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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Mary Cooper...
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I want to sex you up.
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I have good news.
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Good. I could use it.
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I got a job at
the bowling alley.
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Working with Brenda?
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Every day.
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I am so sorry about today.
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I just hate to see you walk away
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from the Lord. Feels like
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He's walking away from me.
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What is that?
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Hamburger Helper.
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It's official. We're poor.
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We're not poor.
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There's hamburger in there.
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There's hamburger
in there, right?
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I like Hamburger Helper.
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It really does help your
hamburger make a great meal.
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Well, it's a good
thing you like it,
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'cause you're definitely poor.
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Like us. We're fine.
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Actually... Just eat.
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Do we still say grace? Why not?
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Mom's been taking a
break from the church. Mom?
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Well, I hadn't really
thought about it.
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We can if you want to.
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Let's not.
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As meaningless as it is,
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I do find the ritual comforting.
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Well, somebody make a
decision. That slop's getting cold.
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No, it's good cold or
hot, like Grape-Nuts.
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Ooh, can I say it?
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Sure.
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Bless us Lord for the food
we are about to receive
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and bless the hands
that prepared it.
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And let me have a good
hair day for school pictures
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later this week.
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Let's see, what
else do I want... Wrap it up.
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And please let my
dad find a full-time job
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before we lose cable. Amen.
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Amen.
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So...
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how's it going with this whole
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no church thing?
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It's a little weird,
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but I'm figuring it out.
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Think you might go back?
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I don't know yet.
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Maybe find a different church?
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I don't know, George.
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I'm gonna get a beer.
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You, uh,
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care to join me
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like the good ol' days?
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Just 'cause I'm
not going to church
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doesn't mean I'm
suddenly a drinker.
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Okay. Well, then I guess
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me and my friends
will say goodnight.
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We need to talk.
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About what?
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You do their taxes.
How bad off are we?
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Based on their part-time income,
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we're going to run out of
money by the end of the year.
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Before or after
Christmas? Before.
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Not what I wanted to hear.
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Anything we can do to help?
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Perhaps we could sell our stuff.
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But I like my stuff.
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I like my stuff, too.
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Let's keep thinking.
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Hello?
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Connie. Grant Linkletter.
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Hello, Grant.
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What can I do for you?
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Well, I looked at my calendar
and realized it's been six weeks
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since I last asked you out, so
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I thought I'd give
it another shot.
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You ask me out every six weeks?
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Used to be nine, but we're
not getting any younger.
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I'll tell you what...
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fine.
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Really? Why not?
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Excellent.
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But I want to be clear,
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this is just one of
those... Whatcha call it...
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Uh, platonic things.
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We're just having dinner.
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I'll take it.
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Now, would you
prefer a restaurant
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or some good home cooking?
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I make seven kinds of soup.
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I think I'll just stick
with a restaurant.
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Fair enough,
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but one day,
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you'll try my mushroom barley,
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and your taste buds will swoon.
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Good night, Grant.
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The secret is how long
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I cook the onions.
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Chicken coop, now.
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Hi.
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What are we doing?
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What are you doing?
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What, you hired Mary
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to work at the bowling alley.
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She needed a job.
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I was being nice.
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Well, you don't
think it's a little weird?
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This right here...
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It's all weird.
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Are you drunk?
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Not nearly enough.
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You and Mary working together
is a bad idea considering...
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you know, you and me.
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We haven't done
anything, George.
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But there was considering.
You know there was.
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What do you want me to do?
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You want me to fire her?
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No, no. That'd be weird.
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Which is exactly where
we started. Good night.
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You understand what I'm saying.
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Okay, so what are you good at?
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I'm popular.
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That is not a skill.
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You can't do it. Fine.
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Oh, you could go on Jeopardy!
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Never. I don't like answers
in the form of questions.
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I like my answers in the form
of answers, and my questions
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in the form of
questions, thank you.
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Ooh, perhaps I
could sell story ideas
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to TV shows like Star Trek.
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Do you really think
they'd listen to a kid?
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My voice has gotten deeper.
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The other day, I
answered the phone,
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and they didn't
mistake me for Mom.
