for us.

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How are we going to
get through them all?

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OK, I really do think that
we should leave by eight.

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Oh, Birdy, you need to
relax. You're just...

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You are so rushed off your feet.

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Aww... Rushed off your feet!

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I've told you before, I don't like
it. I've told you I don't like it!

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I've said a thousand
times, I don't like it!

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Well, then, stop being
the littlest one, then!

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OK, so I think if we start
at the Chalk Farm end

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and make our way up to the
Mornington Crescent end.

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I think we don't make a plan.

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All the best nights happen
when we just follow our noses.

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Agreed.

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Oh, have you heard from
that guy on the train?

139
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No. But I didn't think I would.

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We didn't exchange
surnames or numbers.

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Thought it would be romantic.

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Definitely your idea, not his.

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If I met a man I fancied,
who fancied me back,

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I'd make him write his number on
my face with a permanent marker.

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Oh, don't be so
dramatic, Birdy. Anyway,

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there we are, met
the boy of my dreams,

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probably the only boy I could
see myself ever truly loving

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and now he's gone.

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Oh, come on, babe.
This isn't like you.

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We've just arrived in London.
City of possibilities!

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There will be others.

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Not like this one.

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I've put a winning lottery
ticket in the washing machine.

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Well done for not being dramatic
about it, though. Thanks.

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Thank you. And cheers.

156
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Cheers!

157
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Let's play Never
Have I Ever. Yes. No.

158
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This game is only enjoyable
for half of the group.

159
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And it's not the half who
have had two sexual partners.

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Or have never taken drugs.

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So whatever you want
to say, just say it.

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Amara, you had a
threesome in Malaga.

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Maggie, you wanked
at the back of

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the coach on a school trip to
Stonehenge. Yeah, game done.

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Ta-da!

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Do you think that's
enough? Yeah.

167
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Oh, God, the Feds. Hide it in
your pocket. No. I'm a teacher.

168
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Guys? Oh,
for God's sake.

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Birdy, get in.

170
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OK. If I took it... YES!

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If I took it, are
you sure I won't die?

172
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You are so suburban, Birdy,
you're not going to die.

173
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No-one has ever died from
taking cocaine. Not true.

174
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It is completely harmless,

175
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it's a very sort of two
point four children,

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L-shaped sofa type of drug.
You just dip in and out of it,

177
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like, erm, like... Hummus?

178
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Genius girl. Hummus. Exactly.

179
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I don't think I will. Why?

180
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I don't want to get dizzy.

181
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Do you want to die with
some stories or do you

182
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want to sleepwalk
into your own grave?

183
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,839
Feel like I'm in Trainspotting.

184
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You're literally wearing
a dress from Karen Millen.

185
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Bottle of your cheapest white,
please. And four glasses.

186
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Cheers, mate.

187
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Hey!

188
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,679
Hey.

189
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Do you recognise me?

190
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,239
Yeah. Were you on one

191
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,679
of those early series
of Big Brother?

192
00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,559
No... No. I'm Maggie.

193
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,519
We met on a train? A
couple of weeks ago?

194
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:06,359
Oh, yeah. Sorry. My
brain's fried. How are you?

195
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,160
I'm good.

196
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,799
Who are you here with?

197
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,279
Oh, my friends. My housemates.

198
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,639
We've just moved in
together down the road.

199
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,959
Interesting. What?

200
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,559
Moving to Camden in 2012.

201
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,919
Whoever you're looking
for has already left.

202
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,239
What are you doing here, then?

203
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,759
Gig.

204
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,359
How did it go?

205
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,439
Fine. I mean, everyone
talked through the whole set,

206
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,839
all the white people
clapped on the on-beat,

207
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:37,439
just another Friday night in
a completely forgettable band.

208
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,839
We're, er, we're
actually heading off now.

209
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:46,039
OK. It was really
nice to see you again.

210
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,800
Yeah, you too.

211
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,999
I could give you my
number this time?

212
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,639
Do I not have your number?

213
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,400
No, we decided...

214
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,000
I don't think we
exchanged numbers.

215
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:07,759
What is this?

216
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,279
Oh, yeah. I hate smartphones.

