1 00:00:17,415 --> 00:00:20,250 Grant that, through this mystery, 2 00:00:20,275 --> 00:00:23,046 your servant Theodore Marcus Graves, 3 00:00:23,088 --> 00:00:25,732 who has gone to his rest in Christ, 4 00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:28,158 may share in the joy 5 00:00:28,183 --> 00:00:30,040 of his resurrection. 6 00:00:30,107 --> 00:00:32,011 Forgive whatever sins 7 00:00:32,078 --> 00:00:34,182 he committed through human weakness, 8 00:00:34,207 --> 00:00:38,479 and in your goodness grant him everlasting peace. 9 00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:40,596 How do we still not know what happened? 10 00:00:40,621 --> 00:00:43,175 I can't get anything when it comes to the police. 11 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,072 I'm a leper. I'm sorry. 12 00:00:45,097 --> 00:00:47,008 "His line is gone out through all the earth. 13 00:00:47,074 --> 00:00:48,443 "In them hath he set 14 00:00:48,510 --> 00:00:50,080 a tabernacle for the sun." 15 00:00:50,147 --> 00:00:54,289 who has gone to his rest in Christ... 16 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,525 Wait. Don't do that. Stop, stop. 17 00:01:29,593 --> 00:01:31,196 Hey, what are you doing? 18 00:01:31,262 --> 00:01:34,235 I'm trying to keep you from pulling out the IV. 19 00:01:37,008 --> 00:01:38,845 Billy. 20 00:01:38,911 --> 00:01:41,383 Hey. 21 00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,821 You're... you're not a nurse. 22 00:01:43,888 --> 00:01:46,459 How do you know? 23 00:01:46,526 --> 00:01:50,200 You never asked me what I did for a living. 24 00:01:50,267 --> 00:01:51,546 But then again, it was hard to hear anything 25 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,773 from under that leather hood. 26 00:01:52,839 --> 00:01:54,810 No. 27 00:01:54,877 --> 00:01:56,446 Hey, no. No. Ah! 28 00:01:56,513 --> 00:01:59,687 Fighting with my nurse won't improve your condition, Sam. 29 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,456 Theo? 30 00:02:02,626 --> 00:02:04,162 I prefer Doctor. 31 00:02:04,228 --> 00:02:08,070 I see you were admitted with Pneumocystis pneumonia. 32 00:02:08,136 --> 00:02:09,640 It's a pretty serious infection 33 00:02:09,707 --> 00:02:12,011 caused by a fairly common fungus. 34 00:02:12,078 --> 00:02:13,113 What? 35 00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:14,391 It usually resolves on its own, 36 00:02:14,415 --> 00:02:15,919 but your immune system 37 00:02:15,985 --> 00:02:18,156 doesn't seem to be responding. 38 00:02:18,223 --> 00:02:19,827 - No. - I need... 39 00:02:19,893 --> 00:02:22,431 I need to see a real doctor. Just get me out of this dump! 40 00:02:22,498 --> 00:02:24,102 Hey. 41 00:02:24,168 --> 00:02:26,239 Unfortunately, 42 00:02:26,306 --> 00:02:28,544 this is the only hospital that would see you. 43 00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:32,451 People are afraid of this thing. 44 00:02:33,855 --> 00:02:35,424 They're afraid of you. 45 00:03:48,571 --> 00:03:51,577 I'm glad you're on your feet. 46 00:03:51,644 --> 00:03:54,515 It's hard for me to see you like this. 47 00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:57,823 You were always so vital. 48 00:03:59,392 --> 00:04:00,995 So were you. 49 00:04:02,732 --> 00:04:05,170 Theo, I don't know what happened to you that night. 50 00:04:05,237 --> 00:04:07,943 I didn't kill you, did I? 51 00:04:08,744 --> 00:04:11,015 Did you intend to kill me, Sam? 52 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,288 I don't think so. 53 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,326 That should've been an easy answer. 54 00:04:17,495 --> 00:04:20,100 What about the others? 55 00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:21,269 The others? 56 00:04:21,336 --> 00:04:24,810 The other lives you devoured. 57 00:04:24,877 --> 00:04:27,414 You spent a lifetime looking away from the consequences 58 00:04:27,481 --> 00:04:29,586 of your actions, 59 00:04:29,653 --> 00:04:32,424 but everything catches up to you in the end. 60 00:04:33,493 --> 00:04:36,499 Where are you taking me? I don't like this game. 61 00:04:37,936 --> 00:04:41,176 Do you remember when I told you that something was coming? 