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Star Trek's not gonna
buy your stupid ideas.
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We'll see about that.
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I have one where the Enterprise
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falls into a time tunnel,
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and Worf becomes a Worf
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from 12 minutes in the future.
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We could let people
punch you for a buck.
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No, all our profit would
just go to medical expenses.
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Hey, Brenda, I was trying to
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do the books for the
quarter, and I was having
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a little trouble
making sense of it.
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You know, Mary, if...
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00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,718
if it's too big of a mess, and
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00:05:48,819 --> 00:05:51,584
you'd rather work somewhere
else, I'd understand.
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No, I'll figure it out.
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Great.
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So happy you're here.
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Hey, there.
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Oh.
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00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:07,434
Hi, Mary.
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Finally found an
eight-pounder that's not pink.
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I didn't know you bowled.
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I didn't know you did either.
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Actually, I, um,
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I work here now.
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Oh, sure, okay.
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I...
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I'm so sorry
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about how things
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went down at church.
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If it helps at all, the place
has gone to heck since you left.
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Good.
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I sure do miss working with you.
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Well, we can still be friends,
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even if we don't work together.
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I'd like that.
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You find a kiddie ball yet?
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It's not about
the weight, just...
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I have small fingers.
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Oh, uh, Mary, this is Shannon.
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Shannon, this is
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Mary Cooper. Hi.
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You used to be Mary Tucker.
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Oh, not in a long time.
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You remember me?
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00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:05,396
Sorry, no.
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00:07:05,499 --> 00:07:08,963
Shannon Dixon. You
used to babysit me.
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Is that so?
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She was so great.
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She would let me stay
up late and watch TV
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while she would make
out with her boyfriend.
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I don't... remember any of that.
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00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,149
Oh, I'm not surprised. You
used to hit my dad's liquor cabinet
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00:07:22,173 --> 00:07:24,747
pretty hard. Well, Mary Cooper.
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I was... young and
hadn't found the Lord.
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You two have a great time.
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Here's that invoice.
195
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Oh. Great.
196
00:07:42,699 --> 00:07:44,596
I see Pastor Rob's here again.
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00:07:44,699 --> 00:07:46,863
Oh, does, uh...
198
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,470
does he come here often?
199
00:07:49,572 --> 00:07:51,206
Not with that one.
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She's new.
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00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,346
Well, good for him.
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Single, good-looking pastor.
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00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,319
In a small town like this,
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he might as well
be Roger Staubach.
205
00:08:04,622 --> 00:08:06,487
Oh, my God. The Dallas Cowboys.
206
00:08:06,588 --> 00:08:08,358
Oh, sure, course.
207
00:08:08,461 --> 00:08:10,252
Um... hey, if you need me,
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00:08:10,355 --> 00:08:12,755
I'm gonna be in
the office doing...
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00:08:12,858 --> 00:08:14,634
office things.
210
00:08:20,637 --> 00:08:21,637
What are you doing here?
211
00:08:21,737 --> 00:08:23,199
I ran out of beer at home,
212
00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,038
didn't feel like
driving to the store.
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00:08:25,141 --> 00:08:27,408
Oh, so you just waltz
in and help yourself?
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00:08:27,511 --> 00:08:29,444
'Bout sums it up.
215
00:08:29,547 --> 00:08:31,444
I'm changing the locks.
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00:08:31,547 --> 00:08:34,148
Cheers.
217
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,652
So, how's my daughter doing?
218
00:08:39,754 --> 00:08:41,250
Eh, she seems okay.
219
00:08:41,352 --> 00:08:43,088
Still trying to
figure things out.
220
00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:45,695
I got to be honest,
I'm not exactly upset
221
00:08:45,797 --> 00:08:47,461
about less religion
in the house.
222
00:08:47,563 --> 00:08:49,500
I hear you.
223
00:08:49,602 --> 00:08:51,536
Although, Jesus
making her forgive me
224
00:08:51,638 --> 00:08:53,870
has come in handy
more than a few times.
225
00:08:53,972 --> 00:08:56,739
Yeah, I played that card, too.
226
00:08:56,841 --> 00:08:59,442
Then again, I remember
Mary before God
227
00:08:59,543 --> 00:09:00,972
got His mitts on her, and...