217
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,079
You know, I read recently that our
brains are actually changing shape

218
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,679
because of how much time
we're spending online.

219
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,679
Yeah, soon, we won't be able
to concentrate on anything.

220
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:22,919
Reading a novel will be as niche
an activity as, like, bell-ringing.

221
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,520
Dark.

222
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,680
Who was that?!

223
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,559
I am literally going
to shit myself.

224
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,559
I'm hoping this is another
example of your misuse of

225
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:50,959
the word literally.

226
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,279
That... was the
fucking... train guy.

227
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,559
No.

228
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,239
Yes. See, Nell? Destiny.

229
00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,279
Oh, my God, he's even more
beautiful than I remembered.

230
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,959
What's his name? Street.

231
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,399
He was named after where he was
conceived. Oh, have a day off.

232
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,399
Sorry, Nell. I'm here for
it. I am backing our girl,

233
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,799
this is fate. It is
too weird not to be.

234
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,079
And, and he uses an old Nokia

235
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,719
because he believes smartphones
are bad for our brains.

236
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,479
It's like he's some
kind of... Cunt?

237
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,359
..philosopher?

238
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,799
I can't believe I saw
him. Can you believe it?

239
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,839
I cannot believe
it. Where's Birdy?

240
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:29,999
Oh, God knows.

241
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,799
I now get why she
doesn't take drugs.

242
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,719
It's been like
watching Elmo get high.

243
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,199
Maggs, Maggs,

244
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,320
come here, I want you
to meet these guys.

245
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,399
This is my best friend, Maggie,
she's literally amazing,

246
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,079
we've known each
other since school.

247
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,999
The other two are
great and we love them,

248
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,639
but this girl is my
childhood sweetheart.

249
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,079
Do you ever have it where, like,

250
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,239
you want to invent a
new version of marriage,

251
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,959
it's just for two people who
promise to love each other forever,

252
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,399
they don't have sex or anything,
they just hang out loads?

253
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,839
Yes. But there's still,
like, a formal commitment.

254
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,079
I totally agree. Like, shouldn't
there be a word for it?

255
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,800
Erm... Friendship?

256
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,960
Yes!

257
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,159
♪ Yes

258
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,040
♪ Rizzle kicks... ♪

259
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,560
Four beers, please.

260
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,159
I want to roll down the hill!

261
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,080
YES!

262
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,199
Come on!

263
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,520
No, I don't want to get dizzy.

264
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,919
Come on, come on!

265
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,199
Can I sit here?

266
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,800
Yeah.

267
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,399
I like your key-rings.

268
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,840
Thanks.

269
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,639
How many are on there?

270
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,999
13. I like your braces.
What colour are they?

271
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,159
Glitter magenta.

272
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,959
I'm Maggie.

273
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,280
I'm Birdy.

274
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:09,039
You know, it shows
how much I love you,

275
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,799
that I don't mind you
doing this every morning.

276
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,679
I barely like doing this with
someone I'm sleeping with.

277
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,120
I know.

278
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,839
I spent all my money again
last night, buying drinks for

279
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,799
a load of people I'll
never, ever see again.

280
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,159
Why did you buy them drinks?

281
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:32,399
To make them like me
without having to talk.

282
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,439
I'll lend you.

283
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,560
You can't lend me
any more money.

284
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,519
I'll just go back to the bank

285
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,399
and see if they'll let
me extend my overdraft.

286
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,159
I thought you already went
last week and they said no.

287
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,079
I'll try again.

288
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,440
I don't think it
works like a tombola.

289
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,840
I'm such an idiot.

290
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,600
No you're not. You're so fun.

291
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,879
I'm a tragic drunk who
buys all the rounds.

292
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,999
You think being fun is easy

293
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,279
because it comes so
naturally to you.

294
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,919
But being fun is not easy.

295
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,559
You're someone who actually
likes skinny dipping

296
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:18,439
and wearing bandannas and
playing snooker at the pub

297
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,119
and putting hot
sauce on everything.

298
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,439
You know, that's special.

299
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:28,440
Maybe the cost of being that
special is always being overdrawn.

300
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,799
I just don't think
that's right at all.