62 00:04:41,242 --> 00:04:43,480 That I could feel it? 63 00:04:43,548 --> 00:04:45,885 - Yes. - Well... 64 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,490 that something's here. 65 00:05:02,251 --> 00:05:05,658 Oh, Christ, that smell. 66 00:05:05,725 --> 00:05:07,428 No, I don't want to come in here. 67 00:05:07,494 --> 00:05:09,933 No one else will, Sam. That's why you have to. 68 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,004 Come on. 69 00:05:22,559 --> 00:05:24,495 What happened to him? 70 00:05:24,563 --> 00:05:26,600 He was admitted about a month ago 71 00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:28,771 with the same infection you have. 72 00:05:36,554 --> 00:05:38,056 Who is that? 73 00:05:40,695 --> 00:05:43,701 That's Danny, Sam. Don't you remember Danny? 74 00:05:43,768 --> 00:05:46,674 The first guy we opened our relationship up to. 75 00:05:48,009 --> 00:05:49,813 Danny. 76 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,892 He used to be so beautiful. 77 00:05:55,959 --> 00:05:57,161 And more than that, 78 00:05:57,228 --> 00:06:00,200 he was a very talented writer. 79 00:06:00,267 --> 00:06:01,436 I knew that. 80 00:06:01,502 --> 00:06:04,108 He wrote a one-man play. It was... 81 00:06:04,175 --> 00:06:06,412 really good. 82 00:06:08,049 --> 00:06:09,753 He had a kind of flair. 83 00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:12,592 Did you go see it? The play? 84 00:06:12,659 --> 00:06:15,698 No, no, he-he got me tickets... 85 00:06:15,765 --> 00:06:17,167 but, no, I didn't go. 86 00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:19,438 And you never brought it up again, did you? 87 00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,577 Danny thought you had seen the play, Sam. 88 00:06:21,644 --> 00:06:24,157 - He thought you didn't know how to tell him that you hated it. - What? 89 00:06:24,181 --> 00:06:27,822 I never told him that he didn't have talent. 90 00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:30,360 Well, you didn't tell him anything, Sam, 91 00:06:30,427 --> 00:06:32,899 and that's the impression that you left. 92 00:06:34,035 --> 00:06:35,504 Oh, my God. 93 00:06:35,571 --> 00:06:38,143 Oh, God. Help him. Theo, help him. 94 00:06:38,209 --> 00:06:39,889 - There's no use, Sam. - Somebody help him! 95 00:06:39,913 --> 00:06:41,249 There's no one there to hear you. 96 00:06:41,316 --> 00:06:42,585 Why did you bring me here? 97 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,522 Isn't that what you do? You show things 98 00:06:44,589 --> 00:06:46,101 to your clients that they've never seen before. 99 00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:48,396 - Things they'll never forget. - This is not my fault. 100 00:06:48,463 --> 00:06:51,035 Come on. There's more to see. 101 00:07:11,175 --> 00:07:12,712 Stewart. 102 00:07:12,779 --> 00:07:14,482 He was sick before he met you, 103 00:07:14,549 --> 00:07:16,185 but he didn't know it yet. 104 00:07:16,252 --> 00:07:19,760 The doctors don't understand why he's wasting away so fast. 105 00:07:19,826 --> 00:07:21,697 He was fine when we were together. 106 00:07:21,764 --> 00:07:23,233 - Better than fine. - Was that before 107 00:07:23,299 --> 00:07:26,640 or after you wouldn't let him out of the cage? 108 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,819 I was coked up, Theo. I got carried away. 109 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,558 I have always pushed the limits. 110 00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:38,263 "I, I, I." 111 00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:40,902 Look beyond yourself, Sam. 112 00:07:42,071 --> 00:07:43,073 What about him? 113 00:07:46,547 --> 00:07:48,483 I shouldn't be here. 114 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:49,853 He doesn't know it's you, Sam. 115 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,559 - Give him a kiss. - What? 116 00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,696 He needs compassion. 