1
00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:02,266
Can I grab a doughnut?
2
00:00:02,291 --> 00:00:03,824
You talkin' to me?
3
00:00:03,849 --> 00:00:06,892
I... You talkin' to me?
4
00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:08,008
Must be talkin' to me.
5
00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:09,311
There ain't nobody else here.
6
00:00:09,336 --> 00:00:11,296
I am talking to you. Can
I please have a doughnut?
7
00:00:11,321 --> 00:00:12,867
Yeah, go ahead.
8
00:00:12,938 --> 00:00:15,564
Melissa is
bad at impressions.
9
00:00:15,589 --> 00:00:18,341
And
we are scared to tell her.
10
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,200
We just did
impressions of each other.
11
00:00:20,225 --> 00:00:21,893
Could you tell?
12
00:00:21,982 --> 00:00:22,967
Guys!
13
00:00:22,992 --> 00:00:23,984
Come get a doughnut. Come on.
14
00:00:23,985 --> 00:00:25,442
Get 'em while they're fresh.
15
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,236
Surprising no one, I
do not like doughnuts,
16
00:00:27,237 --> 00:00:29,614
so for that reason, I
will decline your offer.
17
00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:32,950
I actually love
doughnuts.
18
00:00:32,951 --> 00:00:34,285
You come to my house
19
00:00:34,286 --> 00:00:36,787
on the day my doughnut
is to be married,
20
00:00:36,788 --> 00:00:38,873
and you ask me for a fritter.
21
00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:43,294
Only one? Yeah.
22
00:00:43,295 --> 00:00:44,962
You'll be back.
23
00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:46,547
Life
is like a box of choc...
24
00:00:46,548 --> 00:00:47,631
Melissa, you're
bad at impressions!
25
00:00:47,632 --> 00:00:50,509
You're...
26
00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:52,261
No doughnut for you!
27
00:00:52,262 --> 00:00:53,971
Okay. Now, that was good.
28
00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:07,776
Class, pay attention.
29
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:11,405
Mrs. Howard has graciously
sacrificed her free period
30
00:01:11,406 --> 00:01:12,740
to encourage you all
to get more involved
31
00:01:12,741 --> 00:01:14,450
in the fundraiser.
32
00:01:14,451 --> 00:01:17,870
For the record, I hate hustle
culture, but this is important.
33
00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:19,788
Thank you, Mr. Hill.
34
00:01:19,789 --> 00:01:23,417
Unfortunately, this fundraiser
is a necessary evil.
35
00:01:23,418 --> 00:01:25,711
But when you are out
there selling your candy,
36
00:01:25,712 --> 00:01:27,338
hold your head up high.
37
00:01:27,339 --> 00:01:29,506
We are not asking for handouts.
38
00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:31,467
Well...
39
00:01:31,468 --> 00:01:33,344
I'm leading the fundraising
effort for the field trip
40
00:01:33,345 --> 00:01:35,346
to the Franklin Institute.
41
00:01:35,347 --> 00:01:37,306
It is so important
for our students
42
00:01:37,307 --> 00:01:40,976
to experience a
world-renowned science museum.
43
00:01:40,977 --> 00:01:43,228
And we may not have
discretionary funds,
44
00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:48,567
but we've got grit, guts,
and a lot of chocolate.
45
00:01:48,568 --> 00:01:52,738
Always make strong but
respectful eye contact.
46
00:01:52,739 --> 00:01:54,114
Ooh, I got one.
47
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,532
In the words of Biggie Smalls,
48
00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:57,951
"Never get high on
your own supply."
49
00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:00,954
Baby, baby.
50
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:03,791
And what do we say when
someone refuses your offer?
51
00:02:03,792 --> 00:02:04,792
Suck it, boomer!
52
00:02:06,044 --> 00:02:08,504
I don't know who
Boomer is, but no.
53
00:02:08,505 --> 00:02:12,841
What we say is, "Thank
you for your time."
54
00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,968
Thank you for your time.
55
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,679
Hmm.
56
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,181
No, thank you.
57
00:02:19,599 --> 00:02:22,101
Ms. Teagues, people aren't
paying attention to us.
58
00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:23,852
Don't give up yet, David.
59
00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:25,187
Sometimes you just got to
60
00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:26,313
put on a little show, you know,
61
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:27,816
so that they can't
ignore us, right?
62
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:31,610
Excuse... Excuse me, ma'am.
63
00:02:31,611 --> 00:02:33,195
It's not the most current dance,
64
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,556
but, uh, I do it
really well, so...
65
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:37,825
Hello, sir.
66
00:02:37,826 --> 00:02:39,284
May I interest you in
some delicious candy?
67
00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:40,786
Hell no.
68
00:02:40,787 --> 00:02:43,080
Good luck with your fake
basketball team, though.
69
00:02:43,081 --> 00:02:45,124
Oh, hey, Maurice, you came.