301
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:40,159
It is. I've spent years trying
to learn how to be fun, from you.

302
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,920
You are fun.

303
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,039
Like when?

304
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:49,479
Like when you bought those...

305
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:54,999
..pink, neon, flared
combat trousers with

306
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,439
the strings hanging off!

307
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,359
Or when you went on that

308
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:02,239
Thorpe Park
roller-coaster four times.

309
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,439
You'd come off, sip of water,
straight back in the queue.

310
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,120
It was incredible.

311
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:13,999
So I've been fun,
like, twice in my life.

312
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,399
But that's OK.

313
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,639
I'm much better at things
like judging how long

314
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,199
a car journey is going to take.

315
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,320
Hmm. You are really
good at that.

316
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,719
I love you.

317
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:30,480
Oh, I love you. Oh, I
wish you'd wear pants.

318
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,919
How are you feeling?

319
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,199
Bad.

320
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,079
I cannot believe you guys
did poppers last night.

321
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,759
We live in Camden now.

322
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,799
Doing poppers in Camden is like
eating a croissant in Paris.

323
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,039
I'll get it.

324
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,719
That'll be your boyfriend, Nell.

325
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,679
Hi, Neil. Don't eat that
straight from the jar.

326
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:55,999
Hi, guys.

327
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,039
Oh, my gosh.

328
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,679
YES! We've got a telly.

329
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,919
My sister had a spare
one in her attic.

330
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,799
Thanks, babe.

331
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,999
Right, there is going to
be a zero-tolerance policy

332
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,799
for anyone taking those batteries out of
the remote for their personal devices.

333
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,079
Unless it's an emergency.

334
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,519
What personal devices?

335
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,800
Vibrators and dillies.

336
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,599
Anyway, thanks, man.

337
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,720
Yeah. No worries.

338
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,119
How's finance going?

339
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,439
Law.

340
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,600
- And Man U?
- Arsenal.

341
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,319
We've got to go to work.

342
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,799
See you tonight.

343
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,119
Bye. Bye.

344
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:39,320
Thanks again for
the telly, Neil.

345
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,480
Hello. Hi.

346
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,319
I wonder if our degrees are
ever going to come good.

347
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,879
I just don't think
a 2:1 in English

348
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,719
and Drama says anything to
an employer other than...

349
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,279
.."I'm completely average.

350
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,479
"I have got a Breakfast At Tiffany's poster
on my wall and I can't think for myself."

351
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,879
I found my degree certificate
while I was unpacking.

352
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,279
Used it as a coaster.

353
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,559
Oh, my God, it's Street.

354
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:17,959
What did he say?

355
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,239
"Hey, sugar,

356
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,879
"come round mine tonight
to listen to some albums."

357
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:26,399
Hmm. I wonder how many "albums"
you're going to "listen to".

358
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,919
I think I shouldn't have sex
with him. What do you think?

359
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,639
I've never even had a boyfriend,
don't look to me for advice.

360
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,880
That'll do, pig, that'll do.

361
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,159
Kids eat for half-price today.

362
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:41,479
Look, you have to get over this
never-having-a-boyfriend stuff.

363
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:45,039
You have to admit, it's weird.
I'm a quarter of a century old.

364
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,599
Look, we're in this grubby,

365
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,799
golden phase of life
that is so short-lived.

366
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,399
We should just enjoy it

367
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,119
for what it is. We
need experiences.

368
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:57,199
Having a relationship is
an experience. Isn't it?

369
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,119
What are you going to wear?

370
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:03,079
I don't know, something
quite understated, I think.

371
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,079
He's so cool and I'm so not

372
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,879
and he needs to not know
what a try-hard I am.

373
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,040
Femme Fatale by
the Velvet Underground

374
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,960
♪ Here she comes

375
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,840
♪ You better watch your step

376
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:33,119
♪ She's going to break
your heart in two

377
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,880
♪ It's true... ♪

378
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,919
That is a good Nico impression.

379
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,280
I told you.

380
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,119
You were really lame
at school, weren't you?

381
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:59,279
You were, weren't you?