228
00:09:01,075 --> 00:09:03,677
she was pretty wild.
229
00:09:03,778 --> 00:09:05,548
Don't have to tell me.
230
00:09:05,650 --> 00:09:07,010
I was the person
she was wild with.
231
00:09:07,049 --> 00:09:10,221
Oh, she was wild long
before she ever met you.
232
00:09:10,322 --> 00:09:11,552
What do you mean?
233
00:09:12,554 --> 00:09:16,292
Did you think that you were the
first person she was wild with?
234
00:09:16,394 --> 00:09:19,633
Well... yeah.
235
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,942
And just when the
Enterprise is about to be
236
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,298
assimilated by the Borg,
237
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:31,773
another ship appears,
piloted by Wesley Crusher.
238
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,743
Uh-huh. It's surprising because
239
00:09:33,845 --> 00:09:35,378
Wesley Crusher left
the show years ago,
240
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,480
so it's a big deal.
241
00:09:36,578 --> 00:09:37,711
If you say so.
242
00:09:37,813 --> 00:09:39,014
I have more. Commander Data...
243
00:09:39,114 --> 00:09:41,450
I'd like a reservation
for dinner.
244
00:09:41,552 --> 00:09:42,719
Yes, I'll hold.
245
00:09:42,821 --> 00:09:44,655
You want to do this
over dinner? Okay.
246
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,852
I'm taking your
grandmother out tonight.
247
00:09:46,955 --> 00:09:48,384
She didn't mention it to me.
248
00:09:48,485 --> 00:09:50,789
Maybe because it
doesn't concern you.
249
00:09:50,892 --> 00:09:52,190
My meemaw, my professor...
250
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,926
Who's in the middle
of that Venn diagram?
251
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,797
Yes, two people at 8:00.
252
00:09:56,899 --> 00:09:58,732
8:00's a little late for Meemaw.
253
00:09:58,836 --> 00:10:00,398
What time does she like to eat?
254
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,134
Well, she's old like
you, so 6:30 at the latest.
255
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,873
Can we make that
6:30? Wonderful.
256
00:10:05,975 --> 00:10:08,846
Hold on. Does she
like French food?
257
00:10:09,645 --> 00:10:11,942
I'll call you back.
258
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:14,148
Anyway, Commander Data...
259
00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:16,317
Let me ask you a question,
if this Commander Data
260
00:10:16,418 --> 00:10:19,490
were taking your meemaw out
for dinner, where would they go?
261
00:10:19,591 --> 00:10:21,225
Almost certainly the holodeck.
262
00:10:21,326 --> 00:10:22,854
Sounds trendy.
263
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,730
Is that in Houston?
264
00:10:28,332 --> 00:10:29,332
Hello.
265
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,633
What's up?
266
00:10:30,735 --> 00:10:32,436
I saw your "help wanted" sign.
267
00:10:32,538 --> 00:10:33,633
I'd like to help, please.
268
00:10:33,735 --> 00:10:34,768
How old are you?
269
00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:36,501
How old do I need to be?
270
00:10:36,604 --> 00:10:37,604
14.
271
00:10:37,642 --> 00:10:39,575
Do I not look 14?
272
00:10:39,677 --> 00:10:41,707
I don't care. Perfect.
273
00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,210
So, when do I start?
274
00:10:43,312 --> 00:10:45,644
All right, hold on, do you
even like comic books?
275
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:46,745
Yeah.
276
00:10:46,816 --> 00:10:47,985
What's your favorite?
277
00:10:49,221 --> 00:10:50,249
Um...
278
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,591
And the cool thing about
the X-Men is not just
279
00:10:52,692 --> 00:10:53,734
that they have
superpowers, but they act
280
00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:55,188
as a metaphor for outsiders...
281
00:10:55,290 --> 00:10:57,789
outsiders trying to find
their place in society.
282
00:10:57,892 --> 00:10:59,427
Who's your favorite?
283
00:10:59,529 --> 00:11:01,096
All of them.
284
00:11:02,368 --> 00:11:03,268
Mine, too.
285
00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:04,668
And I got the job.