70
00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:47,626
Yeah, you know I love
an impromptu slide.
71
00:02:47,627 --> 00:02:49,420
Wait. So these are your
students selling the candy?
72
00:02:49,421 --> 00:02:51,463
Yes, but, you know,
they're a little sad
73
00:02:51,464 --> 00:02:53,382
because people aren't
really buying, so...
74
00:02:53,383 --> 00:02:54,591
I hate to seeing the
lil' homies down.
75
00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:55,592
Yeah.
76
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,052
What about $10 worth of candy?
77
00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:58,637
Really? Yeah, of course.
78
00:02:58,638 --> 00:02:59,680
Wow!
79
00:02:59,681 --> 00:03:01,223
Thank you.
80
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,224
Guys...
81
00:03:03,935 --> 00:03:05,227
That's called game.
82
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,895
You'll know about it one day.
83
00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:09,314
Maurice and I have been texting
since we met at the hookah bar,
84
00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:12,025
and it turns out he
lives really close by.
85
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,819
He sends a lot of pictures
of white celebrities
86
00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:15,738
that look alike.
87
00:03:15,739 --> 00:03:19,742
And he never says "lol" or
"lmao" or, like, "hahaha."
88
00:03:19,743 --> 00:03:22,786
He actually sends a voice
message of himself laughing.
89
00:03:22,787 --> 00:03:24,079
Like, listen.
90
00:03:27,292 --> 00:03:28,876
Hoo!
91
00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:31,712
Yeah, he's just a
really genuine guy, so.
92
00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:33,922
I was wondering, you know, maybe
we can get together sometime?
93
00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,215
Without children present.
94
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:36,258
Unless you want to
go, like, bowling
95
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:39,386
or to the movies or mini golf.
96
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:41,722
Man, children really
be everywhere.
97
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:44,183
So, like a date?
98
00:03:44,184 --> 00:03:45,851
If you say yes.
99
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:48,103
If not, I'm suggesting
a group activity.
100
00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:49,104
Okay.
101
00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:50,564
Well, I say yes.
102
00:03:50,565 --> 00:03:51,565
Cool.
103
00:03:55,528 --> 00:03:56,612
Come on, now.
104
00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:57,864
I don't bite.
105
00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:01,241
Oh. Whose cat is this?
106
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,910
I don't know, I just
found him in here.
107
00:04:02,911 --> 00:04:04,328
He won't budge.
108
00:04:04,329 --> 00:04:05,163
Think I'll get some bacon
from the lunch lady,
109
00:04:05,164 --> 00:04:06,164
try to lure him out.
110
00:04:06,165 --> 00:04:07,623
Cats are pescatarians!
111
00:04:07,624 --> 00:04:09,791
You're telling me this
cat believes in God?
112
00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:12,878
What... N... Let me show
you how it's done, okay?
113
00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:14,588
Come here.
114
00:04:14,589 --> 00:04:17,925
Come here little
Cinnamon Cupcake Hill.
115
00:04:17,926 --> 00:04:19,760
His name is Milton. Okay.
116
00:04:19,761 --> 00:04:21,887
I'm pretty sure nobody would
ever name a cat "Milton."
117
00:04:21,888 --> 00:04:23,348
Hi.
118
00:04:26,017 --> 00:04:27,518
What you doing here, Henry?
119
00:04:27,519 --> 00:04:29,895
Came to warn me about
a flood?
120
00:04:29,896 --> 00:04:31,855
I just had another growth
spurt, and I don't know
121
00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:33,232
if I'm gonna be able to
get a new pair of pants
122
00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:35,192
before the end of the year.
123
00:04:35,193 --> 00:04:36,985
I'm getting roasted
alive out here.
124
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:38,570
What they saying?
125
00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:40,572
"Ever think about introducing
your pants to your shoes?"
126
00:04:40,573 --> 00:04:42,282
Oh, man. So funny.
127
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,659
These should work.
128
00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,577
Thanks, Principal Coleman.
129
00:04:45,578 --> 00:04:47,287
I see you selling
those Wonka Bars.
130
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:48,206
Let me hear your sales pitch.
131
00:04:48,207 --> 00:04:49,665
Pssh. Do I have to?
132
00:04:49,666 --> 00:04:53,085
Yes, Bruce Banner in the middle
of a transformation, you do.
133
00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:57,297
Excuse me, sir, ma'am, or
otherwise identifying human.
134
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,007
Sorry to interrupt your day.
135
00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:01,593
My school is raising
money to see science.
136
00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:03,929
Would you consider
buying a chocolate bar?
137
00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,013
Boy, you couldn't sell a scarf
138
00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:06,265
to Lenny Kravitz
with that pitch.
139
00:05:06,266 --> 00:05:07,558
Who taught you to
sell like that?
140
00:05:07,559 --> 00:05:09,476
Mrs. Howard. Of course.