382
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:03,639
You were a loser who wore
rockabilly dresses and ate

383
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,079
Toffee Crisps in
the school toilets.

384
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,200
How insightful.

385
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,999
Do the Nico voice again.

386
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,079
No.

387
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,560
Do it, Big Bird.

388
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,959
Hello. Oh, God, that's
my flatmate, Nathan.

389
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,679
He's not actually my mate.
He works in insurance.

390
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,160
I found him on Gumtree.

391
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,319
All right?

392
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,479
All right? Nathan,
this is Maggie.

393
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,240
Hi. Hi!

394
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:44,199
Er, don't worry, I'll
be out of your way soon,

395
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,439
I'm just getting changed,
then going to the gym.

396
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,519
Nathan's marathon training.

397
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,799
Wow, amazing. How's it going?

398
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,999
Er, pretty bad, to be honest.
Yeah, painful and boring.

399
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,759
Why are you doing it?

400
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,479
I don't know. Something to do.

401
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,439
Nathan needs to have sex.
And then he'll stop...

402
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,279
What's that word you

403
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,639
and your mates use
at the gym? Grating.

404
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,199
Shredding. Have you
got any single friends?

405
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:10,959
Er, that isn't necessary.

406
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,679
Yeah, loads. Maybe I'll
give you Birdy's number.

407
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,199
Was she there the other night?

408
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,239
Yeah, she's the little
one with dark hair.

409
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,999
She's the best
person in the world.

410
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,439
Who were those other two?

411
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,599
Nell and Amara. We
met them at uni.

412
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,119
Nell's got a boyfriend, though,

413
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:26,759
and Amara only ever seems

414
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,239
to date spoken-word performers
or Southern Europeans.

415
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,959
That doesn't seem to
be your immediate vibe,

416
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,039
if you don't mind me saying.

417
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,239
Birdy it is. Thanks, mate.

418
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:40,680
I'll give you her number.

419
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:51,879
Cheers.

420
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,159
Er, well, you guys
have a good evening.

421
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,319
Yo, Tank?

422
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:01,599
Tank?

423
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,519
Yeah, yeah, I know, mate,
I'll be there shortly.

424
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,439
Well, just try to grab

425
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,199
the dumbbells before
anyone else does.

426
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,839
Do you see what I mean?
Yeah. But he's nice, though.

427
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,479
Yeah, but just the
kind of guy who's

428
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,159
a bit too into barbecued food,
you know? Hmm. Or who says...

429
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,439
"Brazilian women are THE
sexiest women on Earth."

430
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:22,880
Exactly.

431
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,599
I'm having people
over on Friday night.

432
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,479
You know, play some
music. Get fucked up.

433
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,599
Do you want to come?
You could do your Nico.

434
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,040
Maybe.

435
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,480
We're out of wine. Whisky?

436
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:53,039
Erm, I think I'm actually
going to head off.

437
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,359
Oh.

438
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:57,160
Yeah, just... work and
stuff to do tomorrow.

439
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,120
Bye, Street.

440
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:07,999
One more time, one more time.

441
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,519
No... No. I can't rap.

442
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:10,759
Stop calling it a "rap".

443
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,439
You're really good. Come on.

444
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,599
♪ I woke up today

445
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:22,879
♪ With this feelin' that
better things are comin' my way

446
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,879
♪ And if the sunshine has
meaning Telling me not

447
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,039
♪ To let things get in my way

448
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:34,239
♪ When the rainy days are dyin'
Got to keep on, keep on tryin'

449
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,199
♪ All the bees and
birds are flyin'

450
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,159
♪ Aaaaah

451
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,759
♪ Never let go,
got to hold on and

452
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:43,159
♪ Nonstop till the break of dawn
and keep movin', don't stop rockin'

453
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,839
♪ Aaaaah

454
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,999
♪ Get on up when you're down,
baby Take a good look around... ♪

455
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,399
Hi!

456
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:51,719
Thank God.

457
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,599
Shoes off. How'd it go?

458
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:59,279
Yeah. Good, I think.
Playing the long game.

459
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,319
Kiss? Yeah. Nothing
else, though.

460
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,039
I'm, erm, eking it out.