117 00:07:56,299 --> 00:07:59,806 I'm sorry. You've asked the wrong person. 118 00:08:02,511 --> 00:08:03,814 It's not my place. 119 00:08:03,881 --> 00:08:06,954 It's everyone's place to show love, Sam. 120 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,605 Please, Theo. 121 00:08:32,672 --> 00:08:34,910 I'm so tired. I need to get to my room. 122 00:08:34,976 --> 00:08:37,281 That's where we're headed. 123 00:08:46,332 --> 00:08:48,336 This is not my room. 124 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,340 It is, Sam. 125 00:08:50,407 --> 00:08:52,277 Go inside. 126 00:09:11,449 --> 00:09:13,921 How long have I been here? 127 00:09:15,490 --> 00:09:17,461 Long enough to be forgotten. 128 00:09:17,529 --> 00:09:20,300 I would never be left to rot like this. 129 00:09:20,367 --> 00:09:22,939 There are people who love me. 130 00:09:23,006 --> 00:09:25,711 It's one thing to be celebrated, Sam. 131 00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:30,153 It's another thing entirely to be loved. 132 00:09:33,493 --> 00:09:37,301 You've surrounded yourself with beautiful people 133 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:39,305 who loved beautiful things. 134 00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:43,213 But those beautiful people... 135 00:09:43,279 --> 00:09:45,751 They don't have a taste for this kind of beauty. 136 00:09:55,605 --> 00:09:56,907 What happened to me? 137 00:09:56,974 --> 00:09:59,880 Your immune system continued to decay, 138 00:09:59,946 --> 00:10:02,752 and your body lost all ability to fight off 139 00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:06,225 even the smallest infection. 140 00:10:06,292 --> 00:10:08,329 The lesions on your skin, 141 00:10:08,396 --> 00:10:09,699 those are nothing compared 142 00:10:09,766 --> 00:10:11,637 to what's happening inside your body. 143 00:10:11,703 --> 00:10:14,175 What about medication? 144 00:10:14,241 --> 00:10:17,381 I'll pay. I don't care how much it costs. 145 00:10:18,984 --> 00:10:20,621 There's no cure for this. 146 00:10:22,725 --> 00:10:25,130 Money can't buy your way out this time. 147 00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:28,771 Do something. Help him. 148 00:10:29,471 --> 00:10:31,877 Help me. Do something! I can't die like this. 149 00:10:31,944 --> 00:10:33,446 I don't deserve to die like this. 150 00:10:33,513 --> 00:10:35,551 Theo, do something! Help me! 151 00:10:35,618 --> 00:10:36,920 Please. 152 00:10:40,427 --> 00:10:41,730 Help me. 153 00:10:43,466 --> 00:10:45,370 Somebody help me. 154 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,389 Hello? 155 00:11:15,363 --> 00:11:17,167 Hello? 156 00:11:22,344 --> 00:11:23,981 Where am I? 157 00:11:34,769 --> 00:11:36,807 What's happening? 158 00:11:40,347 --> 00:11:42,184 Where am I? 159 00:11:43,587 --> 00:11:45,791 Hello? 160 00:11:47,394 --> 00:11:48,496 What's wrong? 161 00:11:50,768 --> 00:11:52,271 Being locked in a cage isn't as comfy 162 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,217 - as you imagined it to be? - Get me out of here. 163 00:11:54,241 --> 00:11:55,678 No, no. 164 00:11:55,745 --> 00:11:58,049 We're gonna have a little fun. 165 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:01,489 Hmm... 166 00:12:03,594 --> 00:12:04,529 Ooh. 167 00:12:04,596 --> 00:12:06,600 What's this? 168 00:12:06,667 --> 00:12:08,904 Gone fishing? 169 00:12:08,971 --> 00:12:10,507 Judge all you want. 170 00:12:10,574 --> 00:12:13,012 Gives a lot of people pleasure. You wouldn't understand. 171 00:12:13,079 --> 00:12:15,517 No, I wouldn't understand such grotesque extremes. 172 00:12:15,584 --> 00:12:19,024 It's people like you who make the world hate people like me. 173 00:12:19,091 --> 00:12:20,628 Says the gay hit man. 174 00:12:21,429 --> 00:12:23,232 You don't know anything about me. 175 00:12:23,299 --> 00:12:26,472 You and I are not that dissimilar. 