141
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,103
She's still using
the tactics of a man
142
00:05:11,104 --> 00:05:12,229
who could turn water into wine
143
00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:14,022
and still only had 12 friends.
144
00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:16,358
Now go put those pants on
before I think of another joke.
145
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:18,068
See you later,
Principal Coleman.
146
00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:21,029
Before you go, how long have
Chris and Liam been lost?
147
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,656
Who? Chris and Liam.
148
00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:26,743
'Cause you missing a couple
Hems-worths.
149
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,161
Here all night.
150
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:30,622
And now to update our total.
151
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,458
Whoo!
152
00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:37,087
Yay!
153
00:05:39,007 --> 00:05:40,007
Oh.
154
00:05:40,008 --> 00:05:41,258
No.
155
00:05:41,259 --> 00:05:44,303
Okay, look, we don't
need money to go.
156
00:05:44,304 --> 00:05:47,222
We just pick the locks on the
doors of the Franklin Institute.
157
00:05:47,223 --> 00:05:48,849
Yeah, just get one
open in the back,
158
00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:50,851
cause a commotion in front, and
while everyone's distracted,
159
00:05:50,852 --> 00:05:52,436
you just file a couple
hundred kids past.
160
00:05:52,437 --> 00:05:53,478
I got this.
161
00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:56,523
And as foolproof as that sounds,
162
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,275
I think we're gonna have
to cancel the field trip.
163
00:05:58,276 --> 00:06:00,569
Oh, God, but the
kids are so excited!
164
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:01,945
That's really helpful, Janine.
165
00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,823
Okay. She's robbed a child.
166
00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:06,033
Relax, Conan O'Crien.
167
00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:07,618
These are Franklin Franklins.
168
00:06:07,619 --> 00:06:08,994
I just took a few of
the kids under my wing,
169
00:06:08,995 --> 00:06:11,663
and we sold out faster
than a Black politician.
170
00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:13,248
Thank you, Ava.
171
00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,083
But I'm about ready
to throw in the towel.
172
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,710
Are you sure?
173
00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:18,253
'Cause it seems like I could
solve this thing like that.
174
00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:19,630
But if you insist on failing,
175
00:06:19,631 --> 00:06:20,714
I could just take this money
176
00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:22,174
and put it towards
my jet ski fund.
177
00:06:22,175 --> 00:06:24,051
Lake Wallenpaupack, here I come!
178
00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:25,469
Reer, reer!
179
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:27,638
Well, based on a
quick calculation,
180
00:06:27,639 --> 00:06:30,015
if Ava keeps this up, we
would definitely hit our goal.
181
00:06:30,016 --> 00:06:32,476
That's what I've been
trying to say to y'all.
182
00:06:32,477 --> 00:06:34,061
You know, Barbara, I
know the last thing
183
00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:35,562
you want to do is work with Ava,
184
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,023
but maybe just this one
time, it's worth it.
185
00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:40,151
Yeah. You know,
for... for the kids.
186
00:06:42,028 --> 00:06:43,946
Ava. Mm.
187
00:06:43,947 --> 00:06:49,868
I will be taking some students
to sell candy after school.
188
00:06:49,869 --> 00:06:51,536
Would you like to join us?
189
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:54,415
I would love to spearhead
this get schmoney project.
190
00:06:59,671 --> 00:07:00,546
Say I'm a hero.
191
00:07:00,547 --> 00:07:01,922
No.
192
00:07:01,923 --> 00:07:04,007
Say I'm a hero. No.
193
00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:05,926
Say it.
194
00:07:05,927 --> 00:07:07,007
You're thinking it, though.
195
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,806
All right, students,
Principal Coleman
196
00:07:10,807 --> 00:07:12,182
is going to take the lead today.
197
00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:14,768
She has a few new tactics
that she thinks can help us.
198
00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:18,980
But please do not forget
everything that I taught you.
199
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:20,440
Do forget everything
she taught you.
200
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:21,900
Toss it right out of the window.
201
00:07:21,901 --> 00:07:24,069
First lesson... act like
you've already made a sale.
202
00:07:24,070 --> 00:07:26,488
Courtney, you're with me.
203
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,323
How many bars did
you say you wanted?
204
00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:29,491
What?
205
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,451
I said, how many candy
bars did you tell
206
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:35,163
this adorable child that
you would be purchasing?
207
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:36,915
Fine. I'll take one.
208
00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:38,250
You got change?
209
00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:39,459
Some people might
ask for change,
210
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,711
but those people
aren't Sam Cooke,
211
00:07:40,712 --> 00:07:42,838
so change is not gonna come.
212
00:07:42,839 --> 00:07:44,631
Sorry, we don't have change.
213
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,508
Yoink.
214
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:47,759
Next lesson.
215
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,302
Nobody likes to buy
things from happy people,
216
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,722
so I suggest you come up
with an illness for yourself.
217
00:07:51,723 --> 00:07:53,265
My go-to is polio.