461
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:08,119
Don't want to use up all of his
attention too quickly, you know?

462
00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:10,119
When's his birthday? Dunno.

463
00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:11,679
I can find out. What's his name?

464
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,119
Baxter. Street Baxter.

465
00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:16,719
Wait, what do you mean,
"use up his attention"?

466
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,359
He's either into
you or he isn't.

467
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:21,119
Hmm. I think he probably has
loads of other girls on the go.

468
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,599
So there's an allotted amount
of attention for each of us.

469
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,959
That is so rank.

470
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,639
Gemini. Knew it.

471
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,839
I'm the one in control,
though. I left.

472
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,679
So now I'm going to go upstairs,
watch videos of his band on YouTube,

473
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,119
and wank furiously.

474
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:35,079
It's all very
feminist-y, don't worry.

475
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,519
OK, we need to talk
about that word again.

476
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,599
I've got your star sign
compatibility trial here.

477
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,079
Do you want me to email it
to you? Yeah, obviously.

478
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,399
Done.

479
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:44,959
Oh, what if he
thinks I'm frigid?

480
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,920
I wish someone
thought I was frigid.

481
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,440
Things can only get batter
at Amy Lou's Pancake House.

482
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,279
Oh, unknown number.

483
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,799
Oh, I got that one.

484
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,119
Chicken dippers free
with every large pizza.

485
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,479
Weird, it's from some
guy called Nathan.

486
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,879
No way! What?

487
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,319
That's Street's flatmate.

488
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,239
He asked me if I had
any single friends,

489
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:23,559
so I gave him your number.
That is so random he text you.

490
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,519
Such a 30-year-old thing to do.

491
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,439
Well, it's not "random" at
all if you gave him my number.

492
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,359
What's he like?

493
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,519
Fine. I only chatted
to him briefly,

494
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,199
but he seems completely
average and normal.

495
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,479
Surely that's
good? Not really.

496
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,559
You know when you need to
buy something practical

497
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:41,839
but you don't want to
spend too much money on it?

498
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,599
He's like that. He's like a
light bulb or a plug adaptor.

499
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,999
So, is he tall? Is he short?
I don't know, what does he do?

500
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,519
He is tall. Plain of face,

501
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,560
sort of a
potato-smiley-shaped face.

502
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,279
I think Street said he
worked in recruitment.

503
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,959
Or energy. Some sort of
boring abstract noun.

504
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,199
He sounds nice.

505
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,279
Yeah, but you could
do loads better.

506
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,119
I don't think I'm as fussy
as you. I'm not fussy.

507
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,759
Maybe I'll end up
with a plug adaptor.

508
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,279
I hate when you say
stuff like that.

509
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,079
You're not going to end
up with a plug adaptor,

510
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,279
you're going to end up
with someone dazzling.

511
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,959
I don't want to end up
with someone "dazzling",

512
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,279
I feel tired even
saying that word.

513
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,719
You make it sound like we all
need to go out with Elton John.

514
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,439
Fine, go for it.

515
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:25,039
Seems like a really
unstressful shag.

516
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,559
Shall I reply now?

517
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,399
Or is that too soon?
Oh, I'm schwitzing.

518
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,839
And what will you say?

519
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:36,359
Erm... "Dinner sounds lovely."

520
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:40,759
He asked you for
dinner? That's mental.

521
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,319
You're not going to agree to that,
are you? What are you saying?

522
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,079
Stop being so nosy.

523
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,039
Let me see what
you're going to say.

524
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,279
Give it back. Give
it back, Maggs.

525
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,079
No, no. Give it back!

526
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,839
Ah!

527
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:58,199
Oh, Birdy.

528
00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,639
Maggs. Can you help me? Quickly.

529
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,840
Grab my arm. Please. Can
you grab my both my arms?

530
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:06,799
How long has she
been getting ready?

531
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,400
Three and a half hours.

532
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:15,479
Birdy?

533
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:16,920
I'm fine.

534
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:19,400
I'm coming in.

535
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:23,959
I'm not fine, I'm freaking out.

536
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,839
OK. Talk to me.

537
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,279
I'm just so nervous about
what we're going to talk about

538
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:29,799
and whether I hug him hello.