286
00:11:04,770 --> 00:11:06,144
You can't work at
the comic book store.
287
00:11:06,168 --> 00:11:07,612
If anyone should work
at the comic book store,
288
00:11:07,636 --> 00:11:08,538
it should be me.
289
00:11:08,639 --> 00:11:09,936
Sorry, we're not hiring.
290
00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:11,538
Do I at least get a discount?
291
00:11:11,639 --> 00:11:13,240
I do.
292
00:11:20,519 --> 00:11:22,551
Oh, hey, hi.
293
00:11:22,653 --> 00:11:25,022
Oh... You okay?
294
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,251
Not really.
295
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:30,424
It's been a... rough
couple of days.
296
00:11:30,528 --> 00:11:32,294
I'm sorry.
297
00:11:32,398 --> 00:11:33,496
Thank you.
298
00:11:33,599 --> 00:11:34,831
Makes you feel better,
299
00:11:34,932 --> 00:11:36,270
I've had a pretty
good couple of days,
300
00:11:36,294 --> 00:11:37,761
and I'm still gonna get drunk.
301
00:11:39,668 --> 00:11:41,269
Want to join me?
302
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:43,934
Yes.
303
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,606
That would be nice.
304
00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:46,972
More sad than nice,
305
00:11:47,075 --> 00:11:49,244
but let's go. Okay.
306
00:11:54,245 --> 00:11:55,519
So... this is unexpected.
307
00:11:55,623 --> 00:11:57,922
Well, I know you
like margaritas,
308
00:11:58,024 --> 00:11:59,884
so my first thought was
a Mexican restaurant.
309
00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:00,985
Good thought.
310
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,304
But I assumed other men had come
311
00:12:02,364 --> 00:12:03,663
to that same conclusion.
312
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:06,663
They have. Which led
me to Polynesian fare.
313
00:12:06,765 --> 00:12:08,600
I like to think of the Mai Tai
314
00:12:08,702 --> 00:12:11,394
as the margarita
of the South Pacific.
315
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:14,264
You don't do anything
on a whim, do you?
316
00:12:14,365 --> 00:12:16,336
Did once, didn't like it.
317
00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:20,511
I have an idea
318
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:21,614
for a Star Trek episode
319
00:12:21,648 --> 00:12:22,740
I'd like to present to you.
320
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,142
Why me?
321
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,642
Because I'm hoping to sell it,
322
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,326
and since it's going to
be broadcast television,
323
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:29,580
I want to make sure the
common man can understand it.
324
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,986
Well, I understand
I was just insulted.
325
00:12:32,088 --> 00:12:34,350
Excellent, I came to
the right common man.
326
00:12:34,452 --> 00:12:35,727
We start on
327
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:38,264
a gas giant in the
vicinity of Rigel IV,
328
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:39,832
then see a shuttle craft,
329
00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:42,928
a dot of silver against the
inky blackness of space.
330
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,428
Inside the shuttle craft,
331
00:12:44,532 --> 00:12:46,840
we see Lieutenant Worf
struggling to breathe.
332
00:12:46,942 --> 00:12:50,268
He's been infected by a
vicious intelligent fungus.
333
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,177
Where are you
going? I'm listening.
334
00:12:52,279 --> 00:12:53,302
Cough, cough.
335
00:12:53,403 --> 00:12:55,240
Worf is choking on spores,
336
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,878
but not just your
everyday spores,
337
00:12:56,980 --> 00:12:58,482
these are spores with their own
338
00:12:58,585 --> 00:12:59,812
evil agenda. Uh-huh.
339
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:00,683
And, as he sinks
340
00:13:00,785 --> 00:13:02,245
into a coma, a mysterious figure
341
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:03,712
in a spacesuit approaches.
342
00:13:03,815 --> 00:13:05,721
He lowers the visor of
his helmet revealing...
343
00:13:05,823 --> 00:13:07,323
Future Worf. Are you hooked?
344
00:13:07,427 --> 00:13:09,052
Oh, yeah.
345
00:13:09,153 --> 00:13:10,355
Main titles.
346
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,961
Cue theme song
and the soothing voice
347
00:13:12,063 --> 00:13:15,066
of Patrick Stewart as
Captain Picard says...