218
00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:56,476
Ava, no. Barb, polio is back.
219
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,270
Poke yourself in the
eyes if you have to.
220
00:07:58,271 --> 00:08:00,063
Tears might as well have
dollar signs in them.
221
00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:03,817
And you're gonna wanna look
out for liberal white people.
222
00:08:03,818 --> 00:08:06,278
Actually, I consider
myself to be a progressive.
223
00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:08,238
Is there a difference?
224
00:08:08,239 --> 00:08:09,448
You'll be able to spot them,
225
00:08:09,449 --> 00:08:10,849
because they'll be
making this face.
226
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,869
If you can't sell
candy bars to them,
227
00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:15,287
you're unteachable.
228
00:08:15,288 --> 00:08:17,706
Ow! Oh, Malika, are you okay?
229
00:08:17,707 --> 00:08:19,541
No.
230
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:21,293
But I'd feel a lot better
if you bought some candy
231
00:08:21,294 --> 00:08:24,463
from me, an at-risk Black youth.
232
00:08:24,464 --> 00:08:26,173
All right, that's it!
You've gone too far.
233
00:08:26,174 --> 00:08:27,257
May I have a word with you, Ava?
234
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:29,301
We'll be right back.
235
00:08:29,302 --> 00:08:30,927
Ava, I thought
you wanted me here
236
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,095
for an educational emergency.
237
00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:33,180
Oh, you played your part.
238
00:08:33,181 --> 00:08:34,223
Thank you.
239
00:08:36,184 --> 00:08:38,977
Ava, when I asked for your help,
240
00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:41,062
I did not think that you
would be turning our students
241
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:43,356
into a bunch of scammers!
242
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:47,778
And you are lucky that God
still needs people to forgive.
243
00:08:47,779 --> 00:08:49,279
Well, I don't know what
to tell you, Barbara.
244
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,906
This is how you break
through the noise.
245
00:08:50,907 --> 00:08:52,365
You can go back to
doing it how you were,
246
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,784
but you know where
that's gonna get you.
247
00:08:53,785 --> 00:08:55,702
But you just go too far.
248
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:58,872
These tactics are aggressive,
they're predatory.
249
00:08:58,873 --> 00:09:01,541
I feel like a
check-cashing store.
250
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,126
Fine, I'm sure we could
come to a compromise
251
00:09:03,127 --> 00:09:04,127
and still reach our goal.
252
00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:07,255
No lying. And no
racial profiling.
253
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,256
Those were the same rules I had
254
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:10,342
when I was selling for the ACLU.
255
00:09:10,343 --> 00:09:12,178
Oh. American Candy
Lovers United.
256
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,097
Oh. Hey, Gregory.
257
00:09:15,098 --> 00:09:16,640
How was Podcast Club?
258
00:09:16,641 --> 00:09:17,808
Well, Ava needed Jacob
259
00:09:17,809 --> 00:09:19,434
for what was obviously
a fake emergency,
260
00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:20,936
so it was just me
and the kids. Mm.
261
00:09:20,937 --> 00:09:22,145
It's actually the
best it's ever been.
262
00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,772
How was step without Ava?
263
00:09:23,773 --> 00:09:26,108
Oh, Shayla said my
choreography was so old,
264
00:09:26,109 --> 00:09:27,776
I got it from Shakespeare.
265
00:09:27,777 --> 00:09:29,820
Then all the kids started
calling me Stomp the Bard,
266
00:09:29,821 --> 00:09:31,279
so pretty much the
same.
267
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,906
It's good.
268
00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:34,199
Oh, hey, guess who I
ran into yesterday.
269
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,200
Jacob? Uh, no.
270
00:09:35,201 --> 00:09:36,201
Melissa? No.
271
00:09:36,202 --> 00:09:37,369
Barbara? Okay, I guess
272
00:09:37,370 --> 00:09:38,995
it was more rhetorical,
but Maurice!
273
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:40,622
Yeah. And guess what.
274
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,958
Actually, don't. He
asked me out on a date.
275
00:09:44,877 --> 00:09:46,211
Um...
276
00:09:46,212 --> 00:09:48,421
wow. Right?
277
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,423
Or no? I can't tell
by your reaction.
278
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,925
Uh, uh, um, no, no, no.
279
00:09:51,926 --> 00:09:52,718
It's... It's good.
280
00:09:52,719 --> 00:09:54,553
Just, uh...
281
00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:56,096
Hmm. Um...
282
00:09:56,097 --> 00:09:57,931
Just be careful. Why?
283
00:09:57,932 --> 00:09:59,099
Is he a derelict?
284
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,017
Oh, my God. Is he
a ne'er-do-well?
285
00:10:00,018 --> 00:10:02,269
No, no. He's just, um...
286
00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:03,979
He's one of those
all-or-nothing kind of guys.
287
00:10:03,980 --> 00:10:05,689
Intense.
288
00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:07,691
I just, you know, wanted
to give you a heads-up.