539
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,919
And what... what do I wear?

540
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,039
OK, you need to
chill out. I know.

541
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,519
First things first. I
know you're stressed.

542
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,879
But what is the one thing
you and I have always sworn

543
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,200
to each other? Always,
no matter what?

544
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,999
That we would never wear
a waist belt with a dress.

545
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,319
Why?

546
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,880
Because it doesn't nip in
your waist, that's a lie.

547
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,600
OK. Already much better.

548
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,879
What's this? It's
a list of things

549
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,159
to talk about in case there
are any awkward silences.

550
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:06,959
Council tax? Yeah.

551
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,479
Russell Brand? Maggie!

552
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,200
OK. Listen to me. Listen to me.

553
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,159
You don't know this, and
perhaps you'll never know this

554
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:21,759
and that is why you're so
adorable. You are the sweetest,

555
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:25,439
funniest person in any room.

556
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:26,999
You on bad form is

557
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:31,519
a level of charm that most people
don't get to in their entire life.

558
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:35,760
OK... OK. Thanks.

559
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,119
You look lush.
Where's he taking you?

560
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,559
Oh. Italian restaurant.

561
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,439
Can you believe this is the
first date I've ever been on?

562
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:45,879
Happy date-mitzvah.

563
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,559
Oh, thanks, Nell.

564
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:49,679
Do you know, I've got a
belt that would look great

565
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,599
with that dress, if
you want to borrow it?

566
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,239
You know, I'm just...
I'm just going to go.

567
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,920
Don't overthink it. Have fun.

568
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,359
Oh, erm, I've
washed your whites,

569
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,159
they're hanging on
the rack with mine.

570
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:04,919
Do you still not know how
to do your own laundry?

571
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,039
Oh, leave her.

572
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,119
She does a loads for
me. And I like doing it.

573
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:12,399
She likes doing it. You
two are so co-dependent.

574
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:13,600
Bye.

575
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,759
I'm sorry, but I think
it's very creepy for him

576
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,159
to take her to a restaurant
on their first date.

577
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,159
And I don't think we should
be going on first dates in

578
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,559
the first month we
move in together.

579
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:31,119
This is meant to be cordoned off
as sacred housemate bonding time.

580
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,439
Erm, you went on a
first date last week.

581
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,119
Oh, Nell's in one of her
rational Scottish moods.

582
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,639
What are your plans tonight?

583
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,319
Erm, don't know. What are
you doing, date night?

584
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,599
Yeah. Looking forward to it?

585
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,519
I'm looking forward to tomorrow
morning when it's done.

586
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,479
You know? When you don't have
to think about it for a while.

587
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,999
Like putting out the
bins. Where's Amara?

588
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,159
She's out with some of
her work lot, I think.

589
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:53,519
Ah. See you in the morning.

590
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,280
Have fun!

591
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,440
Nathan?

592
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:46,199
Birdy.

593
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:47,799
Hello.

594
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,679
Hey. Oh...!

595
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,159
Sorry, I never know
whether to do one or two.

596
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:55,079
No, neither do I. I think
I messed that up so,

597
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,839
anyway, sit down. I'll get
that for you. Thank you.

598
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,519
You're welcome.

599
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,960
Thank you.

600
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,880
Hi, this is Street, I'm
not here. Leave a message.

601
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,480
Fuck it!

602
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:12,759
♪ Oh, ee-oh, am I just
about to lose my mind?

603
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,919
♪ It was fun for five minutes

604
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,759
♪ But I preferred it
when I had less time

605
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:23,120
♪ And I'm sick of sensation... ♪

606
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,599
Hey. Hi. How are you?

607
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:49,119
All good, what's up?

608
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,999
Hmm, I just thought I'd drop in.
I'm on a night out in East London.

609
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,319
Oh, yeah, don't
worry about that.

610
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:57,639
What do you mean?

611
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:01,039
I'm just kind of tied up,
so don't worry about coming.

612
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,159
Oh. I mean, you could
come when everyone's gone.

613
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,319
But I don't know
when they'll be gone.

614
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,239
Like, sometime after
midnight, maybe?