348
00:13:16,567 --> 00:13:18,530
"Space..."
349
00:13:19,605 --> 00:13:21,605
"The final frontier."
350
00:13:21,706 --> 00:13:24,537
Who's Patrick Stewart?
351
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,812
Feeling better? I'm fine,
352
00:13:28,913 --> 00:13:31,083
just having a little
moment earlier.
353
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,216
Oh, yeah.
354
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,216
All right.
355
00:13:33,318 --> 00:13:34,679
Mm.
356
00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:35,946
Mmm.
357
00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:41,727
Seems like running
into Pastor Rob kind of...
358
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:43,307
kind of rattled you
a little bit.
359
00:13:43,331 --> 00:13:45,722
Oh, well...
360
00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:48,731
I was asked to leave the church,
361
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:51,494
and he's still there, so...
362
00:13:51,596 --> 00:13:53,371
it's still a little fresh. Mm.
363
00:13:53,474 --> 00:13:55,905
Yeah, I get that.
364
00:13:56,008 --> 00:13:58,244
Seems like a nice
guy, though. Oh, yeah,
365
00:13:58,346 --> 00:13:59,642
he's great.
366
00:13:59,744 --> 00:14:01,410
Cute as a button.
367
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,416
I guess.
368
00:14:03,518 --> 00:14:06,009
I prefer a bigger man.
369
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:07,652
Like George?
370
00:14:07,754 --> 00:14:10,615
Oh, yeah. Bigger the better.
371
00:14:11,783 --> 00:14:14,052
Deep within the
Enterprise's control room,
372
00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:15,153
Future Worf says,
373
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:16,595
"I willingly sacrifice myself
374
00:14:16,697 --> 00:14:17,995
for the good of this mission,"
375
00:14:18,096 --> 00:14:19,830
then throws himself
into the warp core.
376
00:14:19,932 --> 00:14:21,562
There's an
explosion of tachyons.
377
00:14:21,663 --> 00:14:25,061
The Enterprise blasts free
of the gigantic field of fungus.
378
00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:26,163
Fade out.
379
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:29,634
Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper.
380
00:14:30,643 --> 00:14:32,408
What do you think?
381
00:14:33,211 --> 00:14:36,441
If this Worf fella was
infected on the shuttles,
382
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,957
why would he come
back to the Enterprise
383
00:14:37,981 --> 00:14:39,611
and put everyone else in danger?
384
00:14:40,419 --> 00:14:42,253
Well...
385
00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:45,250
My
Father found a flaw in my story,
386
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,221
my sister had a job I envied.
387
00:14:47,322 --> 00:14:49,859
It was a big day for
the common man.
388
00:14:49,961 --> 00:14:52,095
But then I had an idea that,
389
00:14:52,197 --> 00:14:54,466
like Future Worf,
was ahead of its time.
390
00:14:55,635 --> 00:14:57,097
Missy. What?
391
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,703
Why is a dollar worth a dollar?
392
00:14:59,806 --> 00:15:01,369
Sheldon, I'm busy.
393
00:15:01,471 --> 00:15:03,271
Me too. I've solved all
of our money problems.
394
00:15:03,307 --> 00:15:05,510
I'm going to invent my
own digital currency.
395
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,111
Like, printing your own?
396
00:15:07,214 --> 00:15:09,847
No. First, we assign value
to difficult-to-find numbers
397
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,357
and store them in a
computer database.
398
00:15:11,381 --> 00:15:13,315
Then we create an algorithm
to mine the numbers,
399
00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:15,446
then we encourage people
to switch from currencies
400
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,188
that are
government-backed to ours.
401
00:15:17,991 --> 00:15:19,918
It's brilliant. I'm
going to be rich.
402
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,389
Speaking of,
403
00:15:21,491 --> 00:15:24,522
did you know Batman is
also secretly a rich dude?
404
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,763
Or he lives in a rich
dude's basement.
405
00:15:26,865 --> 00:15:28,399
I'm still figuring it out.
406
00:15:32,629 --> 00:15:34,832
Oh, thank you, tiki woman.