289
00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:10,652
Well, if he's someone you need
to give me a heads-up about,
290
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:12,863
then why is he one
of your best friends?
291
00:10:12,864 --> 00:10:14,698
I think we both know
that being friends
292
00:10:14,699 --> 00:10:16,200
is different than dating.
293
00:10:18,703 --> 00:10:20,453
Look, I'm not trying to
talk bad about Maurice.
294
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,538
Really?
295
00:10:21,539 --> 00:10:22,706
'Cause it kinda
seems like you are.
296
00:10:22,707 --> 00:10:24,416
No, it's just, if
this doesn't end well,
297
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:25,834
I don't want it to
blow back on me.
298
00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:27,127
Oh, okay.
299
00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:29,045
Well, I get that. I do.
300
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,463
But I promise you
won't have to worry
301
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,383
about any back getting blown.
302
00:10:35,261 --> 00:10:36,012
I gotta go. Yeah, me too.
303
00:10:36,013 --> 00:10:38,180
Uh-huh. Okay.
304
00:10:38,181 --> 00:10:39,598
You know what? I'm
just... I'm gonna to my...
305
00:10:39,599 --> 00:10:41,058
Thanks.
306
00:10:43,019 --> 00:10:44,019
There you go.
307
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:45,645
Oh, Barb!
308
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:46,980
I have a special announcement
I need you to read.
309
00:10:46,981 --> 00:10:48,607
Oh, please. Does
it have to be me?
310
00:10:48,608 --> 00:10:50,650
I've got to get back
to my classroom.
311
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,195
Just read it.
312
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:58,992
"Good morning, Abbott.
313
00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:01,494
After a few incredible
days of fundraising,
314
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,039
we have reached our goal,
315
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:08,001
and we are going to
the Franklin Institute!
316
00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:12,255
Due in no small part
to Principal Coleman.
317
00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:14,716
Though gorgeous, the...
318
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:17,260
I'm not reading
the rest of this.
319
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,887
We did it, Ava!
320
00:11:18,888 --> 00:11:21,223
And we technically have one
more day of fundraising left.
321
00:11:21,224 --> 00:11:22,265
We could keep
going! No, no, no.
322
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:23,391
I don't wanna push it.
323
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:24,559
Oh, come on, Barb!
324
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,436
If we expand to a new
market and go hard,
325
00:11:26,437 --> 00:11:28,313
there's no telling how
much we could raise.
326
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:30,190
We might even be able to
get a part-time librarian
327
00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:31,900
instead of just an
Alexa with glasses.
328
00:11:31,901 --> 00:11:34,194
Who knows what else! Mm.
329
00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:35,987
I just don't think you're
supposed to give milk to cats.
330
00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:37,697
Every cartoon says you can.
331
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:38,740
Cartoons...
332
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,825
Milk propaganda at its finest.
333
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,911
Did you put any more thought
into getting him microchipped?
334
00:11:42,912 --> 00:11:44,329
Why? So Bill Gates
can sign him up
335
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:45,997
for a credit card
he doesn't need?
336
00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:47,707
Hey, have you looked at the menu
337
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,960
for the spot Mo's
taking you to yet?
338
00:11:49,961 --> 00:11:51,253
'Cause you should already know
339
00:11:51,254 --> 00:11:52,837
what you're ordering
before you get there.
340
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:54,506
Decisive women are hot.
341
00:11:54,507 --> 00:11:57,175
Well, I don't wanna get
anything too, too messy,
342
00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:59,052
so I'm gonna get the beef ribs.
343
00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:00,512
Oh, tell Melissa what Mo did.
344
00:12:00,513 --> 00:12:02,013
Oh, so we're all just
calling him Mo now.
345
00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:03,473
That's...
346
00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:05,642
Well, he bought a bunch
of candy from my kids.
347
00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:07,310
So sweet. Delicious
pun intended.
348
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:08,311
Aww!
349
00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:10,188
Disposable income.
350
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:11,523
You know what?
That reminds me.
351
00:12:11,524 --> 00:12:13,733
I actually wanted to,
um, buy some candy.
352
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,694
I was planning on it before
we started talking about this,
353
00:12:15,695 --> 00:12:17,362
so I'm happy it came up 'cause
I would like to do it right now.
354
00:12:17,363 --> 00:12:18,655
My kids aren't here right now.
355
00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:19,906
Yeah. Can't you buy it
from your own students?
356
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,324
Don't you hate candy?
357
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:22,076
Why are you guys making
it so hard for me
358
00:12:22,077 --> 00:12:23,077
to support young entrepreneurs?
359
00:12:23,078 --> 00:12:24,494
Oh, okay. No, no, no, no.
360
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:26,162
I appreciate you, Gregory.
361
00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:27,664
Thank you for
supporting our students.
362
00:12:27,665 --> 00:12:28,790
Just like Mo!