615
00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:10,759
So... I'm your
dial-a-pussy, now.

616
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,159
Maggie, you called me.

617
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,959
I don't know what kind of
girl you think I am, Street.

618
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,479
But I'm not

619
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,599
going to feel grateful
that some musician wants

620
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,599
to booty-call me once his
cool friends have left.

621
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:24,999
Who, I can already tell,

622
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,119
have some very dumb
ideas about Neil Young.

623
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,959
Who sings like an old...
feeble... nan! Maggie...

624
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:33,119
I'm not that kind of girl.
So goodbye and fuck you!

625
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:34,760
OK, baby.

626
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,159
Oh, erm...

627
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,359
Oh, no, no. Please, I'd
love to. If you don't mind.

628
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,879
No, no, I don't mind.

629
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,919
Erm, that's really
nice of you, thank you.

630
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,080
You are welcome. It's
my pleasure. Thank you.

631
00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:12,919
We could, erm, go to
a bar if you fancy it,

632
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,399
or... we could go back
to mine for a drink.

633
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,079
If that... If that's
not too forward.

634
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:20,279
Yeah. I... I've got leg
day at 6am tomorrow.

635
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,640
Oh. Yeah.

636
00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:27,279
Fuck it. Yeah, fuck
it! Who needs legs?!

637
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,599
Yeah, let's get legless!

638
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,360
Don't worry about that.

639
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,879
Leave me a message and
I'll get back to you. Bye.

640
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,959
Hey, Bird. Terrible evening. Erm, I
got to the point where I'm telling

641
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,479
a man what "kind of girl"
I may or may not be,

642
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,879
which, as we know,
is a bad sign.

643
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,879
Erm, if on the off-chance
your date isn't going well,

644
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,119
please come drink with
me when you're done.

645
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,680
Don't care how late
it is. Love you.

646
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,960
Hi, you're through
to Birdy's phone.

647
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,000
Oh, fuck's sake!

648
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:10,479
Birdy? Oh, fuck. Jesus Christ.

649
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,599
Hi.

650
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,839
What are you doing?
I came in to say...

651
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,079
Why do you have so
many tiny towels?!

652
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,280
They're not tiny towels,
they're face cloths.

653
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,759
I'm so sorry, I didn't realise.

654
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,559
It's OK, it's OK.

655
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,199
Date went well?

656
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:29,599
Yeah.

657
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,399
Sex? Sh.

658
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,119
Finger bang? Blowie?
I'll tell you tomorrow.

659
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,559
Breakfast?

660
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:39,280
We're actually going for brunch
tomorrow, I think. OK, wow.

661
00:41:40,720 --> 00:41:44,719
Yeah. Yeah, this place by the
canal he wants to take me to.

662
00:41:44,720 --> 00:41:47,039
Apparently, they do a really,
really good Bloody Mary.

663
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,879
No worries. Movie
night tomorrow night?

664
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:53,599
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Yeah. Are you OK?

665
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,400
Do you guys want a drink?

666
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,279
I think
I should probably...

667
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:01,799
Of course. Of course.

668
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,720
Night. Night.

669
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:28,360
♪ I got brass in pocket

670
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:34,239
♪ I got bottle, I'm gonna use it

671
00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:38,439
♪ Intention, I feel inventive

672
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:42,800
♪ Gonna make you, make
you, make you notice

673
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:47,680
♪ Got motion, restrained emotion

674
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:53,559
♪ Been driving, Detroit leaning

675
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:58,719
♪ No reason, just
seems so pleasing

676
00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:02,520
♪ Gonna make you, make
you, make you notice

677
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,119
♪ Gonna use my arms

678
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,319
♪ Gonna use my legs

679
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,799
♪ Gonna use my style

680
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,799
♪ Gonna use my sidestep

681
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:14,439
♪ Gonna use my fingers... ♪

682
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:16,640
All right, I'm coming.

683
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,639
♪ Cos I'm gonna make you see

684
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:29,560
♪ There's nobody else
here No-one like me

685
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:35,879
♪ I'm special, so special

686
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:39,679
♪ I got have some
of your attention

687
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,640
♪ Give it to me... ♪