407
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:35,673
So...
408
00:15:35,774 --> 00:15:37,272
what's going on at work?
409
00:15:37,374 --> 00:15:39,203
I don't want to bore
you with science talk.
410
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,739
No, no, I'm interested.
411
00:15:40,841 --> 00:15:43,312
Excellent. We're in a race
with the Finnish team to see
412
00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:45,677
who can correct the
unification of the leptons.
413
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,316
As you can imagine,
the world waits anxiously
414
00:15:48,418 --> 00:15:50,745
while we see who
crosses the finish line first.
415
00:15:50,847 --> 00:15:53,082
So, the Finnish may
be at the finish line?
416
00:15:56,697 --> 00:15:58,488
Oh, you're witty, too.
417
00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,292
More cheese to bait the trap.
418
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,558
Maybe we should order dinner.
419
00:16:02,660 --> 00:16:04,698
Nonsense, there's
food right here.
420
00:16:04,802 --> 00:16:05,702
Pineapple,
421
00:16:05,804 --> 00:16:07,903
prickly on the outside,
422
00:16:08,004 --> 00:16:09,639
but beautiful inside,
423
00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:11,869
just like you.
424
00:16:15,609 --> 00:16:17,448
And you know
that Shannon girl...
425
00:16:17,551 --> 00:16:18,682
With Pastor Rob?
426
00:16:18,783 --> 00:16:21,110
She was a bedwetter.
427
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,246
Ten years old.
428
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:24,581
That's not normal.
429
00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:25,932
Maybe he'll get
a fun little surprise
430
00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:27,090
on their honeymoon.
431
00:16:27,192 --> 00:16:29,924
Oh, no, they're
not getting married.
432
00:16:30,027 --> 00:16:31,155
Well, how do you know?
433
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,588
I don't.
434
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,859
I just think he could do better.
435
00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:38,163
Mary Cooper.
436
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,030
Are you sweet on him?
437
00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:41,804
No! What?
438
00:16:41,907 --> 00:16:44,870
I am a married woman.
439
00:16:44,972 --> 00:16:46,344
Happily.
440
00:16:46,446 --> 00:16:48,658
Well, I was married once,
too, didn't stop me from looking.
441
00:16:48,682 --> 00:16:50,710
Well, I'm not looking.
442
00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:53,043
Where you going?
443
00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:54,149
To dance.
444
00:16:54,251 --> 00:16:55,692
I didn't think you
Baptists did that.
445
00:16:55,788 --> 00:16:57,178
We don't drink, neither.
446
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,557
Ooh!
447
00:16:58,658 --> 00:17:00,360
Look at me. Ooh! Wow.
448
00:17:02,419 --> 00:17:04,554
I'm pretty good.
449
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:05,963
Are you familiar
with the phrase,
450
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,232
"You need money
to make money"? No.
451
00:17:08,335 --> 00:17:10,969
Well, it's a phrase, and
my clever twist on it is,
452
00:17:11,070 --> 00:17:13,438
"I'm going to make
money to make money."
453
00:17:13,539 --> 00:17:14,964
Mm-hmm.
454
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,382
Now, when I say "make
money," you might think that
455
00:17:16,406 --> 00:17:18,275
I'm talking about
counterfeiting, but no,
456
00:17:18,376 --> 00:17:20,738
I'm talking about creating
a unique decentralized
457
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:22,778
digital currency that
people can pay to own.
458
00:17:22,881 --> 00:17:23,913
Sounds like a scam.
459
00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:25,842
No, it's an open-source currency
460
00:17:25,943 --> 00:17:27,982
that has value due to
mathematical scarcity.
461
00:17:28,085 --> 00:17:29,721
Sounds pretty scammy.
462
00:17:29,825 --> 00:17:31,181
You don't understand.
463
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:32,354
I do.
464
00:17:32,455 --> 00:17:33,989
You say a bunch of
fancy jibber-jabber,
465
00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:35,222
people don't want to admit
466
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:36,599
they're too stupid
to understand,
467
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:37,487
then they give you their money.
468
00:17:37,588 --> 00:17:40,061
Well... um... sort of.
469
00:17:40,164 --> 00:17:42,263
Love it. How do we get started?