363
00:12:33,296 --> 00:12:35,380
I thought we'd agreed you'd
put him down for a nap.
364
00:12:35,381 --> 00:12:36,923
We
did no such thing.
365
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,341
Well, it looks like
Cinnamon Cupcake Hill
366
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:39,592
could use a nap.
367
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,511
Isn't that right, my little
four-legged floofikins?
368
00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:42,637
You know, there's a type of nap
369
00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:44,180
that's actually
named after cats.
370
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:45,724
If he needs to sleep, he will.
371
00:12:45,725 --> 00:12:47,684
Well, I am sorry
for being attentive.
372
00:12:47,685 --> 00:12:50,270
Once again, I'm the bad
guy for caring too much.
373
00:12:50,271 --> 00:12:51,896
"Yit-dit-dit-dit-dee.
Yap, yap, yap."
374
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,189
You're so passive aggressive.
375
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,858
You know what? Fine.
Ruin his sleep schedule.
376
00:12:54,859 --> 00:12:56,067
But I'm not gonna stay
here with him all night
377
00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:57,068
when he's got the zoomies.
378
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,194
Fine by me.
379
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,363
I sleep at the
school all the time!
380
00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:06,036
Oh, they're doing
such a good job.
381
00:13:06,037 --> 00:13:07,579
I'm afraid we're gonna
run out of candy!
382
00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:08,955
I know, right?
383
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,165
These kids could sell a
humid day to a silk press.
384
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:12,917
I got Henry out here
running up the score.
385
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:15,754
Oh, here comes Delisha Sloss.
386
00:13:15,755 --> 00:13:17,589
Ain't that that school-board
member you blackmailed?
387
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:18,840
Make her buy some candy.
388
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,508
Oh, I don't have to
make her do anything.
389
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:22,469
They're probably coming from
the pancake house in the mall,
390
00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:24,471
drunk on syrup and
ready to spend.
391
00:13:24,472 --> 00:13:25,722
Well, hello.
392
00:13:25,723 --> 00:13:27,891
And wonderful to see you all.
393
00:13:27,892 --> 00:13:30,143
And to you, as
well, Sister Howard.
394
00:13:30,144 --> 00:13:32,520
I had a feeling these were
Abbott students milling about.
395
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:35,148
You never see any students
from Addington Charter
396
00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:36,733
doing this sort of thing.
397
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:38,318
Well, by "this sort of thing,"
398
00:13:38,319 --> 00:13:41,112
I'm sure you mean
being resourceful
399
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,782
to fill in the gaps
left by the district.
400
00:13:43,783 --> 00:13:45,075
Mm.
401
00:13:45,076 --> 00:13:46,201
Would you like to
buy some candy?
402
00:13:46,202 --> 00:13:47,744
One dollar, please?
403
00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:51,956
Is the candy $1 or $2?
404
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,124
He is correct.
405
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:55,293
It is $1.
406
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:56,795
Well, that's strange.
407
00:13:56,796 --> 00:13:59,339
I already bought a candy
bar from that young man
408
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:02,467
over there earlier,
and he said it was $2.
409
00:14:02,468 --> 00:14:06,679
Well, I'm sure there's
some sort of a mistake.
410
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,847
Henry!
411
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,891
Henry, would you come
over here, please?
412
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,601
Yes, Mrs. Howard?
413
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:16,564
This lady says that you sold
her one candy bar for $2
414
00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:18,316
when they only cost $1.
415
00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:19,984
- Please explain.
- Get it, get it.
416
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:21,277
Um... Get it, get it.
417
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,404
Uh... Yep, wave it.
418
00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:24,572
Oww!
419
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,577
Give the lady her
change, please.
420
00:14:29,829 --> 00:14:32,539
I can't say I'm
surprised to see you
421
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:34,833
shaking down people again.
422
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:37,378
It's simply not church-like.
423
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,675
Ooh, ain't nothin'
but money out here.
424
00:14:43,676 --> 00:14:45,844
Come on, get that
sign... Ava, did you know
425
00:14:45,845 --> 00:14:47,971
that the students were
overcharging for the candy?
426
00:14:47,972 --> 00:14:49,973
Oh, yeah. I told
them to do it.
427
00:14:49,974 --> 00:14:51,142
Great job, Henry.
428
00:14:53,144 --> 00:14:55,353
Why would you tell the children
to overcharge for the candy?
429
00:14:55,354 --> 00:14:56,354
It's called an incentive.
430
00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:57,647
It's why, even
after all the kids
431
00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:58,940
knew the Ava Coleman method,
432
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,567
my group is still outselling
yours like three to one.
433
00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:02,485
What have they been doing
with the extra money?
434
00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,279
Whatever they want.
It's their commission.
435
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,405
Have you never worked retail?
436
00:15:05,406 --> 00:15:08,032
I have been re-telling the
principles of the Bible
437
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:10,493
my entire life.