176 00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:29,813 We're both deeply misunderstood, but there is 177 00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:32,217 one big difference. 178 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:34,756 I don't believe that my pain 179 00:12:34,823 --> 00:12:37,962 is greater than everyone else's. 180 00:12:50,153 --> 00:12:53,393 It's one thing to indulge in a fetish. 181 00:12:54,261 --> 00:12:58,002 It's another to enjoy torturing people. 182 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,543 I give pain to people to take it away. 183 00:13:01,610 --> 00:13:02,845 Bullshit. 184 00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:04,515 You inflict pain 185 00:13:04,582 --> 00:13:07,054 because you are in pain. 186 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,893 Pain given is pain experienced. 187 00:13:09,959 --> 00:13:12,532 There's an art to the pain I give. 188 00:13:12,598 --> 00:13:13,934 Not like this. 189 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,072 He's hurting him, really. Make him stop. 190 00:13:16,138 --> 00:13:19,144 So it's different with someone you love? 191 00:13:19,211 --> 00:13:20,915 Who is this man, Sam? 192 00:13:22,752 --> 00:13:24,464 - I don't want to see him like this. - Look at him. 193 00:13:24,488 --> 00:13:27,895 Sam, look at the man who caused you the most pain. 194 00:13:29,431 --> 00:13:32,304 - Acknowledge your father's presence. - No! 195 00:13:32,371 --> 00:13:33,907 Stop! 196 00:13:33,974 --> 00:13:36,078 Is this where all the violence began? 197 00:13:36,145 --> 00:13:37,849 Please... 198 00:13:37,915 --> 00:13:40,453 Make it stop! 199 00:13:45,598 --> 00:13:46,900 Ah... 200 00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:49,606 Is this another link in the chain of violence? 201 00:13:49,672 --> 00:13:51,275 Who is this? 202 00:13:51,342 --> 00:13:54,014 My first boss when I worked on Wall Street. 203 00:13:54,081 --> 00:13:56,953 Oh, yes. You so 204 00:13:57,020 --> 00:14:00,561 badly wanted the approval of those cavemen. 205 00:14:00,628 --> 00:14:02,068 They were never gonna accept a faggot 206 00:14:02,097 --> 00:14:03,142 like you into their league. 207 00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:04,536 I worked harder than anyone 208 00:14:04,602 --> 00:14:06,038 at that firm. 209 00:14:07,207 --> 00:14:10,380 I was smarter and faster than all of them combined, 210 00:14:10,447 --> 00:14:12,417 and they still made me feel so small, 211 00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:13,587 so worthless. 212 00:14:13,654 --> 00:14:16,292 You left finance and you became a collector. 213 00:14:16,358 --> 00:14:18,162 Hoarding art and men and money 214 00:14:18,229 --> 00:14:19,799 just to show those Wall Street boys. 215 00:14:19,866 --> 00:14:22,672 No one was ever gonna take away my power ever again. 216 00:14:22,739 --> 00:14:25,076 You can't blame me 217 00:14:25,143 --> 00:14:26,847 for having some self-respect. 218 00:14:26,913 --> 00:14:28,483 Is that what you call this? 219 00:14:57,875 --> 00:15:00,614 I'm not afraid of you. 220 00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:02,585 I am the one 221 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,989 - who should be feared. - Ooh. 222 00:15:05,056 --> 00:15:07,027 So defensive. 223 00:15:07,093 --> 00:15:08,764 Is that how you talk to your God? 224 00:15:08,831 --> 00:15:10,300 Get me out of here! 225 00:15:10,366 --> 00:15:11,603 Time to face him, Sam. 226 00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:13,907 Your fear. Your chaos. 227 00:15:13,974 --> 00:15:15,043 Your shame. 228 00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:16,813 Your shadow. 229 00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:19,919 Avoiding him now 230 00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:22,959 is only gonna make it more painful. 231 00:15:23,025 --> 00:15:27,100 Help! Let me go! 232 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,007 Sam, 233 00:16:04,074 --> 00:16:06,045 you can't outrun him. 234 00:16:07,882 --> 00:16:09,484 You're too slow. 235 00:16:20,941 --> 00:16:24,114 The darkness always wins. 236 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,659 All we can ever do 237 00:16:29,726 --> 00:16:32,030 is... 238 00:16:32,097 --> 00:16:34,434 transcend. 