470
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,996
Well, all we need is a
mainframe computer.
471
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,731
How much is that? New,
about half a million dollars,
472
00:17:47,835 --> 00:17:50,374
but I'm hoping to find
something slightly used.
473
00:17:51,141 --> 00:17:53,442
Time will prove me right.
474
00:17:55,212 --> 00:17:56,575
You're not gonna believe this,
475
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:57,976
but I don't go
on a lot of dates.
476
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,209
No.
477
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:00,920
It's true.
478
00:18:01,021 --> 00:18:03,018
Sure, I did okay as
a younger man, but
479
00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:04,847
there was a war on and
480
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,562
most of the able-bodied
men were elsewhere.
481
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,627
So, you sowed
some oats, I get it.
482
00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:09,894
A whole field of them.
483
00:18:09,997 --> 00:18:11,760
I was the Johnny
Appleseed of oats.
484
00:18:11,863 --> 00:18:12,863
Okay.
485
00:18:12,932 --> 00:18:15,023
But here's the thing.
486
00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:18,094
Once you put off matrimony
past a certain point,
487
00:18:18,195 --> 00:18:20,935
women start to think of
you as... What's the word?
488
00:18:21,038 --> 00:18:23,500
Creepy? There it is.
489
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,271
And then along comes you,
490
00:18:25,375 --> 00:18:27,041
my little Texas firecracker,
491
00:18:27,144 --> 00:18:28,373
playing the game of life
492
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:29,805
by her own set of rules.
493
00:18:29,906 --> 00:18:33,111
I'm a firecracker,
I'm a pineapple...
494
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,250
Good for me.
495
00:18:34,352 --> 00:18:36,281
Can I ask you a
personal question?
496
00:18:36,384 --> 00:18:37,384
Oh, I wish you wouldn't.
497
00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:38,482
How would you like
498
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,848
to make love to a man
499
00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:41,791
who shook the hand
of Albert Einstein?
500
00:18:41,894 --> 00:18:43,551
And... you did.
501
00:18:43,653 --> 00:18:45,731
This one right here.
502
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:46,954
I didn't wash it for a week.
503
00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:48,761
Not a selling point.
504
00:18:50,035 --> 00:18:52,270
Excuse me for a moment.
505
00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:55,273
I have to toss my cookies.
506
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,375
Hey.
507
00:19:01,477 --> 00:19:02,847
Where you been?
508
00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:05,816
Brenda and I went dancing.
509
00:19:05,917 --> 00:19:07,611
You went dancing?
510
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,556
Yeah, and I'm darn good at it.
511
00:19:10,657 --> 00:19:12,147
Okay.
512
00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:15,425
The kids asleep? Yep.
513
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,265
You want to fool around?
514
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,567
Are you messing with me?
515
00:19:21,669 --> 00:19:23,763
I'm hoping to.
516
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,865
Well, hot diggity dog.
517
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,070
Welcome to King
Kong Comics. I'm Missy.
518
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,893
If you have any questions,
please let me know.
519
00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:38,150
I don't have any questions.
520
00:19:38,251 --> 00:19:39,888
I know more about
comic books than you do.
521
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,019
Okay. What you may
not know is the new
522
00:19:42,121 --> 00:19:43,588
Green Lantern just came in.
523
00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:46,719
Also, if you like green things,
I recommend Green Arrow,
524
00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:48,851
and, of course, the
Hulk. His skin is green.
525
00:19:48,952 --> 00:19:50,689
I know that.
Everyone knows that.
526
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,892
Uh-oh, are you
gonna smash things?
527
00:19:52,993 --> 00:19:54,810
That's something the Hulk
does when he gets upset.
528
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:55,901
I'm not upset.
529
00:19:56,003 --> 00:19:57,334
Cool. If you need something,
530
00:19:57,436 --> 00:19:59,932
I'll be at the front
counter. Where I work.
531
00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:13,048
Captioning sponsored by CBS
532
00:20:13,151 --> 00:20:16,049
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
533
00:20:16,152 --> 00:20:18,853
and TOYOTA.
534
00:20:18,954 --> 00:20:22,394
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org