438
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:12,328
And that is why I am livid
439
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:14,122
that you are teaching
these children to steal!
440
00:15:14,123 --> 00:15:16,166
Steal? Okay, hold on now...
441
00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:18,793
Henry got caught
overcharging Sister Sloss,
442
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:23,339
and I was humiliated in front
of my co-workers in Christ.
443
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,465
Didn't that woman
steal from your church?
444
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:25,675
That is beside the point.
445
00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:27,010
I don't know that it is.
446
00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:29,387
No field trip is worth
corrupting these students.
447
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:30,763
You and I had a deal,
448
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:34,101
and I made a terrible
mistake trusting you.
449
00:15:36,187 --> 00:15:37,770
You wanna pinch my cheeks?
450
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:40,107
My mom says it helps.
451
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:49,490
Well, it's gonna
be a fun one today
452
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:50,783
at Abbott Elementary.
453
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,203
Okay, listen, I'm no lawyer,
454
00:15:53,204 --> 00:15:55,288
but I know a thing or
two about arbitration.
455
00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:58,499
My ex and I were able to settle
custody of our season tickets
456
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,793
to the Phillies out
of court like adults.
457
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,046
I just want what is best
for Cinnamon Cupcake Hill.
458
00:16:03,047 --> 00:16:04,631
All you do is work.
459
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,132
Milton barely knows who you are.
460
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,634
He lives at my job!
461
00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:08,927
Okay, okay, enough.
462
00:16:08,928 --> 00:16:09,803
Let's get to the bottom of this.
463
00:16:09,804 --> 00:16:12,347
Jacob, what do you want?
464
00:16:12,348 --> 00:16:15,308
CC should live with me and
Zach in a two-parent household,
465
00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:17,685
not some geriatric bachelor pad.
466
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:19,187
You don't know what
kind of pad I have
467
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:21,522
or how many parents live there!
468
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:24,317
Although, my furniture
is all leather.
469
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,027
Oh, and a suede loveseat.
470
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,278
So it's sorted.
471
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:29,197
Cat will live with
Jacob full-time
472
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:32,784
but does every other
weekend with Mr. Johnson.
473
00:16:32,785 --> 00:16:35,787
You get all the fun and
little-to-no responsibility.
474
00:16:35,788 --> 00:16:39,666
Believe me, your upholstery
will thank me for it.
475
00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,084
You want a chocolate?
476
00:16:41,085 --> 00:16:41,919
You like chocolate, right?
477
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:42,878
There you go.
478
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:44,254
Yeah.
479
00:16:44,255 --> 00:16:45,797
What, you're giving these away?
480
00:16:45,798 --> 00:16:47,632
You're very observant.
481
00:16:47,633 --> 00:16:49,300
I get that all the time.
482
00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:51,345
People tell me I have
quite the eye for detail.
483
00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:55,556
Well, maybe not
an eye for detail,
484
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:59,352
but I am very good at picking
up on subtle social cues.
485
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,062
You thought Mr. Morton had
a crush on you last year.
486
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,273
Well,
that was before I realized
487
00:17:03,274 --> 00:17:05,566
I have an insecure
attachment style.
488
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,652
I now recognize it for
the disdain that it is.
489
00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:08,903
Jacob, what do you want?
490
00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:10,280
I don't know, man.
491
00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:12,240
You just been weird
about that candy.
492
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:16,536
And as somebody who knows
your spirit, that ain't you.
493
00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:18,246
And the whole Mo thing?
494
00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:22,042
I mean, you seemed not
edgy, but, like, jealous.
495
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:27,964
Oh, my God is a woman!
496
00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:28,924
Gregory, Gregory, Gregory!
497
00:17:28,925 --> 00:17:30,467
Stop or I'll scream.
498
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,931
Do you like Janine?
499
00:17:36,932 --> 00:17:38,766
You're projecting. No,
if I was projecting,
500
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:39,809
I would say, "Do
you love Janine?"
501
00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:40,893
Because I love Janine.
502
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,229
I said "like."
503
00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:46,150
You sound ridiculous.
504
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,698
The plot thickens.
505
00:17:54,992 --> 00:17:56,784
You got something to say
to me, then just say it.
506
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:57,910
I already did.
507
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:58,746
Well, if you got something
else to say to me,
508
00:17:58,747 --> 00:18:00,038
then just say it.
509
00:18:00,039 --> 00:18:01,205
But what you not
gon' do is give me
510
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,624
the cold shoulder in
this school that I own.
511
00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:05,126
Again, the principal
runs the school,
512
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:08,254
does not own the school.
513
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,964
You know how many times
Henry comes to my office
514
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:12,467
needing pants or lunch
money or something?
515
00:18:12,468 --> 00:18:14,594
I'm happy he trusts you
enough to ask for help.
516
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:16,429
It doesn't matter how
much he trusts me.
517
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:18,181
I want to teach him to
make extra money to pocket
518
00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:19,891
so he can take care of himself.