239 00:18:21,382 --> 00:18:23,820 Well done, Sam. 240 00:18:24,989 --> 00:18:26,826 Well done. 241 00:20:41,663 --> 00:20:43,032 Your IV drip is empty. 242 00:20:43,098 --> 00:20:45,169 When was the last time the nurse checked on you? 243 00:20:47,207 --> 00:20:48,476 Okay, shh, shh. 244 00:20:58,062 --> 00:21:01,268 Goddamn it. Where is everyone? 245 00:21:04,407 --> 00:21:06,813 I'm bringing you water. 246 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,331 - You got it? - Mm-hmm. 247 00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,039 Okay. 248 00:21:20,106 --> 00:21:21,843 There you go. 249 00:21:29,057 --> 00:21:32,598 There you go. 250 00:21:32,665 --> 00:21:34,669 Okay? 251 00:21:43,452 --> 00:21:44,521 Okay. 252 00:21:44,589 --> 00:21:47,060 Okay. 253 00:21:47,126 --> 00:21:50,801 I... picked up your meds. 254 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,013 Mr. Read. 255 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,382 It's about time. 256 00:21:58,449 --> 00:22:00,052 Where the fuck is everybody? 257 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,658 His drip is empty, and when was the last time he was fed? 258 00:22:02,725 --> 00:22:04,003 Can you give us the room, please? 259 00:22:04,027 --> 00:22:05,531 Anything that you have to say 260 00:22:05,597 --> 00:22:06,842 to him, you can say to me. I'm his lover. 261 00:22:06,866 --> 00:22:08,378 If you're not a relative, then it's against 262 00:22:08,402 --> 00:22:09,781 - the hospital policy... - Oh, come on. 263 00:22:09,805 --> 00:22:10,884 He can stay. Please, he can stay. He can stay. 264 00:22:10,908 --> 00:22:11,843 Fine. 265 00:22:11,910 --> 00:22:12,945 Please sit. 266 00:22:13,012 --> 00:22:15,316 Come sit down. 267 00:22:15,383 --> 00:22:17,520 We've, uh, 268 00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:19,759 gotten back your retinal imagining, and 269 00:22:19,825 --> 00:22:21,963 unfortunately the cytomegalovirus has completely 270 00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:25,604 detached both retinas from the backs of your eyes. 271 00:22:25,671 --> 00:22:27,240 So, what-what does that mean? 272 00:22:27,307 --> 00:22:28,810 The blindness is permanent. 273 00:22:30,179 --> 00:22:32,016 But, I mean, can't you operate? 274 00:22:32,083 --> 00:22:33,252 It's a, it's a, it's a 275 00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:35,323 detachment, so you just, you reattach it. 276 00:22:35,389 --> 00:22:38,563 AIDS patients aren't eligible for these kinds of operations. 277 00:22:38,630 --> 00:22:40,734 They're not eligible? 278 00:22:40,801 --> 00:22:42,270 Even if he was, 279 00:22:42,337 --> 00:22:43,707 it's a complicated procedure. 280 00:22:43,773 --> 00:22:45,118 You know, this is what you people always say. 281 00:22:45,142 --> 00:22:47,848 It's always too complicated. You're a doctor. 282 00:22:47,915 --> 00:22:49,493 If you don't have any other questions, 283 00:22:49,517 --> 00:22:50,954 I will leave you two alone. 284 00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:52,634 Oh, I have plenty of other questions. 285 00:22:52,658 --> 00:22:53,903 When is a cure coming? Why isn't it here yet? 286 00:22:53,927 --> 00:22:55,038 You should be ashamed of yourself. 287 00:22:55,062 --> 00:22:56,064 This is a fucking horror. 288 00:22:56,131 --> 00:22:57,735 Gino... 289 00:22:57,801 --> 00:23:00,574 can't you just be here with me? 290 00:23:03,412 --> 00:23:05,016 I'm scared. 291 00:23:12,598 --> 00:23:14,000 You want some applesauce? 292 00:23:14,067 --> 00:23:16,104 I got the good kind, the kind with the cinnamon. 293 00:23:16,171 --> 00:23:17,173 Okay. 294 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,545 - Yeah? - Yeah. 295 00:23:23,285 --> 00:23:24,889 Okay. 296 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,331 Here we go. 297 00:23:29,397 --> 00:23:32,437 Okay. Okay, here we go. Right... 298 00:23:32,503 --> 00:23:35,009 there, right there. 299 00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:42,256 Fuck. 300 00:23:42,323 --> 00:23:44,294 Oh, fuck. 301 00:23:44,361 --> 00:23:46,799 Oh, shit. 302 00:23:46,866 --> 00:23:48,502 Ugh... 303 00:23:51,174 --> 00:23:54,047 I want you to sell my life insurance policy. 304 00:23:54,114 --> 00:23:56,686 There's a cash reserve. 305 00:23:56,753 --> 00:23:58,122 It'll pay for my funeral. 306 00:23:58,188 --> 00:24:00,092 Come on, come on, don't talk like that, Patrick. 307 00:24:00,159 --> 00:24:01,839 - This... - No, no, no, no, no, no, come on. 308 00:24:01,896 --> 00:24:05,704 If you don't sell it, it'll just go to my parents. 309 00:24:07,574 --> 00:24:10,279 I don't want that, okay? 310 00:24:10,346 --> 00:24:13,452 I don't want it to go to them. I want it to go to you. 311 00:24:13,519 --> 00:24:15,624 Please. 312 00:24:17,828 --> 00:24:20,299 - Okay. I promise. - Yeah? 313 00:24:20,366 --> 00:24:21,366 Mm-hmm. 314 00:24:21,401 --> 00:24:24,675 I love you so much. 315 00:24:35,429 --> 00:24:38,001 Okay, all right, here. 316 00:24:59,444 --> 00:25:02,150 Uh... help. 317 00:25:05,624 --> 00:25:07,928 Help me, please. 318 00:25:31,208 --> 00:25:32,911 Shit. 319 00:25:39,057 --> 00:25:41,128 Ow. 320 00:26:13,459 --> 00:26:14,795 Anybody? 321 00:26:49,397 --> 00:26:50,867 Hello? 322 00:26:57,614 --> 00:26:59,083 Nurse? 323 00:27:02,190 --> 00:27:03,258 Nurse? 324 00:27:05,831 --> 00:27:07,200 Somebody there? 325 00:27:10,540 --> 00:27:12,009 Hello? 326 00:27:13,646 --> 00:27:14,915 Who's that? Please. 327 00:27:14,982 --> 00:27:17,788 Speak up, please, please. 328 00:27:22,965 --> 00:27:25,770 Open your eyes. 329 00:27:26,839 --> 00:27:28,810 They are open. 330 00:27:29,645 --> 00:27:31,381 Look at me, Patrick. 331 00:27:32,283 --> 00:27:34,822 I can't, I can't... 332 00:27:48,181 --> 00:27:49,818 I can see. 333 00:27:52,323 --> 00:27:53,693 I can see. 334 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,466 I can s-see... I can see you. 335 00:27:57,534 --> 00:27:58,970 I can see. 336 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,980 You cried when you saw me in this. 337 00:28:10,894 --> 00:28:13,198 Are you here to punish me? 338 00:28:13,265 --> 00:28:14,702 No. 339 00:28:16,338 --> 00:28:18,576 Sweetheart... 340 00:28:19,377 --> 00:28:22,016 There's nothing left of you to punish. 341 00:28:22,751 --> 00:28:25,089 I'm here to help you see. 342 00:29:02,898 --> 00:29:05,269 Do you remember this? 343 00:29:07,173 --> 00:29:09,812 Hey. Downtown Native. 344 00:29:09,878 --> 00:29:11,290 You gonna tell me what happened here, 345 00:29:11,314 --> 00:29:12,827 or am I gonna have to figure it out myself? 346 00:29:12,851 --> 00:29:14,387 Okay, do me a favor and mind the line. 347 00:29:14,454 --> 00:29:15,933 All right, all right, all right, all right. 348 00:29:15,957 --> 00:29:17,193 - I'll mind it. - Gino. 349 00:29:17,259 --> 00:29:20,800 The day after Halloween, 1980. 350 00:29:20,867 --> 00:29:23,271 It was the day you two first met. 351 00:29:23,338 --> 00:29:26,846 We were still married, but you were unhappy. 352 00:29:26,912 --> 00:29:28,783 All right, now your turn, what's the story? 353 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,419 Okay, saucebox. 354 00:29:30,486 --> 00:29:33,826 The story is, the kid fell from the fire escape. 355 00:29:34,628 --> 00:29:36,197 Oh, that explains the mess. 356 00:29:36,264 --> 00:29:38,803 He threw himself out the window high on PCP. 357 00:29:38,870 --> 00:29:40,406 An angel on angel dust. 358 00:29:40,472 --> 00:29:43,311 - Right. - There's got to be another way out. 359 00:29:43,378 --> 00:29:45,315 People like us. 360 00:29:45,382 --> 00:29:48,055 We just need someplace to go, right? 361 00:29:49,457 --> 00:29:50,359 How do you mean? 362 00:29:50,426 --> 00:29:52,764 Somewhere to go. Do you want to...? 363 00:29:52,831 --> 00:29:55,069 What? Do I, do I, do I want to what? 364 00:29:55,135 --> 00:29:57,340 There was something about his swagger. 