519
00:18:19,892 --> 00:18:21,559
Some of our students
don't have it like that.
520
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,646
I have been an educator longer
than you have been alive,
521
00:18:24,647 --> 00:18:27,065
and I am well aware
of our students'
522
00:18:27,066 --> 00:18:30,234
many stressors and
financial situations.
523
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:34,364
But that does not mean that
they should lie, cheat, or scam.
524
00:18:34,365 --> 00:18:35,490
Nobody got hurt because he sold
525
00:18:35,491 --> 00:18:37,533
that candy for a
little more. I...
526
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,369
And the only reason you get
to have "morals" about this
527
00:18:39,370 --> 00:18:41,287
is because you can afford them.
528
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,498
You didn't grow up having
to make hard choices.
529
00:18:43,499 --> 00:18:44,624
I did.
530
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:47,001
And what you call
"scamming" got me by.
531
00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:48,336
And look at me now.
532
00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:49,880
I own a school.
533
00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:02,850
So, it turns out the cat belongs
to Brianne in fourth grade.
534
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,185
She, uh, lost him
535
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,728
when she brought him
in for show and tell,
536
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:08,898
which you are not supposed
to do, for obvious reasons.
537
00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:10,650
Don't touch me!
538
00:19:10,651 --> 00:19:11,859
I told you, we three
should've gotten in that car
539
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,528
and never looked back.
540
00:19:15,698 --> 00:19:19,033
Henry, may I talk to you
for a moment, please?
541
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:21,244
I didn't mean to embarrass
you in front of your friends.
542
00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:23,788
Sweetheart, you
did no such thing.
543
00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:26,541
I'm sorry for embarrassing you.
544
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:28,167
Forgive me?
545
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,796
I don't think an adult has
ever apologized to me before.
546
00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:33,047
It's kinda lit.
547
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:34,757
I forgive you, Ms. Howard.
548
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,968
Thank you, Henry.
549
00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:38,094
Would you be interested
in helping out
550
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:39,971
at a church bake sale?
551
00:19:39,972 --> 00:19:42,265
We're gonna need an
expert salesman like you
552
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:44,267
if we're gonna make any money.
553
00:19:44,268 --> 00:19:45,643
You'll get a cut out
of everything you sell.
554
00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:47,187
How about 5%?
555
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:50,857
90%.
556
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:53,526
10%, and you get to keep
whatever you don't sell.
557
00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:55,403
Deal. Deal.
558
00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:56,947
Yeah.
559
00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,159
Barb.
560
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,827
Next time I do something
to help others,
561
00:20:02,828 --> 00:20:04,036
which I'm very good at,
562
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,163
I'll make sure to give
you the whole story
563
00:20:05,164 --> 00:20:06,789
so that you're not surprised.
564
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,125
Thank you, Ava.
565
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:11,002
Honoring what I just said,
I borrowed your school ID
566
00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:12,336
to get free pancakes
567
00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:13,963
at the Original Hip-Hop
House of Pancakes.
568
00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:15,465
They give it to teachers
and not principals.
569
00:20:15,466 --> 00:20:17,009
Ain't that criminal?
570
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:23,598
Hey. Hey.
571
00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:26,017
So, I know that your
date is tonight,
572
00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:28,019
and I just wanted to say
that I hope you have fun.
573
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,854
Mo's a really good guy.
574
00:20:29,855 --> 00:20:31,898
Aww. Thank you.
575
00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:34,567
He must be if he's
friends with you.
576
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,027
Oh, um, one more thing.
577
00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,361
Maybe don't order the ribs.
578
00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:38,404
I've seen you eat ribs before.
579
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,990
It can get aggressive.
580
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:41,992
That's a good call.
581
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:48,831
And, you know, it was
just really shocking
582
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:50,208
for the whole family.
583
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:51,001
I mean, I know I wasn't
prepared to lose her, you know.
584
00:20:51,002 --> 00:20:54,629
Small, just a kid.
585
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:55,963
It really changed the
way I looked at life
586
00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:57,757
from that day forward.
587
00:20:57,758 --> 00:21:00,218
Wow.
588
00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:01,594
You know, I never
really opened up
589
00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:04,347
about this kind of stuff before.
590
00:21:04,348 --> 00:21:05,640
Thank you for listening.
591
00:21:05,641 --> 00:21:07,850
Oh, my God.
592
00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:09,310
Are you kidding?
593
00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:11,771
Thank you for sharing.
594
00:21:11,772 --> 00:21:13,689
Well, speaking of sharing,
do you want some of this?
595
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,149
It's really good.
596
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:17,068
No, no, no. No, thank you.
597
00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:18,611
No.
598
00:21:18,612 --> 00:21:19,946
Mm.
599
00:21:19,947 --> 00:21:21,447
Oh, no. I'm not done.
600
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:23,075
Oh.
601
00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:28,539
- - Captions by VITAC...