365 00:30:04,955 --> 00:30:06,859 I'm Gino. 366 00:30:06,926 --> 00:30:09,497 Don't keep me flapping too long. 367 00:30:22,657 --> 00:30:24,995 August 1977... 368 00:30:25,062 --> 00:30:27,366 There was a holdup at a bodega 369 00:30:27,433 --> 00:30:29,303 and your partner shot the suspect. 370 00:30:31,007 --> 00:30:32,176 Here we go, here you go. 371 00:30:33,813 --> 00:30:35,650 He was gonna shoot first, right? 372 00:30:35,717 --> 00:30:38,021 - Right, Patrick? - Right. 373 00:30:38,088 --> 00:30:40,192 You did the right thing, Steve. 374 00:30:40,259 --> 00:30:42,396 We'll take the report later. Go get him cleaned up. 375 00:30:42,463 --> 00:30:44,635 - Yes, sir. - Oh, God. 376 00:30:44,701 --> 00:30:45,703 Oh, God. 377 00:30:45,770 --> 00:30:48,008 Come on, it's okay, come on. 378 00:30:51,181 --> 00:30:53,085 Steve shouldn't have pulled his trigger. 379 00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:55,055 You had things under control. 380 00:30:55,122 --> 00:30:56,491 What have I done? 381 00:30:56,559 --> 00:30:59,130 Now there was blood on your hands. 382 00:30:59,197 --> 00:31:00,600 You know what? I'd... 383 00:31:00,667 --> 00:31:03,706 I'd have done exactly the same thing, buddy. 384 00:31:03,773 --> 00:31:04,942 Really. 385 00:31:05,008 --> 00:31:07,213 A lie. 386 00:31:07,279 --> 00:31:10,419 But you already knew how shame could break a young man. 387 00:31:10,486 --> 00:31:11,956 You got a, uh... 388 00:31:12,022 --> 00:31:15,295 Behind your ear... 389 00:31:23,980 --> 00:31:25,683 Come here, come here. 390 00:31:27,954 --> 00:31:29,123 Okay? 391 00:31:29,190 --> 00:31:30,994 You could be so tender 392 00:31:31,060 --> 00:31:33,198 when you let yourself be, Patrick. 393 00:32:00,018 --> 00:32:01,387 What the hell? 394 00:32:01,454 --> 00:32:03,191 It was either you or him. 395 00:32:03,258 --> 00:32:05,362 More blood down the drain... 396 00:32:05,429 --> 00:32:06,899 Fuck away from me, faggot! 397 00:32:06,966 --> 00:32:08,803 What the fuck is going on in there? 398 00:32:08,870 --> 00:32:11,575 He just, uh, he came onto me. He was kissing my fucking face! 399 00:32:11,642 --> 00:32:13,980 Get out of here, Read. Go! 400 00:32:15,349 --> 00:32:17,621 It was a violent lie. 401 00:32:17,687 --> 00:32:20,058 One that wounded you both. 402 00:32:22,564 --> 00:32:25,570 The shame. The lies. The violence. 403 00:32:26,872 --> 00:32:28,341 It's a cycle, Patrick. 404 00:32:28,408 --> 00:32:30,547 Get the fuck out. 405 00:32:31,414 --> 00:32:32,851 You didn't start it, 406 00:32:32,918 --> 00:32:36,659 but that didn't stop it from breaking you into pieces. 407 00:32:50,954 --> 00:32:52,657 Oh, God. 408 00:32:56,164 --> 00:32:57,466 I can't do it. 409 00:32:57,534 --> 00:33:00,138 Almost. You're close. 410 00:33:01,107 --> 00:33:03,111 Just make the parts fit. 411 00:33:03,178 --> 00:33:05,148 I don't want to. 412 00:33:06,084 --> 00:33:07,253 Neither did I. 413 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:10,058 But I did it to help people. 414 00:33:10,125 --> 00:33:11,562 To help people like me. 415 00:33:11,629 --> 00:33:13,669 People who needed my help because no one else would. 416 00:33:13,733 --> 00:33:17,106 But it's so... ugly. 417 00:33:17,172 --> 00:33:19,377 Oh, here we go. 418 00:33:19,443 --> 00:33:21,014 So what? 419 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,318 The scars are not attractive? 420 00:33:23,385 --> 00:33:25,690 Maybe you could cover them up, then. 421 00:33:25,757 --> 00:33:27,092 You'll be all right. 422 00:33:27,159 --> 00:33:29,163 Hide them under a uniform. 423 00:33:31,669 --> 00:33:33,338 Put on the head. 424 00:33:36,812 --> 00:33:37,847 Ugh. Never mind. 425 00:33:37,914 --> 00:33:39,685 I'll do it myself. 426 00:33:55,048 --> 00:33:57,621 This is you, Patrick. 427 00:33:57,687 --> 00:33:58,689 You were botched up, 428 00:33:58,756 --> 00:34:00,560 just a mess of a person 429 00:34:00,627 --> 00:34:03,699 throwing yourself down all those escape hatches. 430 00:34:04,367 --> 00:34:06,805 You gathered up all those pieces 431 00:34:06,872 --> 00:34:11,047 and put yourself back together over and over again. 432 00:34:11,114 --> 00:34:13,586 Why did you keep doing that? 433 00:34:14,721 --> 00:34:16,592 Did it make it stop? 434 00:34:17,627 --> 00:34:19,096 What? 435 00:34:19,163 --> 00:34:21,635 That pain. 436 00:34:22,637 --> 00:34:25,743 The pain that made you tear yourself up in the first place. 437 00:34:25,810 --> 00:34:28,381 Your body will keep reminding you of it 438 00:34:28,448 --> 00:34:29,885 until you face that. 439 00:34:29,952 --> 00:34:32,156 Face what? 440 00:34:33,024 --> 00:34:35,830 This, son, is a snub-nosed revolver. 441 00:34:35,897 --> 00:34:37,801 Easy to handle. 442 00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:39,203 Powerful for its size. 443 00:34:39,270 --> 00:34:40,573 Plenty of people met God... 444 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,376 I really don't want to be here. 445 00:34:42,443 --> 00:34:45,115 You need to face this moment. 446 00:34:45,182 --> 00:34:46,885 I remember what happens. 447 00:34:49,323 --> 00:34:52,329 Now... your turn. 448 00:34:52,396 --> 00:34:54,166 Show me your stance, son. 449 00:34:54,935 --> 00:34:56,739 Good. Get the target in sight. 450 00:34:56,805 --> 00:35:00,145 Hold steady, then shoot. 451 00:35:10,933 --> 00:35:12,771 You're not hitting the target 452 00:35:12,837 --> 00:35:14,373 because your grip isn't firm enough. 453 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:15,610 Huh, you what they call that? 454 00:35:15,677 --> 00:35:18,281 - Limp wristing. - Yes, sir. 455 00:35:26,832 --> 00:35:29,604 So, how about it? Are you a limp wrist? 456 00:35:29,671 --> 00:35:31,875 - No, sir. - Then prove it. 457 00:35:31,942 --> 00:35:33,178 Don't you want to wear a badge 458 00:35:33,244 --> 00:35:35,015 like your old man and your grandpa, huh? 459 00:35:35,082 --> 00:35:37,319 Make us proud. 460 00:35:42,864 --> 00:35:44,333 Steady your aim 461 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,872 and hit the goddamn target this time. 462 00:35:49,778 --> 00:35:51,815 Come on. 463 00:35:54,821 --> 00:35:57,092 Goddamn it! 464 00:35:57,159 --> 00:35:59,865 Your sissy little limp wrist is gonna get us killed! 465 00:36:01,668 --> 00:36:03,204 Goddamn it. 466 00:36:04,941 --> 00:36:07,680 I didn't know if he was reloading for the target 467 00:36:07,747 --> 00:36:09,450 or for me. 468 00:36:10,820 --> 00:36:12,089 I can do it. 469 00:36:12,156 --> 00:36:14,393 Do what? Huh? This? 470 00:36:14,460 --> 00:36:17,567 And this? And this? 471 00:36:18,569 --> 00:36:19,604 And this? 472 00:36:19,671 --> 00:36:21,809 You can't even handle the sound. 473 00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:23,813 Think we had earmuffs on Okinawa? 474 00:36:23,879 --> 00:36:25,983 Huh, cover our ears like little girls? 475 00:36:26,050 --> 00:36:28,989 Had to fire and fight because it was kill or be killed. 476 00:36:29,056 --> 00:36:30,793 We're done. 477 00:36:52,503 --> 00:36:55,275 It's worse than I remember. 478 00:37:17,319 --> 00:37:18,789 Gino. 479 00:37:18,856 --> 00:37:20,325 Hmm? 480 00:37:20,392 --> 00:37:23,231 I'm glad you're here. 481 00:37:23,298 --> 00:37:26,404 I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. 482 00:37:30,813 --> 00:37:32,483 I'm sorry. 483 00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:35,121 - No. - I'm so sorry. 484 00:37:35,188 --> 00:37:36,992 No, no, no, no, no, no. 485 00:37:37,059 --> 00:37:40,432 You don't have anything to be sorry about. 486 00:37:46,979 --> 00:37:49,450 I don't know... 487 00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:51,622 what's real. 488 00:37:51,688 --> 00:37:53,391 I know. 489 00:37:54,527 --> 00:37:56,297 It's the sickness, baby. 490 00:37:56,364 --> 00:37:58,234 It's okay, I got you. 491 00:38:01,174 --> 00:38:03,444 Okay, I got you. 492 00:38:03,511 --> 00:38:05,248 It's okay. 493 00:38:28,294 --> 00:38:30,432 I'm here. I'm here. 494 00:38:30,498 --> 00:38:33,271 I've got you. I've got you. 495 00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:34,667 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX 496 00:41:34,734 --> 00:41:39,209 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org